Sleeping With Jack Bauer

So here’s the thing. After four straight hours of 24 (because I saved the first two taped hours that aired in November until last night) and a lot of ruminating about Old Jack in general, I have something to say.

Personally, Keifer Sutherland does nothing for me. He’s not particularly attractive in any way, shape, or form, he’s kind of short, his body is average, all in all, the man is blah.

Until he pulls out a gun and says, “I’m Jack Bauer. You’re alive only because I say so.”

Um, hello? When did cold-blooded, willing to stick a pen in your ear to get information behavior become so completely attractive? Of all the special agents I know, Jack is kind of the specialist.

When Jack goes into play, everything he does is raw and harsh and “I’ll bite your ear off if you don’t tell me where the bomb is!” It’s so worthy. And of course, the entire time I watch him I think, “I wonder if Jason could do that?” Because come on, let’s face it.

Jack is good for Jason’s love life.

I gotta say, the moment we enter a mall/sporting event/Cafe Rio, I am instantly aware that at any given moment, a terrorist might try to take us down. And if that happens (Heaven forbid but not really), I am confident that my husband has seen enough episodes of 24 to perform accordingly (and I have seen enough episodes to know that my role is to quickly hide inside a garbage can until the coast clears).

Because we all know that in times of crisis, all special agents should ask themselves one question: What Would Jack Do?


  1. Oh my gosh. I love you.

    With my post on Friday, I got lots of comments like, “Kiefer Sutherland? Really?”

    And then I had to explain that I do not want to have an affair with Kiefer. I want to have an affair with Jack Bauer. Women who love Jack totally get it and understand the difference. I actually don’t like Kiefer, but give me some Jack any day.

  2. annie valentine says:

    Kristina – How did I miss that post? I read all your posts. And yes, this is why we are such good friends.

  3. My friends and I (and husband before he was my husband) used to wait until after the season came out on dvd and watch the ENTIRE season at once. This was during college and we’d stay up all night. It was some of the best times ever. I love Jack. When my husband was looking to buy a hand gun, he showed me which one was “Jack’s gun.” I thought it was cute.

  4. I don’t even watch 24, but after reading this, I think I’m in love with Jack Bauer too! 😉

  5. I’ve never seen the show, but the way you have described Jack Bauer…ooohh baby, I’m getting shivers. Tie me up and capture me, I’ve been a naughty terrorists..grrrr…

  6. I totally hear ya and feel the same way!!! He does NOTHING for me…but I feel like I know how to answer a phone like a secret Agent and how to conference people in, “Hey Annie, there is Crash and Shelle also on the call”


  7. Okay, I give up. I’m goign to have to get caught up on this show. Sheesh.

  8. I have never seen 24. Does that make me a communist or a mennonite or something?

    Don’t answer that.

  9. I’ve also never seen 24 but the same reasoning applies to my boyfriend Jason Statham. I know on an intellectual level that he’s not the hottest thing out there. But seriously, have you seen his movies? That guy is all man.

  10. Okay…I’m a little confused here…if your spy husband is so stinking hot…why are you constantly writing about so many other men…
    Jack Bauer, Hugh Jackman,Brad Pitt…?

  11. See-and Keifer is much more attractive to me in Young Guns.

  12. annie valentine says:

    China Eye – So, I’m only allowed to think one guy in the whole world is hot? Crap. Who to choose…

  13. I’ve never seen 24…gasp away! But I have seen law and order! So while you are hiding in a garbage can, I will be representing my son in court over a wreckless driving charge. wish me luck!

  14. Do you think 24 was madatory material at Spy School?

  15. This is how I feel about Jack Bauer. We love 24!

  16. I’m glad I read the comments this time. I feel so much better about admitting that I have never seen 24. We will have to see if we have the same taste in men or not. I’ve never been a Brad Pitt fan and I only think Hugh Jackman is O.K.

  17. Came to your blog by way of Anniethology, enjoyed way to much time reading your fun posts! I’m sure I’ll be stalking by often;)

  18. Annie, Annie, Annie. You gotta get it right! It’s not “What would Jack Do?’
    It’s “What Would Jack Bauer Do?” WWJBD! There are so many average Jack’s out there, you would not want to confuse people!

  19. I was a rabid 24 watcher until the episodes went TV14 and then parental controls blocked it.

    We are doing this “lead by example” thing in our house lately.

    It sucks.

  20. omg…i want to have an affair with kiefer not jack. i think jack is great but kiefer is who ive been in lust with for years. from head to toe…and lets not forget the voice…ive wanted him since young guns!

  21. When I saw the title of this blog story –I got all excited I didn’t know if it was an invitation or sign up sheet involved. I’ve got my husband watching with me this season and I’ll have to suggest to him to pay close attention so he can act accordingly in a threatening situation. HA HA I laughed my face off about how Jack is good for Jason’s love live. Way to go!!!!