Knock on wood, but I think I’ve got great news…

I hesitate to put the following information down in print, because I don’t know if I can handle the possibility of a retraction. Here it is, just the same.

June hasn’t crapped her pants in a week, and I think we’re finally in the end zone.


This has been the longest three months of my life. And I thought being engaged was hard. Trust me, that has nothing on this.

I have to say, while suggesting that I let her come around in her own time sounded like the only solution, three weeks of waiting, two weeks of pull-ups, and a week of total and complete urinary and bowel regression was all it took for me to take charge. And frankly, I think she wanted me to. Her bathroom behavior was like an out of control freight train, she needed a conductor to help things out.

So I took away her bottoms. That’s right, pants, undies, swimsuits, dance leotards, you name it. For over a week, she ran around in skirts. And yes, we had a few embarrassing moments, and yes, it was a very difficult week. I can honestly say that last week was the hardest week in my parenting career, no contest. But she’s far enough along in this business that for the most part, she couldn’t bring herself to do her business on the floor. The toilet was her only option (okay, minus the three times she did her business on the floor).

She had her first successful plop over a week ago, but the moment I put undies or pants on her she immediately browned them. This made me want to give her a swirlie, from which I refrained. Finally this afternoon, after months and months of poopy undies and resigned sighing and random screaming, I realized that she’s made it six days without a single accident, and nobody’s been helping her.

The best part of this whole thing? She’s like a new woman. That clinically naughty child who’s had me over a barrel and ready to report her to our home owner’s insurance, is proud of herself. She walks around all day telling me what a big girl she is and how proud Daddy is of her. And today? She listened when I spoke, and she actually chose to obey. For the past two days, her nose has been corner free and her behavior has been borderline delightful.

They say as mothers we always remember the “firsts,” but we never know when the last time has happened. The last bad dream, the last time-out, the last fort in the living room, the last game of hide-and-seek. But that last pair of poopy undies? I will remember. And man, it was the best last ever.


  1. Like I said, I think I must have had something similar happen in my childhood that explains my current skirt/dress obsession.

  2. YAY! For no more poopy underwear! I would have gone mad after week one! HOORAY!

  3. “give her a swirlie” – ha,ha,ha,ha,ha – Loved that part.

    I’m seeing a happy no-poopy-panty dance in your future if you haven’t already. You deserve it! (also saint of the year dance but, hey, who’s counting?)

  4. Knocking on wood really loud for you! I swear, I probably scarred my son over the very same issue 12 years ago. Worst period of my mothering life.

  5. Hooray!!!
    After having potty trained 4 of the stubbornest kids on the planet myself, I can completely understand your joy!

  6. OK, that was funny!
    I’m just old enough to be so dang grateful I don’t have to do that ever again.

    Sorry there’s been some serious property damage, but I’m not sure your homeowners policy would cover such nuclear fallout or other natural diasters such as potty training.
    However, I think you should call your insurance agent.
    I bet he’s never heard that one before!

    Congrats on NO CODE BROWN!

  7. Awww, Annie! I LOVE you!! This is SUCH great news; the best news ever! Will think of you as inspiration for me to get my little Norah potty-trained in the near future (bless her heart – soooo tired of fighting her to change her diapers – boo!). xoxo

  8. Yay! Love that, “Big Kid” glow. I can’t remember if I left potty training advice or not. I probably didn’t because training in a one sex sibling home is possibly different; but, with my last three, a week in the “Garden” (aka no fig leaf) worked wonders.

    Congrats Annie V. You are an amazing Mom.

  9. Congratulations! There’s hope? There’s hope!

  10. Have you read Karen kingsbury’s book? It’s about the last times.

    Go, June!!!!

  11. Here’s to a poop-free floor and an asylum-free mom!

  12. Fortunately – the memory of this all fades away. But no! You have recorded this moment in cyberspace – thank goodness. Now you will still have proof and leverage in one of those other difficult mommy moments!!!

  13. I’m over here crossing my fingers for you. I hope this for you: That is is a last that will last. Forever.

  14. hahaha this was so wonderfully descriptive! And funny that you wrote this today because, just last night, I realized that in a few months I am going to have to begin my own potty training battle. I have never been so scared of anything in my life! Any pointers on potty training a little boy who couldn’t care less if he walked around in a poopy diaper all day would be greatly appreciated!

    oh and P.S. Thanks for the comment on my blog yesterday. It make my day :o)

  15. HOORAY!!!

  16. Wooo Hoooo!!!

  17. Oh, I’m so thrilled for you. What an absolutely brilliant solution. I was about to tell you a story about Henry and poop… but seriously. I typed it all out and then reread it and was so disgusted myself, I had to delete it. Just know I’ve been there and am SO happy this stage of Junie’s life is over…