Who Needs a Therapist? I’ve Got the Best Doctor in Town

I’ve been suffering from mood swings and I haven’t been able to figure out why. I’m not a moody person, what’s happening to me?

Yesterday morning I left for pilates at 5:30 am, groggy and tired. In a rash attempt to rouse my sleepy self, I did the unthinkable and grabbed a Diet Dr. Pepper on my way to the gym.

Now, in my mind, I don’t drink pop. Sure, we’ve got a 24 pack of Diet Dr. Pepper and a 12 pack of Diet Cherry Coke in the garage fridge, but that’s only for company. And Jason. And emergencies (like 11:30 am or 2:45 pm or dinner time). I don’t drink pop, no way.

When I got home from the gym, I felt so chipper. I happily prepared breakfast and spent the next two hours cleaning and doing laundry. I was so seriously on the ball, it was most impressive.

Then my energy started to fade, kind of like old jeans that aren’t cool faded, but lame. By 1:30 pm I was cranky. That’s right, rotten, barky, and mood-e. Why? I asked myself, why why why?

By 2:30 I was stomping around, glaring at the whites and cursing the baby for ruining another 100 piece puzzle (where does she find them?).

Then I had a great idea. I know what I need, I said to myself, I need a Diet Dr. Pepper! Yes! That will make me feel so happy! It’s sweet and fizzy and yummy and–

No. No no no no. I can’t be an addict. I don’t even drink pop. Much. I’d better try one right now, just to see if it actually makes a difference. Not because I need one or anything…

And it was kind of like sick, caffienated magic. In a matter of frantically guzzled moments, I went from Mr. Wheeler to Mr. Walker.

Must. Break. Addiction…


  1. I don’t drink pop either. I drink soda. 😉

  2. I have that problem (er, I mean I have NO problem and NO addiction) with chocolate. Hence my avoiding it for Lent.

  3. Yeah, I drink diet A & W so I’m pretty sure that’s not an addiction because there’s no caffeine. The box of See’s chocolate I’ve hidden somewhere in office? Might be another situation, though.

  4. I’m just impressed that you got out of bed at 5:30 am.

  5. Oh I’m totally addicted to Mountain Dew. Totally. The last couple of days I’ve had the worst headache because guess what? No Mountain Dew. So I get this, don’t know how to help, but I get it. 🙂

  6. Ooooo, you’re a sinner! And an ADDICT! The SHAME…

    (There. Maybe that will give you the motivation you need to kick this NASY habit. And do you think anyone besides us knows who Mr. Walker and Mr. Wheeler are?)

  7. Where I come from everything is coke, what kind do you want? I have a daily dose of the same Dr. you have. Love the DDP. Without it I have PMS X’s 10. The doctor is always “in” at me house. I rarely offer it to company though, that’s stuffs for me.

  8. One of my happiest days was during my first pregnancy and my doctor told me to drink caffeinated soda to keep my blood pressure up. My blood pressure had been dropping a lot and he said a little bit of caffeine would kick it right back up to where it was supposed to be. So now, when I pregnant I have it on doctor’s orders to drink Dr. Pepper and I don’t even have to share it because it is “medicine for mom!”

  9. Mtn Dew addiction. Right here. I’m trying to stop using Lortab for my chronic headaches, and I’m succeeding–but now I’m downing Mtn. Dew like there’s no tomorrow. Yeah. I’m smart like that.

  10. Annie, your comment you left on my blog made me laugh for about 5 minutes. Awesome.

  11. Good luck with that. I’m not addicted either.

  12. PS I heard they were making an exception in the Word of Wisdom….caffeine is good, even great if you have children under the age of 25. Multiply needed amount by number of children. That’s just what I heard.

  13. I have the same high when I drink soda too my choice diet Pepsi lol its hard!!

  14. I have a weird addiction to gum. Not strident or orbit– that disgusting pink sugary gum. I can’t stop. Its so horrible . But I can’t stop.

  15. Who is Pop anyway?

  16. 5:30 AM?? Sheesh! Is this a regular thing? Lately for me, that’s about the time I FINALLY drift off to sleep. (I have some serious sleep problems, just in case you haven’t noticed. Sometimes my “comments” to your entries are at embarrassing AM hours) But yeah, I totally get the energy drop issue. I’ve got a serious addiction to candy. I can’t life without candy. If it ever became part of the WOW, I’d be in some serious trouble.

    Keep up the good work with early pilates and and funny entries. I’m so in love. 🙂 🙂

  17. Don’t fight the Dr. He knows what’s best. I don’t know how you can down the Diet version, but whatever floats your boat.
    We will not find an ounce of any carbonated beverage in my house. It’s strictly BYOD.P.

  18. First of all, I call it “pop” too. People give me grief for it, too.
    Secondly- it is so nice to know you are still human. Sometimes you worry me.
    thirdly- My addiction is sugar. That is why I haven’t tried your salami diet yet. So, please tell me how to overcome this addiction so when we go shopping together, we are looking for the same size!

  19. Are you kidding, I saw the Diet coke deliver man at the Convenience Store the other day and it took all my will-power not to hug him, weeping that all the hard work he did was appreciated. I did tell him he was my favourite delivery man, then had to run out before he thought I was hitting on him.