hypnotically skinny

Hurray for iPhones and ear buds and cheap apps, I am almost back into jeans that button. Almost.

Let me tell you something about me and losing weight: It’s all in my head. Brownies are really just a mind game for me, it has very little to do with my taste buds or the needs of my stomach. My head likes brownies. My happiness hates them. How can my head and my happiness be so disconnected? I have never ate a brownie (or four) and then said, “Boy I feel so much happier with my life now!” I’m always miserable about it. Always.

For the last year I have felt like there’s no choice here, I cannot fight the powers that insist I eat peanut butter cookies and schnitzel. There are days when my hand force feeds my mouth chocolate chip cookies and I have no say in the matter whatsoever. I hate them, I don’t want to eat them, and yet they just keep making their way down my gullet like an invading army that takes no prisoners. I have been a prisoner to brownies and baguettes and leftover french toast and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups for the past year and I haven’t had the strength to do much about it.

Having been someone who knows how to be skinny and easily (it was so easy) maintained skinny in the past this has been a really freaky thing. Freaky and disturbing and oh look, I’m wearing stretch pants again today.

But those days are gone. So over.

I think I’m going to give credit here to my hypnotherapy app. I can’t decide whether or not it’s working because I usually fall asleep five minutes into it, but then this morning I was thinking about it and I had to wonder, maybe I don’t remember because it’s hypnotizing me. What if I’m having these great weight loss/healthy brain results because I’m actually hypnotized right now? What if I’m only writing this because my hypnotherapy app told me to tell everyone about my great new hypnotherapy app?

Frankly I don’t care why I feel so good. But let me tell you, Mama is going to be skinny by April 1st and that is no joke. And that’s a healthy goal for me, two pounds a week is super attainable.

But the best part of this is that I will (hopefully) be back into some of my jeans by February 14th when I fly home to see my family. Jason is sending me for Valentine’s Day and it’s the most motivating thing ever. Isn’t it funny how my sisters and I are frantically trying to get skinny real fast since we’re going to be seeing each other? I have no idea why it matters but oh my gosh it totally matters.

Family is so good for weight loss. And hypnotherapy. I love me some hypnotherapy.