The White Witch

I had the strangest “dream” last night around seven-thirty. In this “dream”, my husband and I were standing in a beautiful room, all dressed in white. We were standing in a corner, lightly hugging each other, talking in hushed voices about how great it was to be without the kids. 

Suddenly, out of the blue, a lady in a white dress with short white hair came up and said, “Excuse me, but we can’t allow prolonged displays of affection here.” I laughed because I thought she was a funny funny lady. Then she said, “You’ll have to let go now.”

Seriously? Do you know how rare it is for me to get this kind of casual affection from my husband without some small child disrupting us? To have a quiet, intimate moment with him is a hard-earned reward that should not be disrupted.

“Oh, wow, you’re serious,” I say to the bad white-haired lady. “That’s fine, we’ll take it outside.”

There was a sweet 80-somethingish woman in my dream who I had befriended earlier in the evening. Meeting up with her on the way out, I told her about the bad, bad white-haired lady. “You saw us,” I said, “did we look inappropriate?” I had to ask because I admit, I hate to miss a chance to maul Jason if an opportunity presents itself.

She laughed. And laughed and laughed and laughed. Then she told the lady in charge, who happened to a nice white-haired lady, and also her good friend and neighbor (don’t you love it when Karma visits your dreams?). The nice white haired lady was horrified. 

“What did she look like?” she asked me.

“Well, she was medium height with short white hair, and she was wearing a white dress.”

“That should help,” she said with a smile.

Then I woke up in street clothes and we made out in the car. Gotta love date night.


  1. hilarious. way to get scolded.

  2. Yikes! I guess I should be careful in my own “dreams”, as they are often full of affection while wearing white and whispering reverently to my spouse.

  3. HILARIOUS! You were asked to leave?! What a good story.

  4. I don’t think I would be able to remember my dreams in so much detail!

  5. so funny! were you headed to the temple for date night?!?

  6. OH man, I love how you wrote this–hysterical! Bad, bad white haired lady needs to stay out of your dreams, I hope it won’t become a recurring nightmare! Eeek!

  7. i love this description..

    “Well, she was medium height with short white hair, and she was wearing a white dress.”

    “That should help,” she said with a smile.

    in my experience having been in the same place.. where your “dream” takes place all the nice ladies look the same..

  8. Question…how much cleavage was your white dress showin’
    because too much cleavage=mean white haired lady.

  9. Oh Annie, This post freaks me out. It brought back such embarrassing memories! Steve and I had just been married about a month and of course, we couldn’t keep our lips off of each other. But my husband is so completely shy–never kiss–just a hand holding was all I ever got in public.

    We were at the Temple grounds and it so felt like we were just married again. You know… when you go back right after the honeymoon. We were kissing, just kissing!… in the car clear out in the middle of the parking lot and a Temple grounds keeper put a flashlight in our faces and told us we were engaging in inappropriate public display of affection.

    He must have been waiting for us to kiss, ‘cuz I only got 1/2 of a good smooch. Most of our dates were at the L.A. Temple while Steve was a Visitor Center Guide (RMs used to do that) Didn’t he kiss me back then? Probably not.

    I know my husband will remember that incident and I know it ruined it for special sunset kisses at the beach house, the Portola forest fishing, and never, ever during a movie. I even told him he “dazzled me” in Twilight and he choked on the popcorn and had get up and go for water. lymi Susan

  10. Bwa ha ha ha ha!!! Way to get the revenge and who doesn’t need a good makeout session upon waking? =]

  11. And I thought I was the only one who dreamed of being scolded by the white-haired lady. Really, you’d think they would have a little more compassion on us.

  12. I’m still laughing….almost didn’t make it to the bathroom. You are a kick!

    Yeee–ahhh… Annie “it” does get better.

  13. What a hoot! I don’t think you guys were the ones missing the point in your “dream”, btw.

  14. I hate when I hear it before I read it. It kills the effect.

    (Or is it affect? I can never remember…)

  15. Dreams are sooooo strange –wouldn’t it be nice to decipher the meaning (if there is one) you still make out in the car???? You go girl!!

  16. Ha ha ha, Annie got in trouble in the temp.. Oh, sorry, in her dream.

  17. I got in trouble in my “dream” once too. For sitting inappropriatly. Apparently, you’re not supposed to cross your legs. Who knew?

  18. I kid you not but this ACTUALLY happened to me in the great white building where you wear white and where there are plenty of little white haired old ladies to tell you off! Except MM was the one scolded because she thought he was following me to the ladies dressing room… no doubt she was thinking we were planning some hanky panky of some sort. Isn’t it weird that you should dream in kind?

  19. Great Date Night “Dream.” Now I know why you and Tiff have remained friends all these years. You both have make-out temple blood. When Tiff was sealed to Justin in the SLC Temple by Elder Quentin Cook (he was Justin’s old Stake Pres. in San Fran) they kissed after the ceremony. And continued kissing. They were pretty much making out. Finally, after everyone started shuffling around nervously and uncomfortably, Elder Cook asked them to stop. I still laugh when I think of that. At least your White Witch wasn’t a General Authority.

  20. Apparently the white witches will also not let you sit on his lap. Even if there are no other places to sit, and your hubby is in the last chair. He just has to stand next to you while you sit in it (cause you have to sit, cause you’re really pregnant). So you can’t even have a conversation because he is standing and you are sitting, and you can’t talk above a whisper, and he is 6 feet so that won’t work.
    But I guess that was just a dream I had…

  21. Once there were no chairs left and I saw someone I knew from long ago. I was sort of bent at the knees stooping down to whisper to this elderly lady in the brightest room. I was told to stand up because certain things weren’t supposed to touch the floor. Protocol before people I guess . . .

  22. annie valentine says:

    You know what it is? It’s old ladies who really need something to do.

  23. Just so you know Annie. . .I don’t remember my wedding day being anything like Sarah remembers! I don’t even remember Elder Cook sealing us, did he really? Oh wait, maybe I WAS making out with my groom. . .