Do Vampires like white meat or dark meat?

I am dying for a good book to read that’s not too thinky but not too flakey. I’m not really in the mood for something sad, but I understand that sometimes a little grief makes good literature. Also vampires make good literature.

Speaking of vampires, did you see It yet? I’m going tonight at 5:00 with a few other emotionally stunted mothers. Actually, I’m going with the girlfriend who told me I had to read this book about vampires. She’s not only one of my nearest and dearest, but I owe her my entire collection of good literature for making that brilliant suggestion.  How does one repay such a debt? I’m giving her a T-shirt.

And personally, as a writer, I’m proud to stand up for Stephanie Meyer and give her due credit. The girl threw down something brilliant, her success is no accident. I swear, her uber clean yet slightly bloody romances did more for my own personal romantic inclinations than anything I’ve read in a long time. I swear I pictured Jason with hair for an entire week after reading book two. (WHY DIDN’T SHE PICK JACOB?)

Besides, the chances are slim that any of the infatuated teenagers will be able to find a vampire or a werewolf to date, so I can live with freaky Bella and her unhealthy relationships. (I will concede the point that Bella is way better as a vampire. She’s such an irritating human.)

BTW, if you live in Utah, my Stupid Twilight T-shirts are for sale at the Ogden Quilted Bear for under $20. Just saying.

Have you ever noticed how Christmas offers all kinds of child appropriate activities, like count down calendars? There are a  million ways to build up to the Big Finish, and parents everywhere do their part.

But what about Thanksgiving? Check out this week’s column to see what my family is doing in preparation for Turkey Day. We’ve got less than a week, if you haven’t started anything there’s still time to get cooking. (Or brining.)


  1. I will be going in a couple of weeks. I want to wait until my chances of being stabbed by a teenager, for laughing, go down.

  2. I am not sold on the “uber clean”-ness of the Twilight series. I enjoyed all the books until the last one turned into a bona fide romance novel. I am interested in watching New Moon…but I’m a little worried that the movies are just going to end up worse than the last book. And naked ocean swims/lingerie/shredded feather pillows may be all nice and dandy between me and my husband, but I don’t want to read about them in a book. And I don’t think it is a good thing that every girl on the planet between the ages of 10 and 62 has read these books.

    • annie valentine says:

      I’ll agree with that, I would never let my teen read book four. I wonder how much they’ll overstate the romance in that movie. Think it will be R?

  3. I just read a GREAT book by Mark Helprin, Memoirs from Antproof Case. It was brilliant. Best book I’ve read in a long time. Not too thinky, and written brilliantly!

  4. I’m going tonight-and I’m really excited!

    About books—any of Shannon Hale’s books (except Austenland) I have REALLY enjoyed. The Goose Girl series in particular, but I also loved Princess Academies. They are just very sweet, enjoyable books.

    I also just read a series by someone with the last name Chima. The first book is called The Warrior Heir. I’m embarrassed to admit I read this stuff sometimes—but it definitely kept me entertained. So, there ya go. Definitely NOT to thinky, and I don’t think they’re flakey either:)

  5. See, I am not a huge Twilight fan (I know – I will probably get struck by lightning or something). I read the books and thought that they were entertaining, a good Saturday afternoon read. But I don’t think it’s worth all the hoop-la/”fanpire” craze. Don’t get me wrong, I thought it was a creative story line and it was nice to read something that didn’t require censoring. But, I couldn’t stand Bella. She’s such a whiney girl – I understand that she’s in High School, but r-e-a-l-l-y?!? And it might sound snobbish, but I really was bothered how the author kept using the same descriptive phrases over and over again for each character (just a pet peeve of mine).

    I saw the first movie, and was SO disappointed. (My mind makes things up so much better than a movie director and my “Edward” was WAY cuter!) 🙂 So, I don’t think I’ll watch New Moon…maybe when it comes out on Redbox.

    As for books – I just read The Great and Terrible series by Chris Stewart (LDS – retired pilot). I am kind of behind on the LDS author circuit so you may have already read these. If you haven’t, they are great! Fun read, lots going on, and it does make you think…but in a good way. First book was good, and the rest (6 total) were awesome! I really enjoyed them. Even got my hubby reading them! 🙂

    And I like reading non-fiction too (I am sooo boring!) Band of Brothers by Ambrose is my all-time favorite. Love his writing style and the content/research couldn’t get any better. Also there is a book called “All But My Life”, by Gerda Weissman. Not great as far as writing skill, but that’s because she wrote it and it’s her life story. She was in a concentration camp, and ended up marrying the American soldier that rescued her. Very inspiring, makes one appreciate life.

    • annie valentine says:

      Ooh! I keep hearing about the Great and Terrible, thanks for the reminder. And there are moments when I’d like to shoot Bella before they can make her immortal. She’s way better as a vampire, since she’s possibly the most irritating human I’ve ever read about. And yet I still love the books…

  6. Oh dear. I’m so not a Twilight Fan. I’ll give Stephanie Meyer the credit of being a good story teller… but a good writer? I think that’s a bit too far. How many times does Edward have to ‘dazzle’ Bella? And seriously, Bella was possibly the most annoying character I’ve read about in a long time.

    I’ll probably see the movie eventually, but the first one was HORRIBLE!! I don’t have much hope for the second one… except for Jacob. He was the only redeeming part of the whole book. And seriously, Jasper looks like he’s constipated ALL THE TIME. Ha!

    But I don’t begrudge those who love it 🙂

  7. Also… Robert Pattinson??? Really? They couldn’t drudge up anyone cuter than that? Just my humble opinion 🙂

  8. My daughter and DIL went and saw New Moon premier last night LOVED IT.
    I read all the books but did not like Eclipse as it weirded me out.

    I bet they would want one of your t-shirts, so I’ll have to send them to Quilted Bear.
    I am coming to Utah Dec. 11———–want to go to Quilted Bear. love it.
    miss my kids and grandkids and Utah stuff

    and I haven’t experienced any I Hate Mormon stuff while here, going through withdrawals. (not)

    also Canadian thanksgiving LACKS the spirit of American thanksgiving –or maybe I haven’t Settled into it yet.

    are you pregnant yet (tee,hee)

  9. I loved your column this week! A couple of years ago I had had enough of the world NOT celebrating Thanksgiving and took matters into my own hands. We ended up with a bare construction paper made turkey. Every time the girls did a service they got to put a feather on the turkey. I let them write the service on the feather before putting it up. It was a fun twist on the holiday and much more fun that the girls were actually being nice to each other (only in order to put up a feather, mind you.)

  10. She should of picked Jacob. Just sayin’.

    Excellent article this week, Annie. (Every week.) That man was right. I’m sure you-know-who (Not Voldemort) would like us to quit Thanksgiving altogether.

    I think I’ll have a countdown too.

  11. The Hunger Games. You MUST read it. I can’t tell you what it’s about…it’s a bit of a weird concept but sooo addicting and easy to read. It’s also the beginning of a series…so something to look forward to. The second book is called….crap what’s it called??? Sorry having a moment there. Catching Fire is the second one. Soo good Annie…sooooo good!

  12. I’ve finally decided it’s once more time to grace your blog with my presence. Bet you’re feelin’ lucky now…

  13. I’m looking for a good read too. I have heard The Hunger Games to be really good. So what day does the finale fall on? I’ll be there!

  14. p.s. Ian has been asking to see Harrison.