Nothing lasts forever…

My toddler was so horrible yesterday, and I was so overwhelmed, that it’s nothing short of miraculous that she’s still got two arms and two legs that are relatively bruise free. When you have to drag your 38 pound child to her room over and over, knowing full well that you’re not supposed to heft more than a dozen pounds, it takes a toll. My incision actually split open a little. Baaad.

So here are a few ideas on how to handle life with a terrible twoer for those of you who are in my shoes, know someone in my shoes, or will someday be in my shoes.

1. Sell child to the gypsies.

2. Pray for a lightening bolt to strike you dead.

3. Eat large quantities of chocolate, realize it gives the baby a tummy ache, then sit on the floor of the kitchen and cry.

4. Eat chocolate anyway and give the baby gas drops.

5. Plan to spend some one on one quality time with your toddler, but put her down for an early nap instead.

6. Turn on cartoons, hide in your room with a 44 oz Diet Coke, and call your mommy. Very therapeutic.

Honestly, I really intended to come up with some fantastic ideas but couldn’t think of any. I will say, Patty Ann left a comment yesterday that kind of saved us last night. She suggested I keep books around to read them while I nurse, and that I not hesitate to call a neighboring young woman for help. So I did, and we even managed to pump out a Family Home Evening (which I made up as I went along, and did not involve any treats whatsoever) before locking them down for the night.

Sometimes as mommies we snap, and it’s not pretty. The kids had me wound tighter than an ill-fitting girdle by eleven am, and I’m going to honestly tell you that I lost it a few times. But like my dear sister Laura reminded me the other day, nothing lasts forever. I’ve been repeating this to myself over and over all day and it really does help.

We’ve all got a two-year-old to deal with somewhere, even if it comes in the form of a rotten boss or a serious life challenge. The important thing to remember is that no matter how terrible it is, things change. One of you will eventually die off.


  1. Annie, Thank you for your kind words. You are truly someone that I admire. I have had plenty of two year olds of my own and have so been right where you are! (By myself with toddlers and a new baby). I think you sister’s advice is priceless. I word the same advice like this: The Bible often says, “It came to pass”. It never says, It came to stay!
    Keep doing just what you are doing. You did a great job last night! I wish I was there so that I could give you a little support and encouragement. Just remember that you are loved, and that Heavenly Father gave those kids to you because you would love them and cherish them! (and remember, even though you don’t see it, we all “lose it” from time to time!)

  2. So, what you’re saying is that chocolate cures everything? I concur.

  3. I just wrote about this on my blog! My 2.5 year old is driving me crazy as well, and I have a 1.5 year old whose tantrums are rivaling that of his sister’s. So I vented on my blog yesterday.

    Glad to know I’m not alone in this. 🙂

  4. i like what patty ann had to say for sure. and remember also that the bible never said “and it came easy.” it’s gonna be uphill. it was supposed to be like this because its the more imperative work, period! that’s how it always goes.

    (you must know my 2 year-olds come in the form of a 30 yr old hubby & a 13 yr old daughter, 3 unruly dogs & 2 stubborn adult male cats—one being siamese which often = vial & cantankerous to EVERYONE!!!)

    something that pops in my mind all. the. time. is this:
    it is what it is, so make the most of it.

    i am guilty quite frequently in the better homes & gardens picture of what i think my life should be like. how clean my home should be 24/7. how my family should behave & conduct themselves whether in public, with family, or at home.
    however, that’s not realistic. it’s attractive, but not real. God gave us our plates, and dished ’em up just how He feels is most appropriate for us. He gave us the kids He did, and the spouses He did, and the rest of our whole lots in life that He did for a reason. not for us to be unhappy or dissatisfied with it, or to waste our precious time wishing we had the BH&G version instead, but for us to make the most of it. when we do that, THAT is when we’re most successful. THAT is when we gain & perfect some of the most valuable talents. even if it requires ingesting some heavy doses of chocolate just to get by. that experience is what it is, so make the most of it. ENJOY that chocolate. RESPONSIBLY administer those gas drops. GRACIOUSLY call a sister in the ward for help. be STEADFAST with your children & them being in their room when necessary. rules & boundaries are important since it’s what children need, want, and learn from. nothing worse than the all-talk mom. follow through. there is grace & dignity in being the disciplinarian. no doubt.

    yesterday: overwhelming? yes. did you still do ok? yes.

    ::big hugs::

    remember, moment to moment. you’ve got this!
    (asking for help is never ever bad. fhe to boot last night? mega kudos!!! reading to the kids while nursing? spectacular! well done, thou good & faithful mommy.)

  5. I’m glad you took your friends advice. I remember when I had a four year old, a seventeen month old and a new born. I wish I had called on others more often. It would have been better for my kids if I had. ((hugs))

  6. I would suggest you keep a supply of chocolate next to those books.

    After our third child was born, I would drop the 4 year old off at preschool, drive around until the 2 year old and new baby fell asleep, pick up a bacon cheeseburger and a rootbeer float at A&W then sit in the car and cry.
    I gained 20 lbs that year.

    Also, when our children were young, they had a very healthy fear of being sold to the Gypsies.

    And now that I am the mother to a teenager (and an almost teenager) I have discovered that I can get back at them for their misbehavior as a toddler, by embarrassing them in front of their friends.
    Dancing in public works remarkably well.

    Hang in there Annie. Many of us have been there, and most of us have survived.

  7. You’re right, of course. And it does pay to get help. In fact, you might want to consider PAYING to get help. Those YW in your ward would, I’m sure, appreciate a chance to earn a little pocket money by holding your baby while you shower, or start dinner. Or they can entertain the older kids. Whatever. I had a girl who worked for me all the time we lived in Seattle, and she absolutely saved my life. And when she rebelled, ran away from home, took up messing with drugs and booze, and was living on the streets, I saved her life, too.

    Give ’em a call, Annie Banannie. It’s worth every single penny!

  8. Chocolate and Diet Coke cures pretty much everything–except newborn gas. Those seem to make it worse, but even then I plow ahead full force. My sanity is worth it. Maybe I should apply these options to my 10YO who is acting like a terribly twoer.

  9. my kids are all 2 years apart… and apparently it took me 5 of them to realize what a stupid idea this was. They are also all C-section babies… I distinctly remember being 4 weeks postpartum with #3 – and leaving the house for the first time (we’d been quarantined for chicken pox and pneumonia… no joke) and realizing that I had to stay with the cart (because that’s where babe was) but I needed to choose between going fast to keep up with the 4 year old or slowing down to wait for the 2 year old…

    I started shopping in the middle of the night.

  10. Needed this today. My terrible two sweetie drove me insane today. Thank you.

  11. I’m sitting here at my computer with an almost one-week-old baby, a repeat cesarean incision of my own, and a five-year-old who thinks he’s been seriously betrayed by a mommy who suddenly made him share the center of the universe. So nice to feel a little kinship with someone like you!

    And I really do think post partum hormones taste better buried in cake.

  12. I always feel a lot better after a long shower and a nap. And if those are not possible for you right now, I agree with DeNae. Pay someone to make it a possibility. But yes, we all have days and moments like this (except I’ve never had one with an incision, so I’m really sorry!). Sometimes it feels like the universe picked the worst part of the movie, paused it, and keeps hitting the repeat button. But it will finally skip and you’ll pick up your rhythm. Good luck, Annie!

  13. I think this season is one of the hardest ones in the life of a mommy. It’s difficult to be sunshine and roses when you’re tugged, pulled, [pick a bodily function]ed on, and in high demand from waking until weeping. But as hard as it is (and it IS!) it is a season and thank heavens above, seasons change.

    Sure, we all miss things when they change but sometimes, it’s just nice to move onto Spring. Hang in there. So glad that you have such supportive family and friends. *hugs*

  14. “The important thing to remember is that no matter how terrible it is, things change. One of you will eventually die off. ”
    I think I’m going to needle-point that on a pillow.

  15. Here is a virtual hug for you. I’d give you a real one, but that would require me dragging my twins on over. and I don’t think you really want to add a couple toddlers to your life. Although I would promise to hold your baby so you can sleep.

  16. I wonder if it’s the weather changing (must blame something here). Kids have been nuts lately and I have noticed other moms at preschool feeling the same way. It must be the weather or some cosmic force.

  17. This sounds so familiar. I was just up in Ut helping my youngest sis w/ her two little ones. Definitely call the yw or even the ym. Some of them are pretty great w/ little ones too.

    “The important thing to remember is that no matter how terrible it is, things change. One of you will eventually die off. ” Good to know that you still have some sense of humor! *wink*

  18. If your living my exact life, then why do I still have to?! Only one of us should suffer. I vote you, but I’ll buy you some chcolate while I’m on my way to somewhere tropical and childless.

  19. Childrens Melatonin. It’s GOLD! And, a baby wrap where you can wear your baby like jewelry.

    Those two things will change your life FOREVER.

    Then remember: When the Cherry Limeade spills, you first have to cry (because we always cry over spilt milk. Or Cherry Limeade.), then shrug because seriously? It’s just a drink.

    To quote this wise woman: “You are not raising a clean house or made beds. You are raising people. ”

    Breathe in. Breathe out. Enjoy.


  20. Lol! Annie, I am in your shoes! I go from happy, loving mommy of 4 to cranky, kids & husband can’t do anthing right, hormonal mom in about 2 seconds flat. My poor family. Good tips, btw!! Love you, Annie!!!