Wearing The Pants

So I went to Women’s Conference at our Stake Center this weekend. I wore pants.

Now, I think it’s a shame to let perfectly adorable wool trousers sit around unused. Yes, I know we wear dresses and skirts to church on Sundays, but shouldn’t there be a place in Heaven for trousers? Beautiful, wool lined trousers that are totally cute and preppy? Where’s the love, people?

So my girlfriend picked me up for the meeting. 

“Whoa, pants,” she says, looking darling in her stretchy dress.

“Yeah, I was in the mood,” I reply in an I-don’t-care-what-anyone-thinks-even-though-I-totally-do tone.

“Doesn’t that make you a little nervous?” 

This is when I pretend that women wear slacks to church EVERYDAY. “No, why should it?”

“I don’t know, my folks were always big on dresses only in the chapel,” she says casually.

“That is ridiculous!” I then launch into a million reasons why I can and should wear this particular pair of pants everywhere I go, especially Women’s Conference. 

“Hey, I think they’re cute,” my poor attacked friend replies. “You should have told me, I would have worn pants with you,” true, good wonderful friend. 

As we entered the Cultural Hall (i.e. GYM-like calling it the Cultural Hall is going to make me more cultured when I can SEE the basketball hoops and hear the click click of my heels echo throughout the entire universe?) the only women present were Old. Er. Not the kind of girls who would dare to wear trousers anywhere.

As the dinner wore on I found myself becoming increasingly concerned with my skirtless state. Were people whispering about me? That lady over there, did she just point? At me? (Okay, I was holding Junie and the lady was smiling and waving, but for all I could tell she was really covering up a nasty comment about my pants.)

At the end of the meal we made our way to a table of Women from my ward. The ward RS president and counselors, to be exact. In order to avoid the elephant pants that were gaining increased notoriety as I traveled across the gym floor, I decided to call a spade a spade.

“I guess I forgot I live in Utah now with these slacks, but doesn’t it seem like we never have an excuse to wear cute pants?” 

“No, they’re fine!” says a darling nameless woman seated at the table. “I mean, you’re not planning on sitting in the chapel anyway, right?” 

Gulp. “No! Of course not!” Sweat. Rolling. “I mean, Junie is just crazy crazy crazy these days! I’ll totally be in the foyer.” Nod, smile. Out goes the causeless rebel, Retreat! Retreat! Run home and get a skirt!

That’s when an older, wiser and more realistic sister piped up. “You go on in, we don’t care what you’re wearing.” I think she might have shot a glare at the previous commentator. My pulse slowed and I smiled across the table. 

When it comes right down to it, I knew exactly what I was doing putting on those pants. I knew there would be older sisters who couldn’t help themselves from casting a little judgement here and there toward my impropriety. Sisters who don’t know me, don’t know my heart but only see pants

But you know what? That’s not the norm. Realistically speaking, women weren’t snickering about me or pointing fingers at anything but my darling daughter. And I can guarantee Jesus loves me just as much (rebellious heart and all) as the next sister, so what do I have to worry about anyway?

Hey, maybe next year I’ll wear dressy shorts. Oh yeah, that will go over well.


  1. You go, girl!

  2. This was so hilarious. “I then launch into a million reasons why I can and should wear this particular pair of pants everywhere I go, especially Women’s Conference. ”

    I never type LOL (it’s against my religion, for some reason) so I’ll just say I Laughed Out Loud more than once in this one, Annie. Thanks for that. I will have to reconsider my subscription to your blog, though, now that I know what kind of a person you REALLY are.

  3. Katie Brown says:

    You know what? That rocks out loud. Now you have EMPATHY for investigators/new converts who show up in pants!!! You know how it feels to be self-conscious in a room full of dress-wearers. GOOD on you! and if i had gone to the broadcast (i have the BYU channel at home, so why would i suffer through the social anxiety?) i totally would have shown up in slacks. i can;t stand wearing skirts/dresses. i’m butch like that, LOL

  4. I am rebellious too. For the last couple of years I have refused to dress up in skirts for wedding receptions. (Except relatives). Who cares? They only want my present and my name on the roll anyway. And all I really want is a piece of cake. Why include a dress in the mix?

    Very funny Annie. I think it’s okay to wear dress pants too. But you may want to think twice about the Daisy Duke’s. Even I wouldn’t go there.

  5. Annie, I showed up to my stake PSI in pants. I thought it would be totally okay but I got a very stern speech from the president (you know who I mean) and holy smokes was I embarrassed, but alas, I still wear dress pants every chance I think I can get away with it! I didn’t even go to Women’s conference. Going in pants, would have been better than not going at all wouldn’t you think?

  6. Have you been struck by lightning yet? That’s usually the sign I look for when I’m doing something against the norm. Don’t ask me, though, I wore pajamas to Women’s Conference — watched it right in the comfort of my own living room on my own computer monitor with my fleece blankie, a huge box of Kleenex and a mug of TheraFlu by my side.

  7. Blog Stalker says:

    Seriously…pants to a church function? Surprised they didn’t excommunicate you 🙂

  8. Once I went to an enrichment night which I somehow didn’t realize would take place in the Chapel. I wore a hooded sweatshirt and jeans…..try smiling down those old lady glares.

  9. You are awesome! Technically speaking, no where in ANY handbook does it say that we must wear a dress or skirt to church. My mom ran into a situation with an investigator/innactive (she is STAKE Relief Society Pres.) that others were being rather judemental about regarding her pants. So….my mommy-o backed her up. I’m just jealous that you took the time to go. I however totally got lazy and missed out on something wonderful. Shame shame. Ta ta, Rachel

  10. I LOVE that you wore pants! Whats the big deal anyway? I think there are a lot of us who wish we were as brave.

  11. I’m glad that lady said that to you. Its nice when someone backs you up and makes you feel comfortable when its really not a big deal and people are trying to be all weird.

  12. I’ve got your back!

    I see your cute wool pants and raise you my Jeans and sandals. It’s all about the heart anyway, right?!

  13. I’m SO annoyed that there’s any form of dress code at all. I’m way too lazy / sensitive / argumentative- whatever you want to call it for all the rules that have to do with outward appearance. I like to have a reason to dress up on occasion but my personal being a convert that grew up in a church full of people who wore jeans to church experience makes me lean towards wishing we could all wear pants more often!

  14. You should be excommunicated, you evil rebel! 🙂 Seriously though, we worry too much about outward appearances rather than the intentions of the heart. Honestly, sometimes I think we’re turning into modern day Pharisees. And we don’t even know it. Sad.

  15. Apparently I’m both the evil sister, and the bad example. I wore jeans.

    I was having a rotten day, and if I’d had to change my clothes I knew I would’t have gone. I decided the Lord would rather have me there.

    Plus we’re not as weird about that stuff up here – which we know contributed to your casual pants attitude. That and your rebel spirit.

  16. hahahahahaha….pants….hahahahahaha

    what? It’s a funny word.

  17. No one would have batted an eye down here. Last year my new-from-Idaho counselor asked if we were wearing dresses/skirts to the Saturday morning practice for the Primary Program.
    Are you serious? We are going to chase around 50 kids and then serve them pizza in dresses?
    No way! And welcome to Roswell, you’re gonna love it!
    Somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered that chapel= dresses, but I figured that if anyone was really bothered by it, they could fire me as Primary President. I could live with that.
    So I have to ask- was the intentions of your heart (which is what really counts here, right? Your whole arguement is based on that) because you wanted to be more comfortable? or because you knew you looked fabulous in your pants? Cumon’ here, tell the truth?

  18. So if the pants were Dressy and you were there did it really matter what you were wearing? If you were decent who cares what you wore?

  19. Now i’m TOTALLY considering wearing my seldom used dress pants to certain church functions. They REALLY need more use… 😀

  20. I’m pretty disappointed Annie. I mean really, you couldn’t have found an appropriate jumper and t-shirt, or at the very least a long khaki skirt? Make a little less effort ok? Get your slouch on and blend in would you?

  21. She seriously said that?! That’s awesome! In a completely judgmental, focusing on the wrong thing kind of way of course.