You Know You’re in Red-Neck Country When…

We drove across Florida, Alabama and Louisiana yesterday and boy was it obvious. The first hint that we weren’t in Kansas anymore came as we barreled down the freeway (speed limit 70 MPH) and three children ran across all three lanes RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. Jason slammed on his brakes and we barely missed them.

I wanted him to pull the truck over so I could spank their naughty bums, but like all men, he was in a hurry to get where he was going and refused me.

As we continued down I20 at a brisk 76 MPH, an old thrashed pickup truck flew past us–with a ten-year-old kid in the back bed of the truck, hair flying and cheeks flapping. He waved.

And just before we hit the Texas border, we saw a truck pulled over to the side of the busy freeway and witnessed three men peeing alongside the road.

I have to admit, all three incidents happened in Louisiana. I will try with all my might to block said memories from my mind. Jason assures me that New Orleans isn’t all that bad, but as we left I made him punch up the cruise control to 80.

We’re leaving Witchita Falls, TX  in 15 minutes. Westward ho.


  1. Holy crap. What loons. 🙂

  2. that sounds awesome! 🙂 Except for the kids running across the interstate…yikes!

  3. That sounds like Louisiana- scary!

  4. scary! Kids in the road! What madness. Oh I read your article in the Ensign, loved it.

  5. Uh. I’m from Louisiana. I’m trying to come up with a defense. I got nothin’.

    Oh, wait. I know! If you pulled over to eat anywhere (that’s not a chain), you’d forgive the whole state almost anything on the strength of the food.

    So there.

  6. How come when I make this drive, the most exciting thing that happens is we left Heather in Texas? That is so amazing! I’m jealous you experienced the wildlife. But then, we actually did stop in New Orleans. That made my life complete.

  7. I have Willie Nelson singing in my head “On the Road Again” in your behalf. Good thing you blogged this, because you know your kids will never remember, and they wouldn’t believe you if you tried to remind them.

    Come home safely!

  8. Annie, you don’t have to call yourself a ho because you’re from the west..I love ya!

  9. Sounds charming.

  10. Did you take any pictures for the scrapbook of your trip? Just wondering. Happy and safe traveling. How is it going being cooped up in a car with three small children for days at a time? Actually I can imagine it is not pretty.

  11. I’m sure you could see similar things here in Utah. Hahaha

  12. That’s funny I just heard from another friend of mine that as she drove through Texas she saw this bleach blonde lady beating her kids next to a truck on the side of the freeway. Did you see them- oh wait.

    Come home!

  13. Ok now, don’t go judging us Texans by those 3 men peeing on the side of the road..hahaha. We took that same trip during the Spring and it was rather interesting to see how ‘southern’ everything was in Louisiana. You should have called me. You were only about 10 hours away from us…lol. Texas is such a huge state.

  14. I’m sure they were road construction workers because once I asked my husband about the lack of port-a-potties out on his job… Some things are better left unasked.
    And I’ve never been to Louisiana. Thanks for the warning.

  15. Oh come on Annie – where’s your sense of adventure? That was probably some really fun game those kids were playing. Frankly, it all sounds rather exciting to me – especially the part about the men peeing. Three at once! Wow. Chance of a lifetime, that one. You should be counting your lucky stars you were at the right place at the right time.

    I’m so jealous.

  16. Deanne Jacobs says:

    Still Laughing…..

  17. I am from east Texas, where I assure you we pee on the road only at night. Good luck on the rest of the journey…

  18. You know that really explains why Jeremy is the way he is! His Dad was born and raised in Louisiana and I think he passed that on to Jeremy. Please let Tyler pick up on my habits not his dads!!!