The truth about my kidney stone cleanse.

How come my best stuff comes with so much pain? Seriously, I wrote this week’s column in a complete and total kidney stone haze, one draft, no edit, and I barely made my deadline. And yet, it’s so raw and so totally painful in the most delightful way–I hope I never have to read it (or write it) ever again.

Check it out here. And so far so good, the Coke and asparagus (two liters, not one) seem to have done the trick. I’ll let you  know if any more stones start to move.


  1. That was so descriptive and painful to read. My bottom clamped up at the thought……we both (bottom and I) are sorry for your ordeal. Please keep us in your thoughts if you go through it again and we’ll bring you your beloved coke, asparagus and with a touch of sympathy.

  2. ok I just read about kidney stones….I guess it’s not my bottom clamping up…YOWSERS….

  3. Okay- I am grateful to say that we are not twins in this case, though your timing is impeccable. Maybe you will pass your stone the day I give birth! (If you gotta have a silver lining, at least you won’t need to wake up in the middle of the night for the next 6 months with yours. Nor change stinky diapers and potty train it over the next 3-4 years…)

  4. I have no idea how you did anything whilst in the midst of kidney stone pain. You amaze me.

  5. I don’t envy you. Not this.
    That kind of pain…well, you did an excellent job making me feel it for you, that’s for sure!

    I’m glad the two-liters seem to have done the trick and I hope you’re feeling much, much better.

  6. OW. OWOWOWOWOWOW. Here’s to no more kidney stones in 2010.

    My husband let me drive myself to the hospital when I went into labor with Josh.

    Yeah. It’s gonna take a LOT more than a bottle of coke for him to make it up to me.

  7. I still can’t quite believe the whole cock (whoops, I mean coke) and asparagus thing. That is amazing.
    I understand all to well, that fights/disagreements/pissyness sometimes comes at the MOST as you said inoportune moments.
    Tender –that is a good resolution. Life –this world –in general could use a whole lot of more Tender eh.
    so keep working on it as will I——–actually I thought I was pretty dang almost near perfect. I love my world of dilusion. (is that how you spell it?)

  8. GREAT ARTICLE . . . . I’m sorry you have the pain behind it though! Darn!

  9. Ohhhhh! He made you go by yourself for your first ever kidney stone attack death trip? SAD! I can empathize, I have only had kidney stones once (knock on wood) but when I got them I literally remember thinking, and saying, that I was going to die, it was all over, I was dying. However, I kind of didn’t…..Almost maybe though!

  10. ooooooooowwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeee!!!

  11. All I can say is ouch. And yuk. And I’m sorry.

  12. Don’t remember if I’ve told you this already: my husband has passed about 4 dozen babies. I mean, kidney stones. It’s to the point now that he knows when they’ve broken up or gotten smooth. Weird, huh? He’s had ’em 13+ years and only been hospitalized twice. No lithotripsy (sp?) yet.

    Yeah, his 4 dozen rock babies pale next to my 4 human ones. Even if 2 of mine were twins.


    (yes. I am commenting on

    (you’re welcome)