My name is Annie Valentine, and I’m a wife, a mother, and a freelance writer. My weekly newspaper column, Regarding Annie, can be found in Montesano, Washington’s The Vidette, and Ogden, Utah’s Standard Examiner where I also write as a Top Of Utah Voices columnist. I also do a monthly piece for the online blogging ezine, The Barrel, and would love to do more freelance if I didn’t have so many hungry children to wait on (sandwiches don’t make themselves–yet).
My filing cabinet says I hold a bachelor’s degree in journalism, the lazy writer’s choice. While the English majors were turning in twelve pages, we were turning in twelve inches.
I was raised on a farm in Washington State, and have lived on both the East and West Coasts, as well as a few places in between. My husband works for the federal government (currently Air Force), and has promised a lifetime of thrilling adventure.
We’ve been in Germany since July 2011 and are taking it one day at a time. I have learned that words like “thrill” and “adventure” routinely make things more complicated.
With four small children, Harrison, Rex, June and Georgia, my life is a compilation of love, affection, and frequent bouts of screaming. I write about the good, the bad and the routinely stinky.
If you have any questions, comments or would like a signature, please email me at regardingannie@gmail.com. I will happily send you my signature on a clean, size 4, disposable Huggies Diaper, free of charge.
The following links represent the online version of Regarding Annie.
“Who Let The Air Out?” – “So a week before I weaned the baby I went out and bought a cartload of new bras. My old nursing bras were so stretched and worn that the only support they offered was a comfortable shoulder strap for my children to cry on…”
“You Know You’re In Redneck Country When…” – “We drove across Florida, Alabama and Louisiana yesterday and boy was it obvious. The first hint that we weren’t in Kansas anymore came as we barreled down the freeway (speed limit 70 MPH) and three children ran across all three lanes RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. Jason slammed on his brakes and we barely missed them…”
“My New Down There Doc” – “Today I visited a new lady doctor. It was a guy…”
“Spent” – “I have been alone for somewhere around 125 days now. That’s 125 evenings without someone to talk to while making dinner, without someone to boss around during bath time, without someone to watch The Office with, without someone…”
“No Embarazada” – “It’s amazing the things they put in Spanish these days. Take pregnancy tests, for example. Just in case you don’t feel bad enough in English, they double up and write it in Spanish as well, just to be sure you get the message…”
Here are some nice things I paid people to say about me.
“I have enjoyed reading your column every week–you are very gifted and true to life. I usually read The Vidette on my lunch hour and can’t help but laugh as I read your column. Thanks for putting such levity into my day, especially since everything is such gloom and doom around the economy lately. Hope you continue to write and maybe even consider doing a book – your writing certainly relates to new moms and even us grandmothers! Thanks again and keep up the good work!” Vickie
“Ohh..you are too funny. You kill me. You know what I love even more?? Just the thoughts of your husband really knowing what he was in for when he married you. This stuff is great!! I’m going to call my mom right now and read the article to her!!!” Adrienne
“Ha Ha you crack me up…my 4 year old came in to ask me why I was laughing. She also pointed to your picture on your page and said ‘Who is this?’ and I said ‘Her name is Annie Valentine.’ To that she said ‘That is a pretty name for a Mommy.’ I agree. Love your stories. The joys of motherhood…” Bree
