Bitter. Kind of.

So it looks like my kids will be staying here this weekend, it’s a no-go with their grandparents. I don’t quite know what to say, other than I want to throw up and run away to Ireland.

I was thinking about this whole single parenting gig today, and I’ve decided that really, it’s just a mind game. It’s not like Jason being home gives me much reprieve from the laundry, or the housework, or the endless stream of “I’m hungry’s” that fly from my kids’ ever open little mouths. Granted, he’s pretty good about handling bath time and pitching in with bed time, and he does usually does the dinner dishes. Okay, he helps me. A lot.

And even when I try really hard to look at the big picture and give myself a lousy pep talk, I can’t seem to shake feeling like I’m mostly alone in the world. Do I sound whiney enough? Cause seriously, I can turn this up a notch if you’re not feeling it.

So here I sit, mopey, depressed, and feeling like if any of my children even looks at me, I might fly into a crazy woman rage that involves large quantities of sugar and even larger quantities of telelvision. Because right now, I’m trying incredibly hard to be a good mother, but all those auto-pilot parenting tricks are calling out, “Use us! Use us! Come on and abuse us!”

I have an hour and forty minutes until my first-grader is home. He’s so high maintenance, wanting to be constantly entertained, I don’t know if we’re going to get through the rest of the day. Seriously, sometimes life sucks.

Quick update: I just got off the phone with my darling little sister-in-law who swooped in and saved the day–she’s helping me out on Saturday for a few hours so I only have to cancel one of the events I had scheduled for the weekend (oh yes, there were events). Hey, sometimes it pays to ask. Love you, Hayley!


  1. Feel your pain. My 2nd grader is home sick, and I can usually only take her in smaller doses. 24 hours a day of trying to entertain this one might push me over the edge!

  2. So glad you got a little help! So sorry things fell through in the first place, so frustrating! Hope you know I’m thinking about you! You can do it!! (Yes, sometimes life sucks. I agree.)

  3. Ugh. Been there. Sucks rocks. Chocolate and sweet sisters or SILs definitely help.

  4. A wise friend of mine once saved me from my self-loathing whine fest by offering her own tried and true, advise, “When this is all over, like all good traumaticies, you won’t remember the misery. It will be like it never happened.” Hey, it worked for me and in the middle of the blah–your words seriously helped keep my slipping grip on reality. If that pep talk doesn’t help, just turn on Sponge Bob already. Hang in there, girl!

  5. The truth is, life without hubby is HARD. I hate it. My husband used to travel for work often and during those two week stints, I wanted to die. Then I would finally get the hang of it and he’d come home and I’d fly into a new emotional upheaval.

    Hang in there. And Hooray for great little sisters!

  6. I so know what you mean, though. My hubby travels a lot…maybe not for weeks and weeks all at once, but between August and well, May, he’s got trips all the time.
    I think just the simple idea that he is gone makes me think things are harder.
    You should just bring all of your monkeys over here, we can let them loose to trash my place, and you and I can put up our feet and eat chocolate and watch mindless trash on TV.
    What d’ya say?

  7. I so know how you feel. I have 3 girls (all about a year apart) and they all are various versions of drama divas and queens. My youngest is a boy, also a first grader and needs to be entertained constantly. Sometimes being a mom is no fun! If you run away to Ireland, can I come too (even if we just met :)? Love your blog and your column! BTW, I find that having chocolate in both hands helps. 🙂

  8. A mind game is right. Sometimes I need to know that if I completely fall apart from the stress of it all, someone else will be there to help me pick up the pieces. And my only jaunts into single-parenthood have been three days or less. Three days of descending into the tenth circle of hell, if I may say so.

    I have one kid who, I’m convinced, sees me as the obstacle to absolute control of the entire universe. And when daddy isn’t around, my lovable little one looks at me and says, “I can take her.”

  9. Feel free to drop them off to me in England. I often have half the kids from church anyway on a Sunday, so what’s a few more.

    So sorry for you. Looking forward to something just to have it blow apart is not fair. We all need something to look forward to. There is always chocolate and hiding under the duvet while they watch ridiculous amounts of t.v. Sadly that would probably be followed by guilt and therefore more chocolate. Time to call in all those favours I think. Or even to ring those visiting teachers who always ask if there is anything they can do, because now the answer is YES.

  10. Yeah, I’m doing the single parenting thing right now until we sell our house…. it’s HaRd!!!!!!!!!! We need a good girls’ night out with lots of laughing! Good luck! I’d offer to help, but I’m barely surviving a newborn, two rowdy boys, and trying to keep my house clean to sell!

  11. Sorry you are having such a hard time. I don’t like being away from my hubby for any length of time and hate it even more when high maintenance kids are involved. I recall many years ago having to deliver my youngest without my hubby around as he was another country. It stinks, but you eventually will get to the day when you can laugh about it. Promise.

  12. I’d rather have your three adorable kids for 5 weeks than have somebody throw bricks through the back window on both of my cars (which, yes, happened two nights ago to ME). Count your blessings. See you tomorrow!

  13. Sometimes I think I do a better job of parenting and housekeeping when my husband’s away. I’m not sure why–maybe it’s because when I know it’s all on my shoulders I’m less likely to procrastinate or leave tasks for him (that no one ends up doing). But the fact that I do so well without him kind of makes me mad, too–like, I deserve to do let the house go to ruin, or maybe I just feel like it’s a waste to make so much noise in the forest when there’s no one around to hear the tree fall–or something.