Obsessing about my weight? Never.

Toasted cheese sandwiches on white bread with processed cheese and loads of butter. And I just ate two of them.

Let’s all congratulate me, today I hit my goal weight. That’s right, with three plus months left on the baby timer, I just reached my delivery weight. How awesome is that. Let’s go get a cheeseburger!

I’ve been thinking about it, and in all actuality, how much more weight do I need to gain these next three months? Five pounds? Six? How much does a newborn need to weigh to be in the non-colic club? And if I go back to salads and soup and skip those waffles with pools of butter in the morning, I could technically keep the scale from moving ahead too much more. Of course, I’ll also have to give up my daily 32 oz. Coca Cola Classic, a crutch I blame entirely on my cute pregnant SIL.

Oh man I need a coke.

The one good thing here is that my husband is out of town this week and next, and during the last five weeks of this gestational vacation I’ll be flying solo. In fact, he comes home the day before my scheduled c-section (if I can manage to keep my knees closed before then, since in the past the baby is out and named a good week prior to my upcoming delivery date).

But when Jason is gone, I’m the low-cal queen of the universe. I stock the freezer with my lean cuisines, make sure to have plenty of summer sausage and almonds on hand, and voila! Total skinniness. (Except I’m not usually pregnant, and I’m not usually quite this unstable, and my kitchen doesn’t usually have packages of oreo’s stashed in places that my children can’t reach. Also there might be mint truffles.)

Oh well, get me through this pregnancy without any casualties and it will be a miracle. If the scale has to suffer a little, so be it.


  1. kpulsipher says:

    I’m sure you can do it all tomorrow night at The Cheesecake Factory. I suggest we get the $30 appetizer plate, to share, and 5 slices of cheesecake.

  2. I firmly believe the first rule of any life-changing event is to get through it safely and happily at almost any cost. Do whatever it takes. For me, it’s Mexican food and Ginger Ale. Then deal with the ramifications. I’ve never been pregnant but that seems like it would safely qualify as life-changing.

  3. Sounds like a plan! Well, at least you know you can lose it, they way you did after Junie. So don’t panic. There’s no way you’ll have that much to lose after this one anyway. Piece of cake! (Cheesecake, apparently:)

    Besides, I saw you on tv and you’re still adorable. Can’t wait to see you this summer.

  4. If you need someone to come and take care of your mint truffles I’m happy to do so. It’s a sacrifice, but I’m just trying to help you.

  5. I went through major grilled cheese phases with each of my pregnancies. What is it about processed cheese that calls to pregnant women?

  6. Lol, weight has to take to the backseat when it comes to pregnancy. ;D

  7. You took the words right out of my mouth.

    BUT I think that I eat more now than when I did being pregnant.

    Darn nursing cravings.

  8. Dave Barry says you should remember you’re eating for two, but that the second person isn’t Orson Welles. Hmph. Fat lot he knows. Of course, you’re swimming in those magic pregnancy hormones people are paying big bucks to have injected as a weight loss tool, so maybe it’s time to visit the dentist and see about having your mouth wired shut. Although, if you’re like me, you’d just drop that cheese sandwich into the smoothie maker and hit frappe.

    Sigh. No perfect solution.

  9. If it makes you feel any better, not only was I warned by my doctor when I was pregnant to stop gaining weight, I also passed up my husband with all three pregnancies. I gained 50-60 pounds with all of my babies.
    I consider pregnancy a free pass to eating whatever you want. Besides, don’t you lose weight at the end?
    If you’re really worried about it, I could come over and tie you to the bumper of my car, and make you run. ♥ you!

  10. Only thing tastier than buttered white-bread-and-fake-cheese sandwiches? Put some diced onions in there. Oh, yes. (Also, call it a vegetable and feel SO good about it.)

  11. Well, I’ve been there. (Okay, I’m still there, with a 2 month old and 20 pounds of cookies still on my backside), but I LOST 4 pounds in the last three weeks of pregnancy (one of those weeks I was overdue). So you should plan on that. And go get the mint truffles. Cuz those sound delicious.