She’s taking over my life.

I feel horrible. I am an awful, horrible, terrible terrible mother (who’s having a terrible terrible week).

Why did nobody warn me that raising girls is so very different than raising boys? I’m serious, I can’t even pull up my pants without help from her. My house is a wreck, and I’ve been trying so hard to clean it this week. Why are my efforts futile? Because of her. She thinks she’s the boss of the universe.

When I get out the vacuum, she wants to vacuum with me. Do you have any idea how long it takes to push the vacuum over nine square feet of carpet when you’re only 21 months old? Or what it’s like to load a dishwasher when you’ve got a thirty pound piece of bossiness standing on the door taking everything out?

(Let me pause a moment to put her in time out before she breaks my lap top, because of course, we have to blog together.)

And I made the mistake of getting my sewing machine out this week. The problem with sewing projects is that they take time. You can’t keep yanking things out and packing them up again, especially when my sewing moments are few and far between. But I find that if I don’t remove the power cord after each and every use, Martha Stewart comes in and tries to reupholster the couch.

On a totally unrelated note, I’ve been whiling away the wee hours surfing ebay. In fact, I just got my kids the coolest Christmas present ever, thanks to a suggestion from my niece, Kelly. I bought an old vintage Fisher Price record player from 1978, plus a ton of old records for kids, including Strawberry Shortcake and Batman and Robin.

And if you’ve got any garage sales in your neighborhood this weekend, might I suggest you hit them up for your toddlers before the good stuff is gone? I try to do a lot of my Christmas shopping for them this time of year, getting the good stuff second-hand (or twice loved, as I like to think of it). Thriftiness is a virtue, and makes the hunt so much fun.


  1. You really need to exploit this and start making her do the actual dishes and sewing. It’s never too young for kids to start doing hard, manual labor.

  2. I never want girls. Really seriously. I have all sisters, I’m all girled out.
    Did you know I am the yard sale queen. QUEEN. Everything in my house, all my kids toys are yard sales. I’m just really thrifty like that. Christmas for the boys is done! I’m glad to hear someone else sing their praises, most people just look at me like I’m crazy.

  3. *sigh* two year old girls. hm.
    I had my girls first, and didn’t know better – but now, oh, baby, I feel it… because boys are easy. Messy? Yup. Violent? You betcha. But easy. Simple. And they always love their mommies, right? Not like the little angelic princesses who say “I’m going to be a mommy, but not like you. I will be a pretty mommy.”
    Gotta love ’em.

  4. Holy fun christmas present! That is so neat! In a related note, I am now singing, “BATMAN, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na BATMAN”

  5. Face it, Annabelle, the Bug is possessed. I am reminded of her “possession” while she was hollering at me during Sacrament Meeting on Sunday. Right before she launched into her rendition of “Mommy, it’s GONNA be MY WAY!” in her unique faux-hysterical shrieks that pass for what might otherwise be lilting sonnets.
    Face it, the Bug IS possessed. Look at who her mentors are, The Brothers Grim.(not the literary Grimm-they really can be GRIM)
    You do actually OWN her until she reaches the age of 18 which might help you to understand that you are legally responsible for her acts in public,in private, in civil and criminal actions until she reaches 18. Then like magic POOF! The evil child will dissapear and Mummsy’s little angel will pop out.
    Yeah, I’m not buying that line of bovine excrement either.
    She’s flat out possessed. Better learn to live with her demonic outbursts of creativity, or make sure that the neighbors small animals don’t wind up in her bedroom as a “science project”.
    Everytime I see the Bug,I want to break out in the one song that reminds me of her, from Phantom of the Opera……”Prima Donna”. Suits her to a T, she being possessed and all. It’s only a matter of time before she has her brothers being her own private Thug Squad, handling matters of personal affront at school, church,the neighborhood, won’t THAT be fun? Just think, if Daddy teaches her to shoot, then she can be all PMSy and have a gun too. Yep, your life as you thought it would be is over. Get used to it. Reality is all a figment of someone else’s imagination.

  6. Ah-the Fischer Price records. Love those—what a great idea!

    Good luck with the small girl…I’d like to tell you we grow out of it, but let’s not kid ourselves.

  7. annie valentine says:

    Holy cow. I just saw my yearly horoscope. Here’s what it says. “Try to understand a child who never ceases to be naughty. If you entertain turbulent relationships, they may very well provoke storms. You’ll see increased risks of insomnia.”

    My life. In a nut shell.

  8. I love ebay! And I just SCORED the Ray Charles singers Summertime and Spring is Here records. Plus all 3 Million Dollar Sellers. All for less than $15 including shipping. Now if I could only find the Winter one. I know your mom has it and I may have to hit her up for a new copy. My old tape stinks. If you want a copy of the Spring and Summer ones, email me. You’ll love the songs…

    About Junie. Well, I totally know what you are saying about boys and girls being different. But,because you know me, you probably can understand that I am doing just fine with my bossy princess who loves to shop and clean house and having a tougher time understanding a rambunctious, run-his-head-into-your gut-to-show-he-loves-you boy!

  9. WOW! I am so sorry! And THAT is why boys are easier! Wait till she hits her hormone years! YIKERS!

  10. I don’t have little girls but my boys do slide notes under the bathroom door when I take too long.
    Don’t you love Fischer Price? Especially their older stuff. Gold.

  11. Oh my gosh!!!!! That’s my life!! But it’s my boy! He’s the SAME way and he’s ALWAYS at the computer…like the kid does acrobatic, monkey moves climbing UP into my lap while I’m at the computer!! I was picking up up his train tracks so I could vacuum and I went to get the vacuum and the train tracks were BACK! *sigh* At least he’s a cute little bugger!

  12. Five. I have 5. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Are you getting the picture? ;o

  13. OK your problem is you are not giving her good enough distractions. When you want to get something else accomplished you must sacrifice something – open your jewelry box in arms reach, put a bag of flour on the floor, or better yet a trail of chocolate chips leading to your lipstick…Trust me it will work.

    You are like Tom Sawyer and make painting the fence look like the most fun ever. Stop whistling while you work and being so cheery…

  14. You are not a terrible mom! Just try to enjoy the ride as much as possible. I would give anything to have my children with me right now. Even when they drove me completely crazy! They are 13 and 15 and I had to leave them with their dad in Utah. My husband had to take a job transfer with his job or not have a job and so we have had to recently relocate to Montana. My kids absolutely refused and chose to stay with their dad. I can’t blame them really. They are in high school and are very happy. And their lives have been so disrupted the last 3 years because of the divorce. I had to do what I thought was best for them, and let them stay where they are happy. It’s just really ####### me to have a premature empty nest. So… enjoy every second you have. They grow up so fast!

  15. I remember those times!!! I always tried to get a toy that matched the job I was doing . . . a toy vacuum, a small broom, the little tykes kitchen . . . . I even cut a cord off of an old computer keyboard and let the little ones bang on that while I was having computer time.

    Ditto to the above comment . . . ENJOY (which I know you really are!) these times. They do grow up and don’t need you or want to spend time anymore with you, or do something crazy like move across the country.

  16. I have to forbid my daughter from talking at the breakfast table or she’ll boss us around so much she’s late for school. And, on many many MANY STINKING, occasions I have said the words, “Quit bossing everyone around – that’s my job.” To be honest though, my boys cause me much more grief/stress/anger/tiredness/frustration that my girls. Go figure.

  17. You are not alone, and all of the above comments are great suggestions.

  18. ha ha. i just don’t sew anymore. Not any projects that take me longer than one evening to do, because i can’t step away from the sewing machine for a minute!

    And Harrison HAS to help me cook. and I love the idea of it, but he spends so much time dipping his fingers in the soup, or throwing in whatever he finds on the countertop that it is NOT HELPFUL AT ALL!

  19. I have 3 daughters. I understand you perfectly. 🙂

  20. Yeah, “Try to understand a child who never ceases to be naughty. If you entertain turbulent relationships, they may very well provoke storms. You’ll see increased risks of insomnia.” This words may be useful for you.