Dropping the Bomb

Here’s the thing about my husband. He’s not a phone person. He’s also not an emotional person. When you pair the two together, you get very short, neutral phone conversations. They’re not bad, just not colorful. Or exciting. Or particularly stimulating.

(I should mention that he’s way more fun to text with, if he’d only learn how to use the “word” phase and stop typing in each individual letter. Seriously, who still does that? I might listen to tapes on my boom box, but at least I can text and put people in my contact list. Love ya, babe, but take a class.)

So I’m talking to him on the phone yesterday, doing our usual 30-45 second check-in check-out gig. I usually hear from him once or twice a day, depending on how hungry he is for a good dinner. (On really lucky days, he comes home for lunch and a nap.) Being the highly expressive person that I am, talking to my man is kind of like talking to a tree stump. He sits. He absorbs. He does not emote.

“Where’d you go today?” he says.

“I just got out of Costco, blah blah blah blah…” I say.

“Sounds fun.”

“Yeah! Oh, they had the cutest blah blah blah blah…”

“Heading home?”

“On my way, Junie is so blah blah blah blah…”

“Great. Well, theyย  just issued a bomb threat in the building so I have to run. Talk to you later.” Click.

It actually took a second for me to register what he’d said. A bomb threat? Shouldn’t he say he loves me? Is he just trying to get off the phone with me? Is this a test, to see if I actually listen to anything he says?

In the end, the threat was real and he came home. And let me tell you, that bomb made my afternoon. He’s way better in person.



  1. Whoo Hoo!! I’m the first one to reply!
    First of all, the new blog design looks great!
    Second, you casually commenting at the bottom of your post about how “he’s way better in person, and the bomb threat made your afternoon” reminded me. Last night I was telling Mike about Jason coming home for the afternoon Mike goes “So did you have to wait 15 minutes to finish coloring her hair because he was home?” I said “No, but I cleared out of there as quickly as I possibly could!” I know what Jason coming home early means… even if you do have bleach on your hair! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Hahaha. Love that. I think I might call in a bomb threat to work today, just for fun.

  3. Good luck tomorrow Annie. You’re gonna be spectacular.

  4. Just wrote myself a reminder to set my TiVo.

    Bomb threat . . . the stinker.

  5. Wow! I have been gone for a while! Love the new look! Relationships can be so explosive….apparently yours can thrive on a bomb! Way to go!

  6. Well, I don’t know how to test and I don’t have a DVR; but I do plan to tune in. Can’t wait to see you!!

  7. That’s why I love me a good snow storm! Turns out you can’t build roads when it’s snow storming, so home my hubby comes. I guess bomb threats work the same, but that seems a little scarier (we’re so desperate for our mans attention, we take what we can get, huh?)

    P.S. I am still waiting for the post about Studio 5. Thought about you all day yesterday!!!!

  8. I can’t set my DVR—I don’t have one (but at least I know how to do predictive text!). I will however, be setting the recorder on my VHS:)

    • annie valentine says:

      You use a VHS too?? Seriously, you are so awesome. My children are only allowed to handle videos.

  9. Oh my goodness you just described my husband! My favorite line in this blog is easily “He’s way better in person.” I LOVE IT! Thanks for the giggle, and I am so glad you got to spend the remainder of your day with your hubs… ๐Ÿ™‚ Can’t wait to see you on TV tomorrow!

  10. Hilarious story! I hope the next thing we hear is not you being arrested for making bomb threats regularly. Break a leg tomorrow!

  11. I’m so excited about tomorrow! I hope it is online somehwere, as I have to work and don’t have a DVR thingy…..good luck!

  12. My husband is that SAME way on the phone. No bomb threats at his job (although once or twice he was exposed to some serious radiation.)

    Can’t wait for you tomorrow! You’ll do a GREAT job!

  13. My husband is like talking to a treestump as well. Except that he’s a really bossy treestump. And not just on the phone. We just watch movies when we’re together so no bossy treestump-ness occurs, and when I feel like talking I call my mom.

    I’m totally setting my pretend DVR to record that channel we don’t get, so I can sit down with a big bowl of non-existant popcorn to view your spectacularity. (Maybe I should have my mom tape it….she lives in Utah. And then I really CAN make popcorn.)


    It’s scaring (or comforting) me that it seems all husbands are the same. What amazes me is that while we were dating long distance, our phone conversations were hours n’ hours long. Now (even when we’re apart), they’re short, sweet, and to the point.

    It kills me.

  15. Annie!
    How fun to see your beautiful face pop up on blog! I have to tell you… I found your blog recently and I probable spent a good 40 minutes reading past post and feeling like fast friends! You’re a girl I could go to lunch with and not have to doll myself up for! That’s a compliment by the way!

    Looking forward to meeting you at the CBC in May!

    And awesome Hubs story! Gotta love ’em!

  16. Did I marry your husbands twin? Srsly.

    You are gonna ROCK the TV tomorrow! I’m having an Annie party just for you.

    (and I’ll speak to the man upstairs for you too! I’ve got connections!)

  17. I can’t believe it was real. Does that mean there actually was a bomb? Crazy! I kind of like that my husband is private, but I always think that that privacy shouldn’t apply to me. He should tell me everything, right? But I am always finding stuff out about him that it never occurred to him to tell me, and even now that I know I can’t get him to talk about. Argh!