A few thoughts on teen pregnancy

Yes, you’ll all be happy to know that I actually managed to make my deadline this month with the Standard Examiner. Here’s one of my never ending opinions on teen pregnancy and the conseqences.

This week’s column…


  1. i enjoyed your column!

    i was a pregnant teen. joined momdom at the age of 17. it wasn’t possible for her father & i to marry (we each knew it would ultimately end in divorce…and i was already the product of/affected by my parents’ own multiple divorces).

    i finished HS. i went to our football games & basketball games when i wasn’t working. and my bundled daughter came with. she was part of my life 100%. there was no pawning her off on one of my parents. i’m the one who decided to be a mom, i was the one doing mom-duty. that’s all there was to it. i did attend the prom & homecoming, so i could look back with no regrets. however, even after getting home at midnight or 1am, if she awoke at 2 or 3am? i was the one with her.

    after HS i worked multiple jobs, payed for good daycare, and sacrificed a lot to be able to attend some college as well. juggling a kid is rough when you’re married to back-up. it’s demanding mentally, as well as physically. multiply that by 10,000 when you’re all alone, playing both mommy & daddy.

    i married my husband when i was 22. those 5 years alone were a whole lot of work.
    and not even the way it’s portrayed on these so-called reality shows. and not even just in the daily acts of motherhood. balancing relationships with her dad & his family took a lot as well. great people. but all people require work. her father & i remained friends. matter of fact he, my husband, and myself are very good friends. but that didn’t just happen! the pieces fell together only because of great sacrifice & hard work.

    you’ve got to know that my daughter’s a gem. i wouldn’t trade her, nor the timing (looking back now due to my infertility). her dad’s family is great. she knows she is loved unconditionally by all 3 of us. even when i married my husband, she knew. she was 4 at the time, and that night she was asked if she was excited about her step-dad. she didn’t hesitate one bit or pause to think. she told this person that she is such a lucky girl because Heavenly Father blessed her with two daddies who love her very, very much. she got it then, and still appreciates all that we’ve worked so hard for. she also knows that someday she will be blessed with a step-mom as well, and can’t wait.

    in reading all this, it may sound like a hypocritical mess. but really its not. i’m grateful for our family’s life & outcome. however, the chances of this same scenario going down is extremely rare, i’m finding out.

    i don’t suggest teens do single motherhood. at 17, even though i rose to the occasion, i was not prepared to be a mother. there was a lot of learning as i went. shoot by age 22, when i married, i wasn’t ready THEN to be a wife even.

    if i wasn’t ready, then teens nowadays are certainly NOT mature enough to put their child first. we didn’t have cellphones that can monopolize a life, or internet in every home, or gripped by technology like we are now. we as a people are less & less able to pay attention & multitask responsibly as a society…and we’ve all be at this a while. a kid who’s barely had their license maybe a year, communicates only through texts, & are elated about getting their curfew extended an hour can barely handle the stewardship they currently have….adding a baby in the mix is dangerous for the child….not only is the mom not mature enough, but the child too often becomes the recipient of mom’s (& dad’s) resentment, which manifests itself in brutal, hurtful ways. think of the mother in south carolina who recently killed 2 of her 3 children because she couldn’t handle the pressure & stress that comes with providing for her kids. think also how ravaging post-partum depression has been on grown women. how much worse it is for teen mom’s whose brains have not fully developed.

    is it great if a couple can marry? yes. however most of those marriages don’t last long….or they remain married but abusive to one another. and that’s definitely not how a child should grow up.

    let it be known that i am highly against abortion. it’s not an option. not a viable one.

    adoption is definitely a route more teen parents should consider. being on this side of IF, i’ve made a lot of friends who also cannot have children at this point. they ache so badly for their completed family. and you’re right, they have so much more they can give these children than many bio-parents.

    from the other perspective of watching teens become parents, we have a distant family member who is currently expecting his first child. baby mama is just out of school, while he still has his senior year to go. i’ve been around ’em a lot lately and neither of them are ready to be parents, let alone get married. baby mama is drama. baby daddy doesn’t even have a job & the baby’s due in 8 weeks. his biggest worry this week is making it to bumpershoot on labor day weekend! needles to say i’m very worried for their child.

    as far as today’s kids are concerned, they look to celebrities who’re having children at young ages & out of wedlock and it’s become not only acceptable in their eyes, but a matter of status. think of the reality shows’ following….there was dismissed…laguna beach…my sweet 16….the hills…& it has progressively gotten worse. the kids all think they all needed to live excessive, dramatic, expensive lifestyles. these shows glorified this mentality. and now having babies has become the latest addition to their arsenal of depravity. children have become an accessory in life. ya know the matching prada bag & a baby to boot! it’s too much. too much ignorance. too much selfishness.

    so, anyways. those are my thoughts. thanks for your column. more people need to speak out about it. hope you’re hanging in there.
    only a few more days! =)

  2. lol. you’re rad. thanks for the comment! made my night. completely! (:

  3. Good for you. Well written – concise – well organized and well thought out. Just the way I like it.

    More, please!