Post Santa Parenting

Christmas is over.


Seriously, I don’t know about yours, but ours was full of wonderfulness and a few presents. Of course, I didn’t get what I asked Santa for (a blow up doll to sit in the front seat with the kids so I can run irritating errands like going to the post office, etc.), but I did come up with the greatest Santa trick ever.

Harrison got a relatively nice and ridiculously expensive gift (something we can do since Rex and June can still be shopped for at the Ross clearance toy section), a Nintendo DS. But if you ask me, he didn’t really deserve the best gift. The week or two before Christmas I saw an influx of fits and stomping, and I was tempted on more than one occasion to pop him one.

And so, after all the gifts were opened and he was feeling real good like, I said the following:

“Wow, Harrison, you got some great stuff. But it’s too bad you weren’t as good as you could have been. You should have heard what Santa was going to bring you.”

This got his attention.

“What do you mean?” his little 6-year-old self asked, “there was something better?”

I got all conspiratorial, looked both ways to make sure Santa wasn’t listening, and said, “If only you hadn’t thrown so many fits, he was gonna bring you a real motorcycle!” To which he gasped and choked and looked at his lump of DS with slight distain and disgust.

I have the feeling next year Santa will have a little more power.

And that, my friends, is brilliant parenting.


  1. I think that a blow up doll could really create some issues in your marriage. 🙂

  2. Maybe instead of a blowup doll, you should have a blowup dog. A German Shepherd perhaps? That way, no one will dare come near the kids without calling in some kind of law enforcement agency, by which time they arrive with the tranquilizer gun you will be on your merry way! 😉

  3. Funny. I’ll have to remember that.

  4. Or you might end up with my older brother’s scenario where he waited for a motorcycle from Santa every year until he was nearly 40 and just bought one for himself. (My parents are SUPER against motorcycles–think they’re death traps.)

  5. If he has a good memory it won’t be too brilliant for your pocket book!!! (laughs)

  6. That is the best idea ever. Of course, Elijah got a Wii. Doesn’t get much better to my nerdy son than that. Maybe a computer in his room or something….like I would ever do that. lol

  7. Devilish. Clever. Hysterical.

  8. You’re just too smart. Keep reminding him of that this year, or he’ll forget. Maybe it will even help with fits in July. One can only hope.

  9. Yeah, that or he will be really ticked when he doesn’t get a motorcycle!

  10. Evil genius.

  11. Mean spirited, bordering on child abuse, I’m sure the child will end up in therapy for years.

    Don’t you just love being a parent!

    Happy New Year.

  12. You are a brilliant Mommy! Hope he’s not extra good this year and Santa ends up owing him a motorcycle.

    Holiday hugs to one of my favorite blog reads.

  13. Why didn’t you post this BEFORE Christmas so that I could have read it, and then also used it AFTER Christmas? HMMMM? WHY?!! Because it’s brilliant.

  14. Love this post! Thanks for sharing this…..

  15. Wow. Rather devious…. yet effective. Funny article. Whatever works I guess.


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