a little tolerance, please.

So, I’ve had a ridiculous amount of feedback for this week’s Standard Examiner Top of Utah Voices column that came out this morning. Thank goodness for the feedback, I totally forgot that I wrote it.

This is my last week with the Top of Utah Voices section, I’ve been given a promotion! Starting next month, I’ll be writing a column for the front page of the Pluses section every other week. Phew. It’s more my style, less pressure to be obstinate in my view points. Heck, I don’t think I even have to have a viewpoint with the upgrade. I can write the same kind of crap I post here.

Oh, and I am purposely not reading any of the comments in the paper, so don’t tell me what they say. Please. (Just in case they all hate me.)



  1. Next thing I know, you are going to be telling us you are up for a Pulitzer, and someone named a unicorn after you.

  2. Exactly. And yet, people get all huffy about the old, “children should be seen and not heard” bit. Good grief. Everyone breathe. One of my favorite people said, “how precious are the souls of men”. I’m grateful God is tolerant with me; I figure that means I get to show that gratitude by being tolerant of others. And myself.

    p.s. I still want that chicken tortilla soup recipe. I’ve been craving it.

  3. The thing I also don’t get about that phenomenon? People once WERE children. Haven’t we all had an experience where an adult made us feel smaller? And yet some of us turn into adults who belittle children. I just thought that last night people don’t treat children like “people.” It’s wrong. I’m glad you wrote this one. Tolerance is something that should be on every school curriculum.

  4. mom of a mob says:

    I, too, am shocked at people’s reactions! Thankfully I, a mother of 5 under age 11, have not personally experienced this, or there would be some serious discussion w/ the “former child”.

    Here are a few articles that deal with the same issue, one with an LDS bias & one without.


    http://www.weeklystandard.com/articles/there-goes-neighborhood (referenced in the above article – read the comments section to understand the heated bias against children)

    Patience begets the ability to find solutions. Hatred & vitriol only leads to more of the same.

  5. Great column. Amen and amen.

  6. I don’t know what goes on with people in Utah?! Is that it? I take my kids out all of the time, just was at Costco for an hour and had no less than 3 complete strangers coo and smile at, tickle, and admire my children. Happens all of the time. NOT KIDDING. My kids aren’t perfect, sometimes they are fussing, but no one has ever even given me a rude look! Today, baby was fussing because he was hungry, some lady stopped and talked to him to cheer him up! So I don’t know why people aren’t kinder where you live, move back to WA.

    Seriously, I just have no other explanation than, Annie, God gives you the craziest experiences so you will have something to write about.

    P.S. Only the first comment was really rude, most people were understanding.

  7. I’m with L.T. Elliot…do these people forget they were once children too? Sheesh! Annie, I love your mom. Can I meet her someday? And congratulations on the promotion–they are lucky to have you!

  8. Love the column and the kids were perfectly entertaining themselves. Geez people get a clue kids are everywhere. WE all were a kid at one point or another and we were not perfect. Love it annie.

  9. Good article Annie, We all could use a little more tolerance of others. Maybe the woman just was having a bad day and had to take it out on someone else! Kids are kids, whether we want them to be or not. I wish I had their energy and enthusiasm!

  10. I don’t usually comment because, of course, your head is big enough — but I had to comment over at the other site. Totally have your back. Here’s what I wrote.

    When I left Utah there were still quite a few people that could string together a coherent, intelligent thought. I see that those children ‘haters’ have disrupted the norm.
    Annie clearly stated what her children were busy doing while she “happily tuned them out.” They were SITTING. Not yelling. Not running. All three were sitting in one chair. That, people, is amazing in and of itself. Sure they were talking, but since when were children not allowed to talk. They’re human beings too, aren’t they? I thought we had moved beyond our “children are meant to be seen, not heard” stage of thinking as a society. They were “happily” chatting Annie’s ear off. Happily. Would you rather that the kids yell what they want to say? You have no idea how long they had been chatting non-stop. Don’t even try to admit that YOU don’t start to tune out the person that has been bending your ear for some length of time. Hypocrite.
    Guess what? Annie was a paying customer at this business– JUST like that older lady. She had every right to be there. If you don’t want her bringing along her kids then maybe you should volunteer to babysit at your home — oh, I forgot — you’ve already had enough of that at home. Stinks to be your grandkid.”

  11. You are spot on about people not being tolerant of children these days. They forget that they are our future.

    I’ll never forget, 20 some odd years ago, I had my oldest, who was a toddler then, sitting on my lap at the family history center in downtown SLC! A place where I knew he needed to be quiet and not run around. He WAS sitting quietly on my lap . . . . . in a place full of MORMONS who believe that having kids is a righteous thing to do. A lady came up to me and told me my sons noises were driving her crazy. . . . . . WHA?????? . . . . . I hadn’t heard a thing. I guess he had been smacking his lips or something, and she couldn’t handle the noise. I had “tuned” out the smacking I guess, because I was totally anaware of it. LOL!

    I was annoyed that she was annoyed at my perfectly behaved little guy, and soon exited the building. I and my well behaved child had every right to be there . . . . . just as much as that grouchy old lady!

  12. The column was great. All the commenters are saying how some day they want to be you. Really. They’re totally saying that. No need to pop over there now, I’ve briefed you thoroughly.

    I did feel the need to weigh in on one or two of your more… um… energetic commenters’ comments. That’s extreme, considering how much junk food my sisters and I ate this weekend.

    But now those commenters totally want to be you.

    (Honestly, the comments aren’t really directed at you. You’ve just set off a lively discussion about kids’ behavior and adults’ narcissistic self-centered freakishness. At least that’s how I read it.)

    • annie valentine says:

      Thanks for getting my back, apparently I really needed it. Oh, and I delete all nasty emails before I read them. Why let someone’s bad mood ruin my day? Some people are just looking to be angry.

  13. Hey Annie- I LOVE YOU! 🙂 Oh, and I too had a few choice words with some of the more “interesting” commenters. But lemme tell you the gist of what appalled me in your column. If the crank of an old lady doesn’t want to sit near your children, good for her. Move already. But WHY in the name of my oldest child did she feel the need to TELL you why she was moving?! Being that rude is much more of a public assault than chattering children. Ugh! I feel so sorry for that lady when the day comes that her children (or ::gasp:: grandchildren) have to put her in a retirement home!

  14. I thought it was a well written article. I agree with you, it reminds of the breastfeeding in public debate as well. There really just doesn’t seem to be any tolerance anywhere anymore.

  15. I would have said, “Oh thanks so much, we have a cranky old grandma at home we are hiding from.”

  16. My favorite part is not that she moved, that’s fine, it’s her right. And it’s not that she didn’t want to hear your kids, again, not a big deal. It’s that she felt a need to tell you why she was moving. That part just blows me away.