Oh, there’s definitely a hater out there.

Seriously, we’re talking hate, people.

Funny, but even though I prepared myself for some negative feedback from today’s article, it still kind of sucks to have someone hate me. Do not ask me what this person has going on in their life to make them so prickly, but whatever it is they’ve singled me out as their bullseye.

Personally, I believe there’s nothing wrong with disagreeing with someone, but getting all nasty and personal attacky? Good thing I know Jesus loves me or I’d be in bad shape right about now.

Check out this week’s Top of Utah Voices article, then read the commentsΒ  (especially the oldest one). I would say ouch to the ugly one if I thought it had any validity, but since this person seems to have mistaken me with a heathen drug mother, I’ll let it go. In fact, I’ll do one better. I’m totally going to pray for that person right now. How awful to have that kind of yuckiness inside.


  1. I just wanted to make sure you saw that our 40 week pregnancy photo (on my blog today) featured one of your t-shirts. πŸ™‚

  2. Oh no she di’nt!! I am totally with you on this! This is something “new”, as my boys who have now graduated NEVER brought home work sheets. I made a comment about it!

  3. That’s truly sad to me that someone can get so enraged. It’s one thing to feel passionately about something and it’s another thing to attack other people’s beliefs. I’m down with diversity but if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s mean people.

  4. I absolutely loved reading your article and it is absolutely the truth! I also have felt my children never have time to be kids. Now they are teenagers and they still don’t have time for friends during the school week. I remember being so overwhelmed with their First grade homework and it did not get better. Fifth grade was even worse. Anyway… just wanted you to know I agree with you. And don’t let that angry mean hater person get you down. You Rock!

  5. Anyone incapable of making a valid point without stooping to personal attacks on strangers has very little argument to begin with; not to mention an attitude unlikely to win any agreement from more personable people! (…also, anyone who quotes Obama as if he were the Bible isn’t worth fussing over, in my opinion πŸ˜‰ )

  6. Well, clearly your faulty education comes through your article with all of those sentence structure and verbage problems, and the fact that you didn’t even know that cows don’t actually have to be taken care of because they’re all robots. So CLEARLY, you’re the idiot and not the person who commented about your ME time. And seriously, Annie, get off your butt and do something with your life. I mean, come on, writing for two different publications AND a blog, plus raising 3 kids and keeping track of your super hot secret spy husband (that IS what he does, right?) It’s about time you stopped focusing on Days of Our Lives and make your kid do more worksheets.

    P.S. I also hate first grade homework, it’s pretty ridiculous. However, I do love my daughters school because they try to bring in new approaches to learning and incorporate a lot of music and art, which I think all kids need in school. Even if my insane (and outspoken/sometimes hateful) sister thinks her school is evil because it’s a magnet school and you have to win a lottery to even get your kid in. So, I firmly believe that there are better ways to educate kids without sucking away childhood.

  7. Crazy. As an ex teacher I really do not believe in homework for tiny tots, the school day is long enough. Home time is fun time, play time, and a bit of helping around the house time.

  8. Girl, I am struggling with this still! Ever since S started 1st grade. With S being in 4th grade and M in 2nd grade now, I don”t look forward to homework time! Just wait until you have no idea what your child is studying because there are all these new terms for what you studied 20+years ago and things have changed. Your article was great. You didn’t attack the teachers, just stated that 2 hours of homework is not acceptable for a 6 year old. It took M 1 hour to do his spelling last night, not including his math and reading. In some ways I just want to let them skip homework sometimes (oh, I do that already!) but then I must not be teaching my child responsibility. Do what works best for your family is my motto. Thanks for making me feel better today! After last night, I was beginning to think I was a mean mom to make my child sit and do his homework. Loser moms, unite!

  9. It’s hard to take someone’s point of view seriously when they resort to personal attacks instead of sticking to the issue at hand. I feel bad for someone who has to take things so personally.

  10. People can be so cruel! You handled it very classy!!!

  11. Your hater only proved him/herself as uneducated as she accused you of being: He/She failed to identify correctly the thesis sentence and the conclusion. Oh well. Maybe he/she didn’t do all his/her homework. πŸ™‚

  12. I am just feeling bad for your son’s teacher right about now…

    I am just wondering how she is feeling that you published an article in the newspaper about how horrible her homework packets are. As a teacher, I would be offended if one of my parents decided to publish a newspaper article about my teaching style instead of talking to me personally. I know that with a lot of things in schools, my “teaching hands” are tied. I have to do what the administrators want, and sometimes not what I want. Yes, there are times that I can shut my door, and do what I believe is right for students, but there are sometimes when I have to follow school policy even though I don’t want to (i.e. spelling tests).

    And while I do agree with you on the point, I am just not sure of the avenue. My First grade students get 20 minutes of reading at home and an occasional simple project involving science or math that closely follows what we are doing in the classroom, but no more than 1 a month. But not all schools are like mine.

    I just feel bad for his teacher…..she is going to find out about the article……teachers talk.

  13. Wow, you are really making rethink moving and appreciate our school district. They really seem to get the balance thing. Even as a 6th grader, my daughter still rarely has homework in any of her classes. I don’t know if it’s a policy or just an unwritten thing, but aside from reading (and practicing writing your name), the only thing that comes home is work that didn’t get finished during class and a very rare project like poster contests or making a house out of a milk carton. They work hard while they are at school and that’s enough. I think balance may be one of the most important lessons a kid can learn.

  14. annie valentine says:

    Marie, you make an important point. I love Harrison’s teacher, it’s the policy that seems to be everywhere I disagree with. I’m not quite sure what to do here, do I send her cookies? Tell her it’s nothing personal? She’s just a first grade teacher doing what all the other first grade teachers do, I can’t blame her for that, and I think she’s a wonderful teacher.

    • Annie, I agree with Marie.
      If your concern is with the policy maybe you should address the district, that is your parental right, just as it is your right to state your opinion in the paper. Though it is your right, I don’t know how effective it will be in changing the homework policy. Wouldn’t the more personal and human way have been to speak to the school personnel directly. If I were this teacher I would be significantly hurt and feel that a parent teacher trust is gone. I doubt cookies will help, if anything that would be a second slap in the face to this teacher. And though you don’t state his or her (the teachers) name specifically in your article, as a reader I took your position as significant anger and distrust between you and the school and the 1st grade teachers specifically.

      • annie valentine says:

        Yes Andrea, I was afraid of that. The thing is, there are moms everywhere who think they are alone in these feelings. I didn’t write the article to publicly humiliate anyone, I wrote it so people would know that there are parents out there who are frustrated with the system.

        If I had a problem with his teacher specifically, darn right I would have taken care of it by now. Instead, we’re doing our best with her curriculum and making it work. Iit’s the national policy that’s hitting first graders everywhere that I disapprove of.

        Unfortunately, it’s hard to write an opinion column without taking a stand. I think you’re right about our relationship and I don’t quite know what to do about it. My intention was not to call one person on the carpet, I’m writing about the trend.

        And I think I’ve screwed this relationship up in the process, right or wrong. Today kind of sucks.

  15. I haven’t ever commented on your blog but have secretly been reading. But this time I just have to say something. I think you are 100% right about what you said in your article! My mom is a 2nd grade teacher and I see all the hard work she puts in to her class. However she also is absolutely against taking away childhood and hates all the homework they are required to send home. I remember running around with all my friends and playing and having fun after school as a child, what happened to that being normal? I have actually started considering doing homeschool with my own children because of how things are going with public education.

  16. I am so jealous! I want a hater! But that might cut into my “me” time.

  17. Sorry about the hating! I’m looking forward to reading the article…and I’m definitely looking forward to Biggest Loser tonight!

  18. Read the article—and those nasty comments! I’m glad there were people that took the time to understand your article and defend you! I LOVED elementary school-and the thought of six year olds already learning to hate it cuz of homework is frightening. Keep sending out your opinions:)

  19. Oh Annie! I’m sorry. People are mean. While I may be one of those parents who makes the other parents look bad (seriously, my kid eats up the extra work), I have had other issues and now how to feels to have people attack you without knowing the whole situation.

    This is what I tell myself. YOU are his parent. And YOU know what is best for him. You have seen him his whole life. I don’t understand the extra sheets of work to the poor kid. I have actually told a teacher that we won’t waste time with books that are too easy or homework that doesn’t need to be done. And a lot of the work doesn’t seem like repetition to cement knowledge in your mind.

    I can’t believe they attacked your education. You don’t have to sound like a pompous jerk to be smart….

    Boy I hope this made sense. Love you Annie. I would still love to see you again Ms. Super Busy. lol

    • annie valentine says:

      Man girl, you’ve had one tough year. I heard about the nasty note and the stupid teacher who put your baby in the back of the room. This parenting stuff is so hard sometimes. I hope I haven’t permanently screwed my relationship with Harrison’s teacher up. I can’t help it, mothers need to be heard and I’m in a position to share.

      Anyway, I hope things look up for you guys, especially your sweet boy. Lots of love and good feelings toward him, and pray really hard. This is an important year and it sounds like he needs a little tenderness. Good thing he’s got great parents because life can be tough.

      Take care, annie

  20. You know, I think it’s true, first graders are SIX YEARS OLD. They are barely not babies! They do not need homework. My mother is a first grade teacher and to be sure, she does not send homework home. It’s not necessary.

    And perhaps cookies to Harrison’s teacher is a good idea. πŸ™‚

  21. Just schedule a conference and talk to her about it. You might find out she’s among the teachers frustrated with the situation too and she’ll probably appreciate the honesty.

  22. Well, your hater lost all credibility with me when he/she quoted Obama.

  23. In Speech and Debate class we were taught that the first person to name-call loses.

    I disagree about the whole “me” time thing being a horrible desire. You should have “me” time. Every person needs it. Have you seen the mothers who live and die by their child’s pageant schedule? Balance is the key and I don’t think you’re out of whack there.

    Your child also needs “me” time. Desperately. They need to be a kid, to have pleasant memories to recall when life gets difficult. I didn’t read that you wanted to be away from your son; I did read a plea to have your son spend more time with you and his friends and learning life-skills (yes, taking out the garbage is a life-skill unless I am the only one who has heard about the Collyer brothers).

    I’m glad the professor from Weber emailed you. More isn’t better, sometimes it’s just more.

    As previous comments have mentioned, the avenues to resolve this issue may vary, but the result you (and probably the teachers as well) are looking for are spot on.

    Good for you.