Bad things happen to people who bleach their hair. I don’t care what the professionals say, my hair folicles aren’t the only things getting damaged up there. 

Example. I recently designed a brilliant line of Twilight T-shirts to sell on the internet right over there (look at the button on your right). You might have looked. You might have loved them. You might have WANTED one. You might have followed the ordering information and tried to GET one. But would you have succeeded? No. 

Because I’m an idiot. 

I found out a few days ago that the email address I’ve had up FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK had a typo in it. My typo. I typed it wrong. It was me (and my hair). I tried to blame cut and paste for a while, I tried to blame the baby for getting poopy at an inopportune moment, I even tried to blame Mac. It’s no use. Those things are all innocent. It’s the bleach. 

But I can’t stop. There’s no way for me to back pedal now. Once you’ve gone this blonde, there is no going back. It’s like an addiction. When I feel that purple pasty acid hit my scalp, burning the color out of my hair one folicle at a time, I sit there amid the itching, stinging, scorching fumes and smile. Bleach is my vice, I can’t give it up now. I was made with white eyebrows for a reason, people. I will be forever driven to kill the color staining my locks and be, forever, platinum. 

And so, if you tried once to order a T-shirt, try again. This time you’ll have success. 

And people are ordering them now!! So if you’re reading this and you’ve placed your order, then just know that you are an angel with a credit card who is helping a worthy cause. And I love you. In a world wide web kind of way.


  1. Gotta love the hair dye! So sorry about the whole typo thing. Hopefully with that corrected, you will be over-whelmed with orders (in a good way of course -we want you to make it to Georgia)

  2. So sad! I’m glad you figured out the typo!

  3. hee hee hee. So funny you are. I’m funny in that typo kinda way too and I’m a brunette. No bleach.

    So just email your story and we won’t post it until Friday, IF it makes the finals. hee hee.

    No pressure.

  4. Good thing! My mother in laws birthday is coming up and I need that shirt.

  5. I have a similar obssession with lip gloss but I haven’t figured out what to blame on it. Memory loss is blamed on toddler-related sleeplessness so maybe lip gloss should take the blame for…why I keep skipping the gym. Can’t mess it up and all or I’d have to reapply and it’s expensive lip gloss so really, not going to the gym saves money.

  6. It’s OK, I still love your bleach blondedness.

    Where have you been, missy?

  7. LOL!

    (and you thought I was joking)

  8. If I could bleach my hair and look as beautiful as you I would do it in an instant. ps do you have a paypal acct? cause I have paypal money that I could use for a shirt

  9. As your sister, there are just wayyy too many things I could say here that could get me in trouble.

    It’s a shame to waste them, but I’m strong enough to resist. You can thank me later.

    And congrats on your orders!

  10. I think you know that I cover up my blonde, (not that I am super blonde though) and I have for almost 12 years now…hmm, I might not even be blonde anymore…but I can still claim it as an excuse right?

  11. So that’s the reason you are the way you are? It explains so much.

  12. Followed you here from mormon mommy blogs and glad I did. You’re hilarious!