I have been alone for somewhere around 125 days now. That’s 125 evenings without someone to talk to while making dinner, without someone to boss around during bath time, without someone to watch The Office with, without someone. 

Most of the time, I’m pretty okay with that. I fill my life with mundane tasks interspersed with moments of public embarrassment and hilarity. But now and then I get pretty sick and tired of the same stupid conversation, night after night, over the telephone. Especially when I’ve waited 12 hours to talk to him. 

“So how was your day?” says I.

“Good.” Silence.

“Good? Not fun or boring or interesting or busy?”

“All of the above.” Silence.

I’m sorry, but is it too much to ask for some genuine feedback here? This sounds suspiciously like a conversation between a mother and her fourteen year old son. 

I guess sometimes we need to remind the men in our lives that even though we’re tired and they’re tired and it’s been a long good fun boring interesting busy day, communicating the stupid details matters to us. If they think it’s insignificant, we probably think it’s priceless information. 

Two weeks from tomorrow this will all be over. I feel like I’ve exhausted all my resources here, like if I ask for one more favor I’ll be so indebted to the family/neighborhood/world that I’ll never be able to dig my way out. How much homemade bread can a girl crank out in a month? I’m actually out of thank you cards and sick of writing them. That’s a terrible thing to say, I know, but I don’t want to do this anymore. 

In other news, my Lean Cuisine was fabulous tonight. I think I’ll go lick the last 12 calories out of the tray.


  1. My husband now works nights, and I know that it is nothing compared to what you are going through, but I didn’t realize how lonely it would get. I don’t feel up to cooking meals for my kiddos..so they get pb and j or other non-nutritous crap. Then when they are in bed…the silence is not golden. I’m happy your guy is coming home soon for you.

  2. My husband has a need to know policy. I will ask him if he asked his dad or mom about something, and he will say, “It didn’t come up.” Or, “He didn’t ask.” Give me a break.

  3. My question is what are you going to write about in 15 days?

  4. I can’t tell you how happy to hear that your super hot secret agent husband isn’t a perfect conversationalist too! Hooray!

    15 more days girl! I can hardly wait (for you).

    Hang in there!

  5. Ummm…. it wasn’t one of the recalled chicken Lean Cuisine’s was it?

  6. I just freaking figured out what the picture was of your header! this whole time I thought it was a warped view of your eye. Its your mouth! Man I’m such a dork 🙂

  7. It’s a genetic male thing, I swear. If I want to know about anything going on hubby’s job–anything AT ALL–I have to wait to listen to him talk to his dad on the phone. Then he spills it all. To me, it’s always, “Oh, nothing much happened.”

  8. Yum-there are some good Lean Cuisine’s out there:)

    Hope you can make it the next 15 days. And hey, at least you have someone to have the same conversation with. 🙂 Even if it is less than satisfying.

  9. I LOVE the picture on your header. Very sexy and sophisticated. I have animated cows on mine.

    I generally detest talking to my husband on the phone. He’s much more animated and interesting in person. I hear you on the tired of doing it all alone. That’s tough. You are tough. What choice do you have? You need a counter on your sidebar for the reunion.

  10. I have a relative who is the queen of “I can do anything for ________(insert time period here)” and your post made me think of that.
    “I can eat frozen dinners for 14 more days.”
    “I can put these children down for 28 more sleeps (if I’m lucky).”
    “I can have totally one-sided phone conversations for only six more nights. At which point I will begin telling myself over the phone just how fabulous I am, what a babe I am in my new jeans, how much I appreciate all the hard momming I’ve been doing, and how glad I am that I’m in this family.”
    The sisterhood is here for you, baby. And you can, indeed do anything for fourteen more days.
    Go, you!

  11. I’m hoping the rest of the Lean Cuisine was fabulous!

    Yeah for you that you are almost done being single. Although, my hubby has been here and we still have those kinds of conversations.

  12. You’re almost through it!

    Come see me! Or maybe I’ll come see you. Or something.

  13. Hang in there Annie. I remember when my husband was traveling, gone for weeks at a time. It sucked. Big time.

    On the plus side, it’s only a memory now. Just like this will be.

    Yes, I’m SO PROFOUND, I know.

  14. Hang in there. Two more weeks and this will all be a really fresh memory that you can’t shake.

  15. It’s a male thing, yesh. Although sometimes I prefer just listening to My Man breathing on the other end to eating Haagan Daas and feeling sorry for myself.


  16. *interspersed with moments of public embarrassment and hilarity*

    great line

  17. My husband likes to talk – except only what he’s interested in. So we have the same exact conversation over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. See how annoying that is? Yeah, my husband needs to pull out some of that male non-talking stuff. Or realize that I also have topics to discuss. That would be good too.



  18. Yeah, I love those one-word answers that give ya nothin. I’ve learned that conversing with men is just like trying to get info from my kids – if I ask a “yes/no good/bad” question, that’s all I’m gonna get. I have to ask questions that make them TELL me something. “What did you eat for lunch today?”, “What was your favorite part of your day?”, “What are you working on at your job?”

    Annoying, yes. But it does get a little more to converse about…

    Did you hear that everyting at Victoria’s Secret is 1/2 off? Oh wait, that’s how you’re supposed to wear it… (hee hee)

  19. I’ve been lurking here for a few weeks, but now I need to tell you that I SO feel your pain, and I hope the next couple of weeks fly by for you.

    My hubs and I spent five months apart this year because of his job. Spending all of your time with a two-year-old is not as awesome as all of those Fisher-Price commercials make it out to be, and when hubs and I would talk, he’d inevitably be distracted by twelve other things. I just wanted to reach through the phone and grab his face and say, “Talk to ME. Forget that other stuff. ME. I’ve had eighteen conversations about Dora and Tinkerbell today, I need adult interaction!”

    Funny thing is, when we finally moved up to where he’d been living, I kind of found it annoying to have him there dirtying dishes and creating more laundry and you know, disturbing me with his needs and thoughts and breathing and such. It went away after a few weeks though. Mostly.

  20. O.k. My husband and I have the EXACT same conversation every night while he’s gone during the week. The first couple of weeks I felt sad/dissapointed/annoyed, then I just realized I was setting myself up every night if I looked forward to the conversations. So, I just wait until the weekend to really get any sort of meaningful conversation. I know what you’ve been doing is hard. I can’t imagine not having the weekends to rejuvinate myself. But hey–you’re almost done. I’ve got 2 1/2 more years of weekday widowhood!