So Thursday morning around elevenish I’ll be making my routine monthly statement on Studio 5, our local NBC morning show.
In my desire to keep it real, I wanted call the segment, “Tips for the Lazy Parent”. In their desire to keep child services from coming after me, Darin feels more comfortable with “How to be Present When you Can’t be Present.”
See, the thing is, we’re all lazy sometimes, somewhere in our parenting. There’s not a parent out there who doesn’t find himself or herself slacking now and then (if not more often than that); there really aren’t any rules here, it’s kind of a Choose Your Own Adventure.
So I’d like to break this down into three areas of parenting, and I want to hear your ideas. I have a few of my own, but I’ll bet some of those less-pregnant brains out there might work a little harder and faster than mine.
1. Stay-at-home parents,
2. Part-time, full-time working parents,
3. Parents who are not currently living with their children for whatever reason, whether personal or national.
I would love to hear any tips and tricks you’ve learned/gleaned/tried/considered that might make us step up our game. The trick is how to find the moments that really count. (And yes, we know quantity is best, but sometimes quantity is our biggest enemy.)
The best ideas will be spouted about on television, which makes you almost famous. Just think, all your brilliant ideas, but you won’t have to get on camera knowing you’ve gained 12 pounds since the last time they saw you. (That’s like 100 pounds, camera talk.) Can’t wait until Thursday. Do you think potato sacks are back in style yet?
(Oh yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER DARLING! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE SO OLD!)
What a sweet tribute to your mom at the end there. 🙂 And I have no tips for you, as I’m just ALWAYS completely present. . . 🙂
To the stay at home parents who cannot (for the sake of mental health) dedicate all their time and energy to parenting, I offer up one solution: BOOKS. I take my children to the library religiously. If they are too young to read to themselves, children love being read a story, and it’s one of the least painful things a parent can do with their child (think board games and Barbies). The more you read to them, the more they read on their own, even if they don’t know how to read. My 3-year-old can spend an hour at a time turning the pages of books while making up stories or re-creating as much dialogue and storyline as she can remember. And now that my older ones are readers, they can quietly entertain themselves or read books to each other for large blocks of time. It provides me time to work on or at least think about other things. Unlike television or other electronic media, reading is the guilt-free self-entertainment solution– the “babysitter” that educates.
I usually don’t have time to read books myself for fun, but when the kids or I am sick I give myself permission to read that fiction book I have been waiting to read. I also do the same thing when I finish an project that has lots of steps. Sometimes you just need to give yourself permission to be lazy, I mean relax.
I also keep some frozen food on stock for those days I am just not able to spend the time to made a full blown meal. It happens.
Not sure if this is what you are looking for, but hope it helps. 🙂
K!
Oh man, I’m soooo lazy. One of the best things is kid’s FRIENDS, right? You invite over a friend or two, and they disappear and play. It’s kind of awesome, and the other kid’s mom thinks you are a saint. Heh.
Then, my kid loves books but she also loves to draw. So I buy a cheap photo album and cut up paper the size of the picture slots and tell her to draw me a story, or make one for Grandma. She could do that for hours and it’s so creative. Every thinks I’m such a great mom, but the whole time she was doing it, I was surfing blogs 🙂
I’m totally using your book idea, fabulous. And now you’re famous.
Stay-at-home mom: I agree with the reading and books. My personal escape is reading during nap time. We also frequent the library to find new books for my 21 month-old year old. Now that it is a little warmer, I give him a little garden shovel and a stick and let him play in the not-yet planted garden while I read close by. We both love it!
My other idea for a lazy parent who doesn’t want the mess associated with creativity is to use a “Coloring Box.” Take a big cardboard box with low sides (kind of like the ones you get at Costco to hold all your stuff after you pay) and dump in a box of crayons, tape a paper down, and then put your little one in. No more crayons rolling off the table. No more worrying about coloring off the paper. Complete hands-off for the parent (or you can sit and color with them with much less stress) and freedom for the child. Visit this post, http://dmbuttars.blogspot.com/2010/02/coloring-box.html (don’t know how to make a link, just copy and paste, I guess), to see our “coloring box” in use.
Stay-at-home mom: I agree with the reading and books. My personal escape is reading during nap time. We also frequent the library to find new books for my 21 month-old year old. Now that it is a little warmer, I give him a little garden shovel and a stick and let him play in the not-yet planted garden while I read close by. We both love it!
My other idea for a lazy parent who doesn’t want the mess associated with creativity is to use a “Coloring Box.” Take a big cardboard box with low sides (kind of like the ones you get at Costco to hold all your stuff after you pay) and dump in a box of crayons, tape a paper down, and then put your little one in. No more crayons rolling off the table. No more worrying about coloring off the paper. Complete hands-off for the parent (or you can sit and color with them with much less stress) and freedom for the child. Visit this post, http://dmbuttars.blogspot.com/2010/02/coloring-box.html, to see our “coloring box” in use.
Pre make snacks and bottles, ect and have them ready to go in the fridge so when I’m tired I don’t even have to pull a bottle out of the cabinet and fill it up or cut up an apple. I just pull it straight out of the fridge…or pull out a zip lock with the perfect portioned snack from the pantry for the hungry little one. A lifesaver when I’m feeling tired and lazy. Which is pretty much all the time 🙂
A homework/play schedule.
When getting home from school THEY help set the schedule, and then are taught how to follow it.
5 minutes to unwind and have a snack.
30 minutes of playing outside.
____ for homework.
Bleah, bleah, bleah…
By having them help set up their schedule, they’re more likely to buy into it. My parents used to do this type of thing all the time with stuff like, “Do you want to do your homework now, or read? You could always read now and do your homework afterward…”
I also use the idea of a dinner with my class.
What do you like the least? Eat it first. Get it out of the way. Then enjoy the things you love.
For some reason most of the kids say that they’d rather eat the chocolate cake first and the green beans very last. What an awful taste to leave in your mouth at the end of a meal! I relate that to homework and playtime.
This probably isn’t what you wanted, and I probably didn’t read the directions correctly.
Welcome to 5th grade life…
Stay-at-home mom: As if I know anything after four different children…The one thing I am noticing around me is the attitude “I want to give my children what I didn’t get”. Although that sounds sincere, those using that as their motto tend to forget “Give your children what you had”. Ie. hard work & integrity. We have definitely reached an era of immediate gratification and “I deserve it” attitude, and our kids are picking up on it.
This is probably one of the most challenges pieces advice for me, but I know it to be true, so I will share. It takes patience to let them do the project/chore their way, but the self worth a child acquires while being acknowledged for his work is priceless. If a 4-year old makes her bed the best she can, but it doesn’t meet up to your standards, LEAVE IT. It doesn’t help the child’s self-esteem to fix it, AND it gives you more work.
I’m not sure this is the kind of comment you want, just felt like sharing.
That’s a great tip, especially for mom’s who don’t want to create more work but still want well adjusted kids. Thank you Shelley!
Here’s a tip for lazy parents like me: if you have an early morning doctor appointment (or other), put your kids to bed IN THEIR CLOTHES, it will cut out one step the next morning. Of course, this doesn’t work if you have a bed-wetter, LOL!
Another tip: cardboard boxes – the bigger the better. When you have a big project you need to work on, give them a big box to color, decorate, hide in. Guaranteed to give you at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted time. One refridgerator box we had lasted 9 months and was a rocket/school bus/fort/castle/car among other things, and each of my 4 kids ages 1 – 11 loved it.
In your “working mom” section, you should mention stay-at-home working mothers. Although I have absolutely no tips on dealing with kids while working, other than: “Try not to go insane.” or “Thank goodness for naptime.” or “When oh when will they all be in school full time?!!” OH WAIT – I might actually have a real one. We got a ginormous gate so we could block off our home office (as in the loft with the computer desk that isn’t really an office, but whatever) so that way I can work and the kids can be near me, but they’re on the other side of the gate so that they’re not ON TOP of me, yet I’m still semi-present.
I’ve got something planned just for you, it’s an idea that worked for me when I used to do business from home.
LOVED it! I just watched Studio 5. I’ve never read your blog before, but I will now! I have twin 21 months old who always need my attention. I work from home a few hours a week. I’m lucky if I can get in an hour a day when they are sleeping. I also started a blog for mothers of twins, that I never get to post on because of time. I’d love to be able to keep that blog up and have a busy box for my kids. It is great that they do play together and keep each other entertained for a few min.
Thanks again for the great ideas!
Check out my blog for MOTs and let a any of your friends with twins know about it. I’d love to have some guest posts.
http://www.motbits.com (Tidbits for mothers of twins)
Wait a minute. I’m supposed to entertain my kids.
Crap. I totally suck.
Great segment–as always!