The Recipe for a Perfect Novel

I have finally found it. The perfect recipe for an award-winning, Oprah’s Book Club (although I don’t like her and will never appear on her show when I’m famous in elementary schools throughout the world) chick lit smash hit. Why didn’t I realize that all these cool, edgy, made-for-mom’s books have a running theme (and no, it’s not Fabio)?

The story is simple. Middle-aged yet youthful heroine encounters divorce/death/drama. Her life is turned upside down/inside out/backwards. She relocates, opens a bakery/candy shop/catering business and meets a vagabond/actor/neighbor who steals her heart. She quickly discovers the meaning of life, finds her Authentic-self  in the kitchen (while simultaneously retaining/regaining her girlish figure), and enjoys instant patisserie success, thanks to a simple small business loan and a small town full of wealthy sweet teeth. She and her sensitive partner then ride off into the sunset eating pastries/chocolates/meatballs and live happily ever after. 

What have I been doing? I can write this story. In fact, if it wasn’t for the fact that I open my blog every time I sit down at the computer to work on my manuscripts or write a query, I would be living this dream myself (of course, my eatery would specialize in salami).

I love this blog. I hate this blog. I get nothing done with this blog. Blog. What a perfect word.


  1. This recipe is so delicious and unique, you better watch out or someone might swipe it from you.

  2. Or you might swipe it from someone. Or someone already has swiped it from you.

    But Annie, you can write the Mormon version. That’s what the world needs. (I’ll be blogging about that soon.)

    Funny! And soooo true!

  3. Amen!

    My blog is my nemesis and my lover all wrapped into one.

    Okay, that sounded way creepier than I intended. Dang.

  4. Sounds like a good plan… since I already know that writing is not one of my talents… you write and I’ll read 🙂

  5. Mormon novels make the author about $5,000, if you’re lucky . DON’T write the mormon version ;>

    I have a love hate relationship with my blog too.

  6. Despite that fact that it is used over and over—clearly it’s working. Judging by the number of books I’ve read that fit that line… I say capitalize on that. And when you’re famous—I’ll say I read your blog even before all that:)

  7. Speaking of salami… I had to buy some yesterday thanks to you!

    Write the book! I’d read it.

  8. The recipe for writing the perfect novel is…actually finding time to sit down and write it. Good luck with finding your time to do it. Sure it will be a good read.

  9. Hey, you write the books, I’ll run the bakery, and we will leave it to someone else to have the divorce/death drama- and we will ride into the sunset with our hot bald men! Sounds good to me!

  10. I’m still stuck on the “make pastries, get/stay thin” oxymoron that always reigns supreme in these works of OBVIOUS fiction!

    Is anyone surprised that I never made it past the food part?

  11. I smell a bestseller. Go ahead and write it. Um, never mind. Keep blogging instead. It’s fun to read your posts. I’m selfish that way.

  12. I’m pretty sure I’ve read that one.

  13. If you add a murder in, then you have just written the perfect mystery novel.

  14. Eat Pray Love, grazie! I’m laughing