Potty Torture: The Final Chapter

I am done with potty training Rex.

No, seriously, we’re finished. Finished as in, the kid is COMPLETELY potty trained.

I know, it seems only yesterday I was still fretting about getting him to the toilet on time (actually, it was only yesterday). But oh how grateful I am for things like the Holy Ghost, who apparently knows a lot more about potty training than I do.

We were away from home on Saturday night and the kids were with a babysitter. The entire time I was gone, Rex handled all his own bathroom business with no help. Not only did he decline assistance, but he refused to even let the babysitter in.

And here I’ve been fretting that he needs constant assistance because he never actually tells me when he needs to go. This experience, paired with a moment of undeniable revelation (the kind where some unseen mother’s helper yells in your ear really loudly), opened my eyes to the fact that he doesn’t tell me because he doesn’t want me to be there (yes, that’s what they yelled).

That’s right, I have a child who likes privacy. Man he’s gonna be hating life when he learns to read and discovers my blog. For the rest of his life, he’ll run into strangers who know the intimate details of his underpants’ history.

So yesterday morning I vowed to go the entire day without saying a single word to Rex about the toilet. Just let the kid wing it.

The result? His pants were dry all day. I have no idea when he was going to the bathroom, but now and then I’d find a toilet with yellow water and know that somehow, he’d snuck under my radar and used the potty. He even went to the Big House by himself. At one point, I finally had to come in and help him finish up (because he wasn’t sure how to wrap up his performance), but the entire time I was in there he was saying, “Go away Mom! Shut the door! Don’t come in here!”

He is so private, and so not related to me.


  1. I’m so glad he’s finally a man. Good job, mom.

  2. Yahoo! Glad it finally worked! Do you feel like a free woman now?

  3. You’ve passed a milestone! YES! I swear, potty training is the single worst part of motherhood.

  4. Go Rex! That’s great, I’m so glad you’re DONE!

  5. My brother-in-law once told me that there are two stages of potty training. First the kid learns to go on the toilet. Then (usually two years later) the kid learns to go by himself without a parent helping. I have found this to be true with all four of mine. And the second stage was harder than the first every time. BUT you just did both steps in one and should be heartily congratulated!!!!! Hurray!!!!

  6. Yay! My daughter’s ALMOST there, only every once in awhile does she have an accident. Phew. I hate potty training! Good for you!! (Hey, send those mother’s helpers my direction since your finished potty training now! Thanks!) 🙂

  7. I just found your blog! Love it! But, I DO NOT love potty training…so, I am doing a jig for you since you are DONE! We just finished potty training FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES a couple of months ago! Sweet freedom, I love you!!!!!

    Mrs. Nurse Boy

  8. Yeah, his potty training —with all his private issues –will definetly haunt him in years to come. Way to go Rex!!! Potty training is the worst, I would eventually tell my kids “you will do this” or I’m leaving it for your spouse to take care of. Consider it a wrap (wipe)

  9. Go Rex!

    If you ever need a babysitter……. I’m your girl, now that the boys are all trained. I would have never offered my services otherwise.

    Joke, I love those kids!

  10. Nice work, Mom!!!

    I love that he is his own little person.

    I see that little man coming out in my little boy too. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t.

  11. Dang, I’m dumb! As I read your post today I remembered that all my boys only really figured it out when I quit doing it for them and trusted them to do it on their own. They all still prefer that I trust them in the new experiences of their lives and give them space(privacy) to go through the experience with out interpreting it for them. I could have said something to you a week ago but you got it from a greater source then I.

    Way to go Mom!

  12. WOOO HOOOO!!!! Let the skid marks begin!!!

  13. I have nothing to say, because April’s comment says it all.

  14. So it worked out afterall? Awesome. And you missed a trip to my house for nothing. I’m just saying…

  15. hallelujah! One down, one to go…or maybe it’s two to go…

  16. annie valentine says:

    Oh yeah, he doesn’t even need a night time diaper, he’s that potty trained. He’s worn undies to bed for the last three nights – DRY.

  17. That’s exciting. There is nothing like the feeling of knowing your kid can defecate in the toilet….until they smear it all over the toilet before pulling up their pants without wiping and getting it all over the inside of their jeans and happily track the stench of crap throughout the house until you discover what has happened. Nothing like that feeling…..

  18. Oh man!! Lucky you. I’m trying and trying, and I just don’t feel free yet. My son will just randomly have an accident after being dry for days. And night time, NO WAY is he potty trained yet. He is 3 1/2. How old is Rex? And congrats! 🙂 I’m very envious.

  19. My twin nephews are five and anytime I’m around them I still hear, “Mom! (or Dad). Comem wipe my butt, please!” Sounds like you didn’t get that model. Nice!

  20. Love our Biggest Loser commentary–in case you were wondering:)

    Okay, yeah-I was glad Dave was kicked off, but so sad about Dan. At least he’s still working hard! And no-I did NOT like what Tara said. I mean, maybe a sentence or two telling him to man up—but a whole tirade?! Hello-you’re not the coach/trainer/producer. You’re there to lose weight—so just do that. I just feel like she’s TOO much. Trying to be in charge, and everyone’s false BFF, blah blah blah-I’m not fooled.

  21. Darn it!!! I was looking for a new entry already. Not feeling so “super-mom” ish right now, and I need a little “regarding annie” pick me up. This blog is my secret place I go to when I need to feel good about myself. Come on Annie, I’m waiting for another funny entry (said with a sassy tone of voice…..)!

  22. LOL…that is so me…not private at all! But neither are my kids…

    The above post about Biggest Loser…it really is just sad… 🙁

  23. Congrats!! I have to say, this post reminded me of one of my kids. . . either #1 or #2, I can’t remember now. . . but the kid always said, “Go out! I need my Private Seat!!” I loved that!