Just another way to get a man’s attention

I went to the grocery store today and got two looks.

Now, normally this would be a thrilling thing. Normally, two looks would get me through until my next birthday. But unfortunately they weren’t “that” kind of look, (you know, the look you hope to get when you actually fix your hair for the first time in a month?) they were the other kind. Not really a look, more like a horrified stare. Why? Because my friends, I have a zit.

This is not one of those easy to hide little monthly bumps that periodically visits my chin, this baby is Mt. St. Helens, circa 1978. And it’s right next to my nose, the focal point of my face. It’s so big, I think it actually has five heads, and they’re all staying just below blast off range. The skin is stretched so tight I think I might actually get stretch marks.

And as for the looks, there’s a double take, then there’s a double zit take. With the double zit take, the gazer kind of squints one eye and tilts his head to get a better look at the crater in the center of your face. Then he quickly looks away and pretends like he wasn’t just staring down the view from Kilamanjaro.

It’s easy to catch them, because they’re so busy staring at your zit they don’t usually realize you’re looking at their eyes.

It almost made me wish I’d worn a padded push-up bra just to distract the greater public from my pimple. (Frankly, pimple is far too kind a word for this bad boy.)

And so, out of complete and total desperation, I decided five minutes ago to pull out the Windex. That’s right, I’m going to try a Big Fat Greek Trick and put some amonia on this baby.

I’ll keep you posted. And no, I’m not attaching a photo.


  1. oh no! i hate those pimples. let us know about the windex! I’m curious. I use tea tree oil, and adam won’t even cuddle me at night it stinks so bad.

  2. Huh-windex? Let me know if that works.
    Did you catch Biggest Loser last night?

    • annie valentine says:

      Is it weird that I was sad to see Tracy go? Did you see how good that girl looks? She’s definitely a contender for the at home prize.

  3. AHHH MY EYES!!!!! (I haven’t seen last night’s BL yet!!)

    Let me know if that Windex thing works for you, my hubby gets these soemtimes and I Just want to say to him, “POP THE DA*N thing already!!”

  4. I really need to see a picture to make a determination for myself.

  5. That is so funny ——–well they way you wrote it is funny. The ZIT is not funny. I hate it when I get a Zit (but once you get my age you get very few zits, but are replaced by wrinkles and sagging things………so pick your poison)

    Maybe you should wear one of those Islamic face cover things, and then no on will see it, they will just worry if you are a terrorist.

  6. Let us know if Windex actually works.

    I swear, I’ll be 36 next months, and I STILL get zits. Someone lied when they said it was just a teenage problem.

  7. Oooh, Wendy has the right idea. We should all go out with those sari things over our faces – then we can compare who finds the greatest fabrics, instead of who’s face still thinks she’s seventeen!

  8. Kim Haynes says:

    Oh my gosh that is the funniest thing I have read in a long time.I even read it to Summer because her computer is down.Thank-you,Thank-you,I’m still laughing.Sorry!

  9. I don’t want to agree with everyone, but I have to. I won’t say how old I am, but it is older than those mentioned above, and I still get those dang zits. What the?
    I totally can relate to the stares. I’ve been down sick with my 4 year old for what feels like eternity (5 days and still counting). We’ve emerged occassionally. Well my littlest decided to head butt me Sunday while we were laying on my bed. I have a grose ugly sore on my lip, it looks just like a whammy of a cold sore, and yet it is not. When the injury occurred I had a fat lip, terrible bruises inside my mouth, and of course the split open lip. Only now, each time I see someone, they just look at my lip and I just don’t have the nerve to say it was daughter that hit me!

  10. If you catch anyone staring at you, just look back at them and say “what? wanna picture?” then snear. They’ll get the point.

  11. I seriously want to know the results of that windex thing.

    I hate it when you catch people staring like that. It’s like there’s nothing else around your face. Never mind your cute nose or pretty eyes. It’s just the zit that gets the attention.

  12. I haven’t gotten one of “those” looks in forever.

    You’d get less if you just but a Band-Aid on the sucker.

    Trust me.

  13. This is your mother. Katie has the right idea, tea tree oil. This could be serious–it’s not all that far from your brain dear.

    • annie valentine says:

      Mommy? We need to find your screen name and password. For what it’s worth, the Windex totally works. And how in the heck am I going to find tea tree oil without leaving the house?

  14. ANNIE! Try neosporin. It’s an antibiotic, and well, zits are bacterial. GOOD LUCK!

  15. LOL… the humor and life you put into this post about your zit is so funny! I am sorry about the zit or pimple because they are seriously NO FUN! I am also interested in knowing how the Windex worked.