my moving diet

I am so hungry I could eat one of my children.

We all know that moves are stressful. During the past eight years we’ve moved twice. With our last move the government gave us an 11,000 pound household limit; by the time the boxes arrived and my family was settled our weight limit was at 11,024 because Mama couldn’t stay out of the Starburst.

We are approximately 13 days out from making the leap to Germany and I have been in moving limbo for four weeks now (no thanks to vacation and the lack of household items which are currently floating around in the Atlantic somewhere). Two weeks and seven pounds into this nightmare, something had to give.

Enter my irritatingly skinny sisters.

The only thing worse than getting fat is having to do it while hanging around family members who are losing weight faster than popsicles in August. Hey, there is serious magic in calorie counting.

And so, amid all the upheaval, before coming back to Utah I hauled myself and my extra seven pounds onto the wagon, intending to thwart the chubby moving god’s and uncover the skinniest version that I could starve myself into . (When I say starve, I mean deprive myself of sugar and cream sauce and sandwich bread. I am eating like a rabbit.).

Those last 10 (or 17) pounds of baby weight will melt off, right?

It has been two weeks and my children should probably keep their toes away from my mouth. I live for my crumb calorie scrap meals and suck down herbal tea like a wannabe Brit. I’m chomping on veggies and lean meat like a cave man’s wife…

And the scale has not moved since Friday.

Heaven help the pork chop that gets on my bad side, if it wasn’t for the fact that at least I haven’t gained in the last four days I would be snarfing down Oreo cookies right about now.



  1. You do realize that you are about 200 pounds lighter than I am, right?

  2. Hey! What happened to the Salami!!!!!

    (and I didn’t know the 11,000 pounds included you!!! wink, wink 😉 )

  3. I’m moving to Africa on the 18th (and I’m a bit envious of your 11,000 pound weight limit!), so I’m on a moving diet too, except mine consists of being too nauseous to eat anything but crackers for a few meals at a time, and then binging on food from all of the delicious restaurants I’m not going to be able to visit for a few years. Hopefully this magical equation will result in anything but a weight gain.

    Good luck with your move (and the weight loss)!

  4. I am so with you on this post! I used to be “the skinny one” until I hit 38 and ran into a 20-lb brick wall that stuck to me like glue between my nose and knees. Adding insult to injury, we had just moved and all my new friends were marathoners and bone-rail thin. After returning from Oregon, I started faithfully following the 17 day diet ( lean protein and veggies only) for 8 days and working out like a mad-women each and every day for at least an hour and lost not a single pound. So frustrating! I guess we just keep trying to be healthy “for health’s sake” and not for the dress size. Hang in there girl!