a kidney stone vacation

Last night I had lithotrypsy. In case you are wondering, this is a surgical procedure where they blast the “&%* out of your  kidney stone in an attempt to obliterate it. Mine was big, but they think they got her good.

Today I wanted to die.

Even without any cutting, I feel like I’ve been through major surgery. I spent all day long flat on my back, begging for help just use the potty. And of course, using the potty made me nauseous so I would then need help barfing. So sexy.

My husband doesn’t do sick, by the way.

Around three, he came in with that,”Time to get over it!” look on his face we recovering surgical victims hate.

“Honey,” he said in his best all knowing I-spent-one-summer-as-an-emt voice, “Let’s get you up and walking. That’s just what you need to feel better. Come on now, out to the television!”

I moaned and groaned and draped my nauseated self over his shoulders as he slowly plodded us out to the kitchen.

“I’m feeling better,” I said fakingly, “This is just what I needed.” I then proceeded to eat ten saltine crackers, because we all know saltines settle your stomach.

Fifteen minutes later, much to his total dismay, I was once again on my bed regurgitating the ten previously mentioned saltines with more zest than I’d like to remember.

And for the record, you  know a girl is sick when she can’t even lift her Kindle to read. Yeah, it was one of those days.

The good news is that tonight I’m walking and writing and making really lame kidney related jokes (that no one gets or laughs at). I’m sure tomorrow I’ll be back to my chipper, less vomity self.

We can only hope.

 


Comments

  1. Oh, my dear! You poor, poor thing! The bright side? Vomiting is a great way to jump start weight loss.

    • annie valentine says:

      And this is why we are such good friends. The scale was down two pounds this morning.

  2. Lindsey says:

    “Not doing sick” must be a Tintle thing, because I’m exactly the same way with Mark 🙂 Hope you’re feelin’ better today!

  3. Kidney stones are just awful. I’ve had a few, but never any big enough to zap, so I’m sitting here imagining how excruciating that must’ve been. Yikes.

    If anything gives you a NEVER TO BE DENIED right to moan and grown and feel self pitying – it’s a gigantic kidney stone, so tell Jason to step on back.

    Hope you’re feeling better soon, my friend.

  4. One question…. Has Hubby ever had a kidney stone?

    • annie valentine says:

      Of course not, although I do try to infuse his diet with kidney stone inviting foods.

  5. OK, why didn’t you call me?!? Boo. I will call you later.

  6. Just saying the word sounds painful. I hope you feel better soon.

  7. Yeesh. Thats horrible, I haven’t had kidney stones but I’ve had a lot of relatives with them, and from their stories, its horrendous! I hope you’re feeling better today!

  8. I’m sorry! I had a kidney stone when I was pregnant with my third. Woke me in the middle of the night and I thought I was dying. I threw up all over the nurse’s shoes at the ER and I didn’t even care because, hey, I was dying! Who cares about her shoes? I hope you’re back to 100% now. And yay to losing 2 pounds 🙂

  9. I don’t wanna empathize. I hope you feel better and now I must research how to avoid this. (Pray tell me its avoidable ….)

  10. sues2u2 says:

    OUCH! Never had one big enough to zap either but you’ve got my vote for a sick day. Shoot, just passing one made me sicker than a dog. Can’t even really imagine how sick you must have been except – OUCH!!

    (glad you’re doing better & woot-woo for 2 lb weight loss!

  11. I wish there was some drug that would make each spouse really GET when the other person needs their support, as well as telling exactly how to show it, whether it’s PMS, the common cold or post-lithotrypsy.

  12. hope you are over this by now!