Hypothetically speaking

Have you ever stayed up until 2:00 am reading some stupid post-apocolyptic book then had to get up at 6:00 to get your kids breakfasted and out the door, and then you put on Shrek for your toddlers (who could use diaper changes and baths) and went back to sleep until 10:00?

Have you ever come to the unfortunate realization that it’s November and you haven’t shaved your bikini line since August, but when you decide to actually do something about it you realize that it’s November and your husband has already locked the lawn mower away for the winter so, oh well?

Have you ever had your mother come to visit and spend her two week vacation doing your laundry and then go home early (I wonder why), leaving you with a job you are no longer interested in/remember about and so you finally start buying weekly socks and underwear for the kids because no one remembers how to start the washing machine?

Have you ever stripped the sheets off your kids’ beds to wash them and then forgot about it and realized that your poor son has been sleeping on his mattress cover for a week and doesn’t realized that it’s not normal?

Or have you ever had a friend come to get something out of your car but when she opens the door is attacked by soccer balls and banana peels and ends up catching some foreign virus because you haven’t cleaned it out in the last 7 hours/2 trips into town because that’s how long it takes to destroy a car?

Have you ever agreed to take four extra kids for the weekend and decided on Wednesday that instead of cleaning the house for the company you would finish your post-apocolyptic novel because eight kids in one house for three days is like a having Superstorm Sandy drop by for tea so why put out any effort until Tuesday, thus giving yourself an unexpected (albeit uncomfortable) week long vacation from the daily do’s?

I’m sure I don’t have any idea where these suggestions came from, I just like to hypothesize about other women and their crazy. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get back to polishing the silver.



  1. Bahahaha! I did that with the sheets once and the mattress cover. I mean, I heard this crazy mom did that once.

  2. Yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. And yes. I’ll totally admit to it, I’ve done those things. You don’t have to fantasize any longer, just call me, I’ll tell you all about my crazy! haha Loved this!

  3. Well…maybe once. 🙂 Or weekly.

  4. Amen to all that! I am just wondering which post-apocalyptic novel you were hypothetically reading that was so good and worth it.

  5. I still clean up when I know they’re coming to visit but I gave up being embarrassed when my mom or sister would come visit and clean my house more… and now I’m just grateful. And yes I wish they’d stay longer.

  6. Having this 4th kid has changed me. This is my life now. It is craziness.