My husband is cheating on me (kind of)

And there’s nothing I can do about it.

I hate myself for admitting this, and I’m banking on the fact that Jason avoids my blog like the diaper pail, and therefore will not bother to check this post. But I have to come clean here.

I am jealous of college football.

There, I said it. This time of year, I feel like he’s kind of having an affair on me all the time. I know that his lips and schedule both tell me that we’re his first priority, but college football is written on his heart–right above my name.

And who can argue it? They’ve been together way  longer than we have. Their relationship has been going strong for 26 years. I can’t compete. (Although, technically I am the younger woman, and therefore more attractive. Technically.)

Then there’s the fact that college football demands nothing from him, never nags him, and doesn’t complain that his late hours have “thrown off the schedule”. They just keep right on truckin’, week after week after week. Until basketball starts.

It’s funny, but we’ll be having conversations about important issues, like the budget, and he’ll get this glazed over look in his eye. These are key moments for me, times when I know that he’s internally working on the line-up for the next Big Game, and therefore will agree to anything. It almost makes it all worth it.

And let’s be honest, I enjoy watching sports with him. My jealousy has nothing to do with the game itself, it has to do with my high-maintenance personality (bless my clingy heart). Besides, he keeps reminding me how lucky I am, that it could be so much worse. Hey, he could like sports and hunting and video games. Lucky for me he’s not a triple threat (and I tip my headband to those of you who are thusly tied).

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going downstairs to snuggle up to him. (And I’m fixing my lipstick first.)


  1. I am so lucky my hubs does not like sports, hunting, video games. In fact he is overly addicted to me. Yup it is true, ME. It can get annoying at times, like when he has to always be with me (the bathroom can get crowded) but I live with it.

  2. What happened to your Obama school speech hating post? I was about to send a lot of traffic your way to read your crazy.

  3. I have to say I am so lucky that this isn’t a problem. I do however have to fight for attention- he love UFC! That is on ALL THE TIME. No end. Really, there is always a new fight to watch. He also loves the computer. Sometimes I wish I could trade it in for Football. Then I would only be cheated on for part of the year.

  4. I have to admit. I am so happy that my husband isn’t a sports fanatic. He likes BYU football, but I have friends whose husbands won’t schedule anything around games.

  5. I call my husband’s laptop his DLM; Dirty Little Mistress. That’s my only competition but she’s WAY younger than me and does whatever he tells her to. Except when she goes all fickle and wears her blue screen of death. Then, I secretly rejoice that Karma killed her a little bit. =]

  6. I think you should have left the Obama post up. I really liked it.

  7. I agree. Especially since I didn’t get to respond. So, I’ll do it here. Which is just to let you know, past presidents HAVE done this.

  8. Youknowwho says:

    Yo, Annie.
    Let’s be realistic. You SHOULD have left the Obamafuerher post up. It was the best thing you’ve written in a long time. However, given the “employment situation”, I “understand” why you removed it.

    Now, for THIS post.
    While I think of you as another daughter, I must ask myself if you DO realize that you are now living in Yewtaw, and many of the people we both know, will only read the headline and since they have trouble with the big words, will be unable to comprehend your post as being sarcasm and IN JEST.
    Some of the MENSA candidates in the neighborhood will BELIEVE your headline my dear. Of course, you don’t care, but I happen to LIKE your husband and have as you well know and have seen, a very low tolerance for mental defectives and cretins. Have you NO empathy and compassion for MY blood pressure? I have to ACTUALLY listen to your beloved’s comments on various games in particular that place in Yewtaw County, wherein IF the school’s team wins, then their testimonies are “validated” and when they lose, as they will this evening, those poor people will wonder why the Almighty “allowed” BYZoo to lose.
    No your husband isn’t “cheating”, you are HIGH MAINTENANCE. He needs his batteries recharged from time to time watching a third tier school play high school teams to “win”. It makes him feel a bit better about being a gradyouate of that insitution(which I also believe is YOUR alma mater as well?????) At least go in from time to time this evening and just ask, “Honey, how bad is the beating?” Iy will make him feel sooooo much better to know that you are giving the illusion of actually caring who might win. But, I digress. (hehehehhe, I said butt…) -that’s an inside joke folks.Still love you all, eventhough you ARE HM(that’s high maintenance not Her Majesty) you still are ours….sort of,well, OK, ours.

  9. annie valentine says:

    I removed the Obama post because this blog has one purpose and one purpose alone: to entertain and (hopefully) lighten the atmosphere in general.

    I’m not here to make a political statement, shame on me for abusing my poor blog unjustly. Personally, it’s not my place to make serious noise, I should stick to what I know well: potty training, marriage (questionable, I know), and laundry tips.

    But in case you’re interested, I did find a copy of the upcoming speech here. It made me feel so much better.

    • Youknowwho says:

      You need not fell any “shame” on abusing anything” Madame. I still think you should have used THAT in your column. It was very well written.

  10. Haha – read the link about the Obama thing. Too funny!

  11. My hubby likes video games (but I play with him and his friends. I’m the cool wife that plays and the only girl in our group of 8). Lucky for me though he doesnt like to watch sports on tv. At least with the video games i’ts random and not really something to schedule around–like games. Some hubbys definitely handle it better than others. Such a cute post. You’re wonderful.

  12. Thanks for commenting! I sure get a kick out of you! And yep I did do my layout! And I’m glad you like it! 🙂

  13. annie valentine says:

    BYU just beat #3 Oklahoma and I think I’ve officially been usurped.

  14. I came back hunting for the ‘Obama and his first cousin Hitler post’ that I’d read a few days ago. Now it’s gone. Maybe you pulled it off after the internet was set ablaze from all the controversial replies. Which might be for the best, since I was about to add mine to your internet burning fire. Comparing Obama to Hitler? That’s not even funny. Every politician kisses babies, makes empty promises, and does a feel-good PR speach in elementary schools. Obama is no different. But he’s no Hitler either.

  15. I wonder if this is how my husband feels.

  16. My name is April and I am a college football widow.

  17. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. That’s what I say. And why I spend a lot of time watching football this time of year. I actually love the BYU games, but I will watch the others just to be with the husband. 🙂