About baby number four…


Actually, that last line is rather deceiving. It leaves the impression that there is room in my life right now for another child. I assure you, there is not. No, not, nada, I am loaded to the rear bumper with the three I have.

In fact, I keep wishing my daughter would just start her period already. Since she’s only 23 months, it looks like I might as well throw back a bourbon and and settle in for the ride. (It’s really a shame that I don’t drink. She’s made me reconsider a lot of things about my life lately, like why I even buy toilet paper, or keep pin cushions around.)

And speaking of PMS, what’s that all about? I had no idea that I was PMS Prone, but let me tell you, the past few months I’m like a walking rubber band. You know, all loosey goosey and easy going, pliable and stretchy like, then SNAP! All I want to do is inflict pain on those around me for an entire week.

(WARNING: If you are about to suggest any kind of medication or other nonsensical treatment for this syndrome, I highly recommend you keep the comment to yourself. I’m not personally in control of my reply button at the moment, She is.)

Plus, while watching the June Bug torment her baby cousin the other day, the Spirit witnessed to me that the reason I don’t have a fourth child yet is really quite clear. She would kill it.

And so, I leave you with this fertility update: no baby news is good news. And while my eggs are aging faster than a good cheddar, timing really is everything. Besides, I’m only having one more before getting the plumbing double knotted, so I’m not really in that much of a hurry.

(But for future reference, I’m sooo done with all of Jason’s out-of-town business trips. They’re proving to be extremly inconvenient.)


  1. I have a friend with two small kids, and honestly, I pray for her sake and her kids, she never has more. It’s important to know your limits. She is so overwhelmed and never has anything positive to say about motherhood. It makes me sad.

  2. Sounds like your daughter is like my niece these days. I love the little girl to pieces, but “destroying angel” is a VERY accurate title for her.

  3. When the time comes and you’re ready to try again for number 4, may I suggest whipped cream, blindfolds, cowgirl boots with spurs, and a little Village People, YMCA, playing in the background.
    (never tried this myself, but if it works..you’re welcome.)

  4. Oh, PMS totally sucks. I experienced my first bout of since having the kiddo, and it was definitely torturous. I seriously thought I was pregnant because, who on earth has PMS that crazy??

  5. Camille- HAHAHAHAHA!
    Annie- Bad day huh? MEh- we all have them. Hang in there and the best BEST fix for any PMSing is chocolate. And lots of it. Send hubby a text saying something along the lines of “bring home chocolate tonight or someone is getting hurt!”

  6. PMS, no fun, been there, done that. Stopping at 3 because they are a handful and they are all I can take, been there, done that. Right now I am 11 week into having number 4 after a VERY long gap. By the time I give birth it will be a 10 year gap!! It took a long while for my husband to agree to this one, and a long while for it agree to come down.

  7. PMS…..hmmmm….so glad it’s been so long that I can’t remember that roller coaster ride! Although I do work with women who make my insides twinge monthly….sorry!

  8. I used to tease that my daughter had PMS for 8 years before she even got her period. TEASE!, I KNOW it is true!!! And then just wait until you start cycling together. . . . . Lincoln had to play referee more than once, or my lovely daughter and I would have probably killed (tongue in cheek there, people!) each other!

  9. Amen! What is it with this time of year? My husband (who has rarely traveled in the past) has been home a total of two weeks in the last month. And the pace isn’t slowing down any time soon. Thank heaven for daylight savings, and early bedtimes, and good blogs to read.

    • annie valentine says:

      Tell me about it, and when he is home he’s so busy trying to catch up at work that he doesn’t make it home for dinner. If I wasn’t so awesome I’d worry there was another woman.

  10. That rubber band analogy is perfect for how I feel lately. Loose and then SNAP! And I seem to take a sadistic pleasure in the wounding until about 3 seconds after when I see what a monster I’m being. There’s part of my brain screaming “NO! Don’t you know what you’re doing?!” as I’m doing it and the sadistic part that says, “Yes! I know EXACTLY what I’m doing! Gwa ha ha ha!” and then the guilty part takes over for the rest of the day but you can’t understand what she’s saying because it’s all sobbing.

  11. Best. Rant. Ever.

  12. I was going to email you and see how the peeing on the stick thing was going. Now I know. All I can say is 3 1/2 yr gap between my last two and still wondering if Kelsi will smother the baby someday while I am not looking.

  13. Just a thought: I bet if either one of your parents knew that their babysitting might lead to another grandchild, maybe you could fly out and surprise your hubby on one of his business trips.

    As for me, we just got rid of most of our baby stuff, and the crib is now broken down in the garage waiting for a new home. This of course means that I’ll get pregnant soon and God will laugh out loud. If you hear it, you’ll know what’s up.

    • annie valentine says:

      My parents have 37 regular grandkids and currently about two dozen great grand kids (that number is kind of exploding these days). I think they’re kind of hoping one of us will stop already. (Actually, I’m the last of the last and this will be the last, so they probably don’t mind so much.)

  14. Oof. That is all I can add to this. Oof.

  15. Hey, I had 5 kids and it’s a piece of cake. Seriously, it has nothing to do with the medications I was on and the therapists I saw and the voices I heard in my head ————nothing. easy. (tee.hee)
    even though I threatend to bury them in the backyard , I was a great mom

    Hey, only YOU can know when enough is enough. My daughter only has her 2 girls and even though I tease her about “one more” she KNOWS it would not be in her best interests ——-

    I had my tubes tied after 5 ——those voices told me too.

    PMS (pre menstral syndrome) just moves into PMS (pathetic menopause syndrome) the joys of womanhood

  16. Just so you know, you’re one of my favorite bloggers.

    Even when I’m PMSing.

  17. Annie, you brighten my day!

  18. ON the bright side, as your eggs get older, you are more likely to release more than one on ovulation, two or three at a time even…and that increases your chances for…that’s right, twins and triplets. Wouldn’t that be exciting to double your family to 6! Definitely keep waiting, it will be so worth it.

  19. There is time, girl, there is time. From the looks of your sweet pict, I don’t peg you past 30. I know, in LDS terms (yes, I know, I am one), it’s near grandmotherly to reach 30 and still be birthing. But really, you have time.

    Hugs, love your skinny jeans while you’re not preggy and constipated, and pass the good cheddar.

  20. PS: didn’t mean to sound snarky, can’t figure out how to delete that comment, drats!

    Just that you are beautiful amazing writer mama wife. enjoy the here, the now. And the baby/babies(?) waiting will come, in time. When you are ready.


  21. Some of us just have to be patient. I just want one and its taking me 2 years to get me to this same place…and I am still trying to be patient.

  22. This is why there is SIX years between my #3 child and #4. God knew I would runaway and join the Tibetan Monks if I had her any sooner.

    (Besides, I enjoy her WAY more now that I’m older and not such a FREAKER. Usually. )

  23. It’s Mother. We have 41 grandchildren and 30 greats and Kristin scares me.

  24. I just keep laughing at all of these comments. I have 3 girls (and one boy-poor thing), the youngest just turned 5 and PMS is alive and thriving at our home!!!
    I KNOW chocolate was discovered to counter the affects of PMS, so always keep some around.