I was just talking to my girlfriend, Kadi, who is prego with numero tres. With a few months left, she’s already saying “Uncle” to thoughts of baby number four. 

As I contemplate the possibility of a fourth pregnancy sometime this year, I can’t help remembering my desperate desire for number one. For two years we tried and tried, all the while I mooned over other pregnant tummies, filled my virtual shopping cart with maternity clothing before sadly clicking away, and religiously took in episodes of “A Baby Story”. 

I had an oven that wanted a bun and I was sure nothing in the world could be more romantic than being pregnant. Glowing, growing, and pregnant. 

But this time, I find myself pulling the pillow over my head every time I think about those swollen ankles and the Loratab for my broken back. I keep trying to forget where my bin of maternity clothing is in hopes that maybe this time, I won’t actually ever show. I ran across a pair of maternity jeans this week and actually started to have a panic attack. They were just so…ugly. 

I know I’m horrible and insensitive for saying all this, and maternity jeans or no, I will sacrifice the body/soul/wardrobe for the sake of our future family and that one last spirit who I’m certain is chomping at the bit to get here with no thought to my broken back or swollen feet. Bless her little heart. Or his. Whatever.

And no, I’m not pregnant. Just contemplating.


  1. Sure those 9 months are hard, but I’ve seen your babies. You’re doing the world a favor by having them. So, thank you. Do us all a favor and have another spectacular specimen.

  2. annie valentine says:

    Camille you darling, how sweet. It takes a lot of practice to make cute kids, we work really hard at it.

  3. Coming over from the Funny Farm…I agree with the maternity pants….why do they have to do so gosh darn ugly!??

    Although when you are pining for another little one, like I, you would wear them everyday if you got another one.

    Your site is really cute! I’m gonna follow you!!

  4. OK so your aren’t blogger with the niffy follow button so I’m gonna add you to my roll….how cool are you?!!

  5. I’m going to need detailed updates and reports about how this trying goes. Thanks.

  6. Oh yes, details and frequent reports are a must! I will live vicariously through you. :p

  7. Better you than me my friend, better you than me.

  8. Um. I don’t know what to say. I cannot relate.. at all.

    It’s always a good night…. mwah, ha, ha.

  9. My philosophy is to have them while you can and while you are young!!!! Especially while you are young!!! I miss those days. True story!

  10. You are brave and HONEST. . . if I ever contemplate a 6th the panic attack puts me in my bed for a week, so I probably should have some sort of surgery~ I will applaud your effort though, have fun trying!

  11. I’m right there with you. We know there’s another one, at least, but judging by how incredibly much worse my circulation has (okay, fine, my veins have) gotten with each pregnancy, I’m pretty sure this one will be AWFUL. The last one was AWFUL, so this one will be HORRIFIC. But it must be done. I just hope I won’t have to be on bedrest or giving myself heparin shots ever day. . .

  12. Oh, I so understand. I’ve so been there, done that. Even the craving part. And now I’m 10 years past my last and I’m starting to crave the bun again. Oh dear.

  13. I just like how you worked your “broken back” into this post.


    (I’ll be waiting for the call…)

  14. I am SO glad that part of my life is over. (And it better stay that way!!) I have zero desire.

  15. Just so you know, it’s totally different to get pregnant at 128 and deliver at 160 than to start and 160 and deliver at 200. You now fall into the first category-get pregnant with no fear. Even maternity jeans look cute then! You’re just an adorable mommy with a tummy…check out seriously so blessed, boy does that woman really know how to keep the blessed adorableness going while preggo 🙂 That’ll be YOU!!

  16. I have this recurring nightmare that I’m pregnant with twins. It’s really scary.

  17. Kelly has a really good point. When I picture myself getting pregnant again (not happening) I picture myself getting uber skinny first so that I’m one of those cute, nothing but a baby bump and hotness everywhere else moms. I would die if I got pregnant at the weight I’m at right now, but I would lOVE to get preggo if I was as in shape as you are!

  18. In addition to making cute babies you give them cute names—so really, you must not stop quite yet:)

    And also, I’m really excited for the season premier of Biggest Loser tonight. In case you were wondering:)

  19. Whenever I get that feeling, I start giving away all my baby stuff. The box of maternity clothes was shipped to my sister months ago. Someone in my ward has all the baby clothes.
    You could try it.
    Of course, the day I give away the crib I’ll pee two pink lines.
    P.S. Since I don’t have TV you’ll have to tell me all about the Biggest Loser in your blog tomorrow.
    I guess my sister-n-law started crying because they moved YM/YW to Tuesday in her ward and she is going to miss it! This must be a great show!

  20. Hi Annie, My daughter #4 just moved back home from Arizona a couple months ago, to our house and look for a place to rent with her family. She is:

    She said on her blog, “I guess two lines mean my Eggo is Prego. This is not what we had in our plans for 2009 but babies are a blessing and we are happy to have our new addition coming this July or August.”

    Of course sibling #3 couldn’t keep quiet about it, I think she screamed. So did I—Happy, but then I said, “You did that in our house?” She’s been married for just over eight years.

    She threw a few lines back at me. They were two pink ones on this thing that looked like a thermometer.

    Love your blog-actually the clothes are darling, don’t use the old ones. blog love and hugs

  21. Thanks for visiting my site. We are Air Force. We are now in Alaska, if you couldn’t tell by the page.

    How come I can’t click on your name and it will take me to your site? Is that a wordpress thing too? I’m so outta he wordpress loop!

  22. I’m totally there… except that we are considering number FIVE… and rather than back issues, I throw up the entire time and shrivel up into a tiny little rail with a bump in the front. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? I’m in if you are!

  23. You know what?…I love your blog. It is the only one I really really read and make a point to go to. Every single time I go to someone else’s blog I leave with feelings of jealousy, resentment, depression, and more…blah blah blah. But not with yours. I leave feeling refreshed, understood (yet, I’m not talking to you, I’m ready about you…but still, I feel understood), and even empowered sometimes. Annie, you have an amazing talent and I seriously talk about you all the time to people. I enjoyed your article in the Dec. 08 Ensign. I read your blog super late at night when I am feeling rather low, and no…I don’t care that others can read what I’ve written you. Just keep doing what you are doing. I’m truly enjoying it. 🙂

  24. And yes, I understand about the pregnancies. I have 2 busy kids who fight fight fight. Yet, I KNOW that there are more to come. I’m still fat from the last pregnancy. Oh dear, what’s a 30 old girl to do?

  25. I’m with Alison. I will say that having 3 kids to having 4 kids was one of the easiest transitions. Going from 2 to 3 and from 4 to 5 were the worst for me. So, go with an even number – except not me because I like my minivan.

  26. annie valentine says:

    Rachel, I love you. That was the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me in my comment box, or in person, for that matter. Thank you so much.