“More to Love”: the beefier version of “The Bachelor”

So I saw that spin-off of The Bachelor, “More To Love”  last night. In case you missed the previews, it’s a show about one Big Guy dating 20 Big Girls (and no, it’s no relation to Big Love, although that would have been a better title). I forced Jenny to come watch it with me. It was kind of like a reality television train wreck.

Here’s the thing. First off, why didn’t they have 20 guys vying for one plus size girl, instead of the other way around? After seeing the pilot episode, one thing is for sure: these girls each deserve their own group of men, duking it out over who gets to share the hot fudge Sunday with them, not the other way around. The show is totally heartbreaking.

And if I hear one more contestant tearfully lament that, “This is my only chance at love!” I might actually gain a little weight, go on the show under a false identity, just for the chance to say on national television that Fat Girls Are People Too, and that darn it, men want me. Would someone please give these girls some hope?

And secondly, HOW DARE THEY POST THE PARTICIPANT’S WEIGHT?! Because obviously, the women on this show are totally confident in their appearances. So confident that most of them missed prom, have never had boyfriends, and cry during every. Single. Interview.

And the guy? At first glance I really thought he seemed quality–until he started asking for kissses in three different languages. I’m sorry, but if you want to kiss me after three minutes of stimulating conversation with 19 other women watching, you’re obviously smooching up the wrong tree. Then again, if someone had recruited me for my plus size and posted my weight on national television, I probably wouldn’t have the courage to say no either.

I don’t know if I can stand to watch another episode, it’s so totally wrong. I feel like I should send these girls a copy of my *Bounce Back! tape to listen to. “Ba-bou–ba-bou–ba-bou–ba-bou—-Bounce Back!”

Oh yeah, and have any of you watched Dating in the Dark? See, this is what happens when you’re away from your husband for too long. Shameful late-night television indulgences. I disgust myself.

*Bounce Back! is a motivational casette tape that was released by our church in the ’80’s. Apparently, I’m the only person who ever listened to it. Hey, it got me through fifth grade (I was kind of chubby). I still have two copies that I keep in a safe deposit box for when June turns ten.


  1. I totally listened to Bounce Back! I think the “missionary moment” of my junior high years was giving one to a struggling friend. Awesome.

  2. You know, I’ve been hearing about this show, and I thought it sounded great. In concept. But in reality, all it’s doing it exploiting these men and women for their weight, and for no other reason. I guess you could argue that the the Bachelor/ette exploits men and women for their beauty and for nothing else, but personally, I think I’d rather be exploited for my beauty than my weight (and I think I’ve got more weight to exploit than beauty, but that’s neither here nor there). Exploitation isn’t my only beef with it. I agree with you that it would be more flattering to the women (who tend to have body issues more than men) to have 20 men vying for one woman. Also, I hope that the show doesn’t get picked up for more than one season. It’s unfair when all plus-sized people are painted with a woe-is-me brush. Finally, why is it set up that it’s all plus-sized women and men? Because plus-sized people can only be with other plus-sized people? Why can’t they intermix? My husband is thin as a rail, and I struggle with hormone-induced weight gain. What’s wrong with our skinny/fat combination?

  3. If my husband were out of town, I’d have watched it too 🙂 But he’s not, so I’m stuck watching quality television on the Military Channel.

    I agree with all your statements though – they made fun of this show on the Soup last week and it just made me nauseous. I would like to go throw a brick through the exec’s window who greenlighted this. It honestly in my opinion pushes the women’s movement back worse than Charm School.

  4. You’re a braver woman than I. Even the idea of this show makes my eyeballs twitch.

  5. I feel so bad for those women. I haven’t watched the show, but it does seem heartbreaking. There ARE guys out there who don’t see weight as an issue. I’m married to one.

  6. The whole concept sounds great on paper until you realize they put only big people on the show. I agree with the other commenters, why wouldn’t skinny women be attracted to a big dude? Or skinny men to a big girl. And, uh, size 14 is normal, not plus size. So I take issue with that characterization too. Sigh. I suppose that’s what we should expect from a world fixated on the temporal.
    And I totally listed to Bounce Back, ad naseum.

  7. Ha! My mom used to play the Bounce Back cassette in the minivan when we were driving around town back in the day. I wonder if she still has it . . .

  8. Annie. Amen. Amen. Amen. I agree! I actually saw this show last week and gasped in horror when I saw they were posting their weight. And then I literally said out loud (even though I was alone), “how dare they! I hope Annie sees this, because I know she’ll blog about it.” It totally offended my woman sister power sensibilities.
    And by the time the heavy breathing slow talking guy started on the “ummmm besos. I like besos. How ’bout another beso. How about you beso me” I was totally creeped out by him.
    I think I’m through.

  9. Thank you. Plenty of reasons for me to avoid that one. Ugh.

  10. And didn’t that guy seem like he was made out of cardboard? He had NO personality!!

    I felt bad for those women. At least the women on other reality shows have all had relationships before.l Many of these women had never had a boyfriend. It’s just a disaster. That I will keep watching.

  11. Kim Haynes says:

    Thanks for saving me from watching that show,I seriously thought about watching it. Also I have seen Dating in the Dark and thought it was pretty funny. I didn’t know you were visiting in Elma ,I wish I could come and see you and the kids. Also do you have t-shirts for the New Moon twlight movie? My oldest grandaughter is in need and everytime I read a book I borrowed from her I returned it with a gift . So I finished the last book a while ago and haven’t returned the book yet.Email me if you do.

  12. Annie, I have had a total trauma that my Bounce Back cassette was flooded and had to be trashed. DO me a HUGE favor and loan one to my dad to put it onto CD for us…. PLEASE!!!!!!!

    That show does sound pretty sad, and I wish there were a way to speak to all of them and tell them of their worth!!!!

    Hugs, Tina

  13. *sigh*

  14. One more show to belittle women. GREAT!

  15. To Sarah, who commented that size 14 is normal, not plus.

    Size 14 is considered a “plus” size. That doesn’t mean that it’s not normal. A woman who wears size 14 clothes probably has a BMI that classifies her as overweight, but not necessarily obese. However, with so many shows and movies coming out of Hollywood with super tiny women, it would be nice to see “normal” plus-sized women more than just on a show that says “Look! Fat people need love, too!”

    (For the record, I am wearing size 18 shorts right now.)