I’m An Attention Whore

Okay, you got me. I am guilty of wanting my man to PAY ATTENTION. 

The first night I got to Georgia, we went out for dinner and dancing with a group of Jason’s buddies. These are high caliber guys, possibly some of the most impressive, well-rounded individuals I’ve ever met. Most of them are married–nice settled men with wives, and in some cases, children. A few of them are single and dashingly secret agent cute (let me know if you’re single and smart and living on the East Coast–I have single secret agent connections).

The few women around are really nice girls, but given the current situation (mostly men) I think that as a whole, those men are seriosuly starved for female attention.

As a female who is suffering from a lack of male attention, being on the base with Jason was the biggest perk ever. I swear I could have weighed 400 pounds with moles on my face and I would have turned heads.

Walking on the compound kind of made my day. Jason actually apologized in advance for the fact that men might stare at me, because we all know how much I would hate that. Hello? Have you met me? Oh no, please don’t whistle, I just can’t take it. Well okay, if you must. 

Come on, I would probably pay to have some random pervert make eyes at me. We all know I’m an attention whore. 

But life is funny. I’ve found that most men (if you do not fall into this category, try very hard not to rub it in) aren’t very good at giving the women closest to them sincere compliments. They either say, “Honey, you’re always beautiful to me,” which we all know is a cop out I’m-not-really-paying-attention-to-you-and-don’t-care-how-you-look response, or they don’t say anything.

We can knock ourselves out to wow and woo them, and they’ll stand there oblivious to our cleavage and ask if we remembered to pick up the dry cleaning. We’re women, our lives are whacko. If we actually take the time to get dolled up and manage to smell like something other than stinky diapers, hand sanitizer, or laundry detergent, we expect a little attention for it. 

Sometimes I think guys need to be reminded that we may look 28, 37, 44 or 61 on the outside, but on the inside we still feel about 18. We’re still hoping someone will want to dance with us at the prom, still wishing our hair was straight not curly, or red not brown, and still worrying about our bra size. 

If the men in our lives don’t take us out for a little salsa dancing now and then, who will? Whether you’re in the sacrifice my body for babies stage, the sacrifice my car for soccer stage, or the sacrifice my wallet for college tuition stage, life seems bent on stifling us. 

So if you haven’t been treated to a little attention, I say ask for it. Go to a play, get some sushi, buy new perfume. Take a class together, go hunting, or play frisbee.

Remember the movie Phenomenon, with John Travolta? Remember how he bought The Closer lady’s rocking chairs? We’ve all got rocking chairs, and most men would be happy to purchase them if they only knew how. Tell him what you need, you’re worth it.

And don’t hint.


Comments

  1. I love that part about Phenomon. I will definatly take this advice.

    p.s.
    I’m sure all the guys thought you were so beautiful because not only are you physically but also I bet they could pick up on the fact that you are a wonderful person.

  2. Annie V,
    I love the rocking chairs metaphor!!!! Well…..I look forward to regularly reading your stuff. The Becca grapevine tells me that you’ll be joining us.
    Girdle and all.

    Pat

  3. Yeah! Amen. I am the luckiest girl in the world because I have a guy who buys my chairs. And hey — I deserve it!

  4. I learned a long time ago that hints don’t work. And, I’m not a failure to have to say it straight up. He actually likes it when I tell him EXACTLY what I want.

    Go figure.

  5. I’m sitting in my bath, getting ready for a big night of one-on-one “Salsa Dancing” in my bed. At the same time, I’m reading this post to my hubby. We just had a related conversation because he failed to notice my new hair cut/color.

    Here’s the downer to the story. . . my bathroom shares a wall with my baby’s room (he’s 4, but believe me, he’s still a baby) I just woke him up, reading this blog out loud, so now hubby is trying to get him back to sleep. . .

    Did I fail to mention that the baby is sick and has been for a week and hubby has been sleeping on the couch with him, so I can get decent sleep?

    Oh why, oh why did I read this aloud, trying to hint to hubby what I wanted (which you said NOT TO DO as your last sentence!!) Why did I not realize that I had a man taking good care of me, although not complimenting my new hair cut/color, when he was with the baby on the couch? Oh, it is so hard being a woman.

    I’d better go put on my see through salsa outfit to make up for this one!

  6. The chair metaphor has totally become shorthand in my friend’s family. If they can see a couple is clicking in a movie or real life, whatever, they always say knowingly, “He bought her chairs.” I’m lucky enough to have one of those great attention-giving husbands but we fell into a non-date-night-having slump after the baby came and as much as I wanted him to think of re-initiating them on his own, I gently pointed it out and was a much happier wife for doing so. Great advice.

  7. You know me – I don’t hint. I’m definitely the squeaky wheel. I figure if you want him to do/say/act different you’d better spell it out for them. Eventually they start to get the picture.

  8. I know but I hate to have to ask! Shouldn’t he know me well enough to know what I want?! Stupid y chromosome.

  9. Thanks for this great advice. Maybe one day I’ll use it! 🙂

  10. You SO nailed that…I’m exactly the same way! 🙂

  11. Deanne Jacobs says:

    I’ve missed you Annie! I’ve been away a bit too long. How is it that you always write just for me?

  12. Last Christmas, I told my husband that I only wanted 3 things: caller id (yes, we live in a time warp), a new cookie scoop (really for him, I don’t love cookies), and a juicer. The $5 kind that I can make grapefruit juice with on my counter, with my own two hands. My daughters were appalled. “How, how can you not want to be surprised?” they demanded. I replied (wisely, if I must say so myself) “Never underestimate the surprise of getting exactly what you want for Christmas.”

    I’m sort of a genius, huh?

    p.s. — i got it all and was very delighted (and a little surprised).

  13. *clap clap clap clap clap*

    Yes, we all feel 18. Amen and amen.

    Can I get this in a printable version?

  14. You nailed this one, girl!

  15. you are right on the money! i love that movie and so does my hubby so maybe we’ll watch that as part of my attention getting…