So I was driving home tonight listening to Coast to Coast. In case you’ve never been on a lonely road in the wee small hours of the morning with nothing but talk radio to keep you company, let me explain.
Coast to Coast is a show where old men talk about UFO’s, ghosts, sasquaches, and other odd cultural phenomenons. It’s a very serious, very proper show, with very serious, very proper discussions.
So the host and his guest, two men in their sixties, are discussing life after death experiences and decide to go to the phone lines.
“You’re on the air,” they say.
“Hi,” this woman says, “I just wanted to call in because I have an extra set of nipples.”
Whoa. Did she just say what I think she said? I crank the volume.
“Oh! Well, that’s…very unusual,” says Host One.
“Yes, very unusual indeed, I don’t know that I’ve ever heard of anyone having more than three nipples!” says Host Two.
“Well,” she says, “They’re small. Kind of like baby nipples.”
ARE YOU JOKING ME?
“Really? Have you ever had them looked at by a doctor?” Host One.
“Yes, I’m sure a doctor would find that very interesting. You know, some mamals have as many as twelve nipples.” Host Two.
“No, not that I can remember,” she says. “They’re not that noticable. They’re only about a centimeter across.”
ARE THEY REALLY HAVING THIS CONVERSATION??
“Well, you should have someone look at those,” Host One.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t think he was suggesting what she thought he was suggesting.
“Well, I can have my brother take a photo with his digital camera and I’ll send it to you, if you want.”
Right. Your brother. With his camera. Kill me now.
“Oh! Yes! That would be very interesting!”
“Very interesting indeed!”
I guess it just goes to show that no matter how old and distinguished and proper a gentleman is, he’s still a man. And what man doesn’t want to meet a woman with four nipples?