Twenty Inches of Marshmallow Cream

Twenty inches. When I hear twenty inches, I think of a cute picture frame, or a girl with fantastically long hair. But today, twenty inches is the bane of my existence, the very essence of Hell itself. My house has been bombarded with twenty inches of steadily falling snow AND IT’S STILL COMING.

Now I’ll be honest, in the three winter’s we’ve lived here, I have never lifted a shovel. Not because I’m a whimp, no sir. I was raised on a farm, I bucked hay and fed cows, and what do I have to show for it? A permanently broken back. That’s right, all that farm work really set me up for life.

And do you think Utards have ever heard of snow days? Of course not. This morning, it took us 40 minutes to get out of our driveway because we were so busy shoveling and pushing out the four dozen idiots who tried going up/down our hill with two-wheel drive. Even my Sequoia, with the best tires money can buy, couldn’t plow itself out this afternoon.

So what did I do? I took that ?#$% shovel and put my shoulder to the wheel. Ho-Ly crap. An hour later, I had barely shoveled out a path big enough for my car to plow through, and what did I have to show for it? Three inches of newly fallen snow.

So now if you’ll excuse me, I can feel my Loratab kicking in and I think I’d better go collapse. So much for picking up Jason from work today. The snow might not keep me down, but the pain killers certainly will.


  1. Holy crap! We;ve gotten barely a dusting!

  2. I am so sorry. We didn’t get pummeled nearly as badly down here. Let the Lortab do its thing and get some rest! Your poor back!

  3. Oh girl I feel for you, so sorry.

    I say just crawl back into bed, for a week if possible.

  4. Man, so sorry!!! This is soooo random, but your entry made me think of this (and I know I’ve told you before): “Cleaning the house while the children are growing, is like shoveling snow while it’s still snowing”. Love ya tons and tons. 😉

  5. wow, down in Lehi there is almost nothing. I am so sorry. I am so ready for spring I can’t even stand it.

  6. There’s is NO way I would still be living in this state if we were up that way!!! My language gets colorful when it snows too. Very. I hate the stuff!

  7. I have just come home from taking Shawn to work- Farr West to SLC no fun. There were several run offs!

  8. Um, so I took a walk to the beach today we had to strip of our sweatshirts because it was kinda hot. You should move here! We’ve got Mormons, too.

  9. My sympathies. We’ve had big puffy snowflakes all day long, but the instant it hits the ground, it’s gone. There isn’t even ice. It’s exactly the kind of snow I like – pretty and disappearing.

  10. I have to say that it’s the one thing I don’t miss about living in Zion. We moved to Idaho, aka cow country, a year and a half ago and I’ve discovered that my back loves me so much more when I don’t use it to shovel every 2 hours.

  11. Laurie Templeton says:

    You silly girl! how are you? Totally just got a kick out of reading your stuff:) My husband saw the article you wrote in the local paper and told me about your website.

  12. I too am very tired of the snow—(SCREAMING) very tired of the snow. Do you not have a snow bower!!!!! My hubby finally broke down 3 years ago and got one as he has a bad back too.
    p.s I like myself when I am in a drug induced stuper.

  13. ah, that would be SNOW BLOWER…not bower. I should check my spelling before I hit “submit” and I am NOT even on to the drugs yet.

  14. That is why I’m boycotting the shovel. It’ll just snow again anyway. Might as well get good and snowed in, and then I’ll have an excuse to sit on my arse all day eating bon bons and watching Oprah.

  15. Seriously! I was wondering about those “snow days.” I am really thinking they are mythical. I’ve never seen one/experienced one. Sorry your back kills. My hubby is kind enough to let me do most of the shoveling so I have developed my shovel-muscle pretty well. Thankfully I have a neighbor with a snowplow that lurves me and he takes care of my sidewalk. I just have to do the driveway and the walkway, which is still a lot. You would think I was in better shape. Sorry I am rambling. I’ll stop my comment now!

  16. Sorry! We were in Provo last year and I had to shovel EVERY STUPID DAY, or we’d all fall on our rears getting in the car. Now that we’re in NC, everything has changed. First, we have a garage, so no scraping, ever. and secondly, it barely snows here, and if it does, they cancel school. I’m talking 2 inches, that melts by noon, and the whole county is shut down, and then they get a late start the next day. huh??

    Sorry you have to deal with that garbage! Snow is something I will never miss!

  17. I gave up after I shoveled the driveway for THE SECOND TIME, and was wetter than a drowned rat! My driveway looked like it hadn’t even been shoveled. Grrr.

    We have now hunkered down for the long haul.

    No school for you!! (said in my best soup Nazi voice!)

  18. You could move here to New Zealand, we are having Summer now and we don’t get any snow during the winter.

  19. I still mock people that have ‘snow days.’ Light-weights; all of them.
    That being said—20 inches is definitely too much. I’m done with the snow. And in defiance, I washed my car today….and it snowed RIGHT after. Awesome.

  20. ok I just have to say that mentioning Marshmallow cream as a teaser was mean. I could think of nothing better than 20 inches of marshmallow cream, unless it has chocolate on it and all you wrote about was plain old snow – boo!

  21. I’m with Kristin. Snow doesn’t even have a flavor.

  22. You need a snowblower girl! Forget the best tires money can buy! It is even snowing in Waldorf today! (and the kids are in school, can you believe it)

  23. ARG!!!!

  24. I am officially sick and tired of snow and winter.

    (And the only thing better than having a snowblower is having three teenage boys who are old enough to use it.)

  25. If you are interested in an alternative that can beat alot of snow blowers see the site…the Univ. of Mass. did an independent study on the wheeled shovels, looking at exertion (for heart risk) and lower back disk compression and found in their study a 75-85% reduction respectively…hangs on the wall like a shovel (or even folds up) and can beat most single stage snow blowers, and works in any conditions (even slush)..take a look