The Bachelorette: just another form of reality torment

So I finally started watching all my recorded Bachelorette’s last night. I can’t stand it, that show gives me serious anxiety.

I don’t know if I feel worse for Jillian or the steaks (because let’s face it, that’s what they are). What’s was up with her getting rid of John H. from Boise the first week? He was so cute and liked her so much. It made me seriously question her judgement. And the nasty country singer who’s only there for the free publicity (don’t tell me if he gets voted off, I’m only halfway through the second episode)? Sa-limy.

Let me tell you, if I were a contestant on The Bachelor, I would show up to the first night in a ratty old bathrobe with curlers in my hair and a clay mask on my face. Then I’d tell him that I only get better from here, and this is the worst it gets. (Although we all know that would be a lie. Until a man has seen you nine months pregnant with a carton of ice cream on your lap bawling your eyes out over some AT&T commercial, he has no idea what he’s really in for.)

Frankly, being single is tough enough. Going on some show where you sacrifice your heart and dignity in the name of true love (i.e. ratings) only to walk away with an entire nation women who know all your flaws…that kind of dooms a person to “eternal singleness”. If you’re a guy, they don’t want you, and if you’re a girl, they won’t let their brother/cousin/son ever date you.

I think I’d rather be privately single, thank you very much.


  1. I watched most of last night’s episode, but then I got bored and didn’t finish it.

    PLus, every 5 minutes she’s making out with a new guy already. I am disgusted. And slightly jealous.

  2. Loved the bit about the face mask and curlers–although the pregnancy bawling thing is SO TRUE that it’s not even funny. Well…it is a little funny. =]

  3. I liked the Boise boy, too! I’m anxious for you to get caught up—I know you’ll have some fun comments:)

  4. I’m afraid for Juan’s life, one day he won’t be around to sweet talk Jillian because Dave did something, like kill him.
    And foot guy is totally creeping me out…

  5. Another show I don’t watch. 🙁 But that America’s Next Top Model I have LOTS to say about! haha

  6. I just want to sit here and laugh as I think of you 9 months pregnant, with a carton of ice cream on your lap crying over the commercials –LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

  7. That’s hilarious. That would be funny if you dressed like that on the bachelor. That would be funny if ALL the bachelor girls dressed like that at least for 1 episode. I’ll have to watch it once and see if I can stand it.

  8. How funny I feel exactly LIKE that when I am not wearing my bra… but in my case it is all true because let’s just say my boobs are the opposite of pebbles! I HATE it!