A word about lingerie

So I went to my little SIL’s bridal shower about a week ago.

I love shopping for bridal shower presents. Don’t ask me why, but when I got married the entire planet gave me lingerie. We’re talking sweet old ladies I had grown up with, gals who usually give things like salad bowls and cheese graters, pulled out all the appliances and bought me bedroom wear.

But here’s the thing about lingerie. When you’re first married, lingerie sounds so exciting and fun–until you try to wear it. I can remember a few key instances where I felt kind of idiotic, like when you wear your Halloween costume to school thinking everyone else will too, but end up being the only person who is dressed like a hobo because everyone else decided to leave their stuff at home. Kind of like that. No matter what says, being trussed up like a gaudy birthday present isn’t always comfortable.

So we started talking about lingerie at the shower, and I realized I’m not the only married woman who feels this way. Because here’s the thing. Even if you manage to wear lingerie successfully (not like you can actually fail) before you have kids, once your body morphs and changes,we sometimes find ourselves left with new bulges and sorry flat areas that aren’t so conducive to studded leather (kidding, Mother).

Shouldn’t there be an alternative? Something that doesn’t make you feel like a cream puff? For those of you who have given up sexiness for naught, or accepted it as a thing of the past, I offer this rather modest alternative. Something that only hints at sexy without getting all lacey about it.

The next time you and your legal other put the kids to bed and sit down to watch The Office, or DWTS, or 24, try showing up at the couch in a tight T-shirt (minus the underwire) and some lacey boy shorts. Nothing that threads, nothing that pulls, just a simple T-shirt and some cute comfy undies. Hey, he might not even notice (ha ha ha!).

Because if you don’t bring sexy back into your romance now, you might never find it again, and that would be a crying shame. No matter how you think you look, remember that hot isn’t a dress size, it’s a mindset. So go be hot again, for you, for him.

Hey, there’s nothing like a new game plan.


  1. Somewhat off-topic, but my bridal shower didn’t have anything nearly so interesting. I was one of the first to get married among my friends, so I got random useless things like a basket with plastic fruit and a paring knife for romantic picnics (?!) and KY Jelly. Niiice.

  2. I once got “gussied” up for the husband, and he just laughed. And you know what, it was ridiculous! I felt like a 2 cent hooker.

  3. I, too, got lots of lingerie, and I have never worn any of it. After 14 years of marriage, what really gets my hubby going is just what you suggested: a tight v-neck white tee and my yoga pants. Which, incidentally, is what I sleep in every night!

  4. A twist on the same idea – My husband loves it (always has) when I wear his button up shirts and little or nothing else. Sexy without being skin tight on the UGH areas.

  5. I don’t love buying lingerie for other people. It’s sort of odd.

    I think if I wore lingerie one night, my husband’s head would explode, It’s been a long time.

  6. Love that line, “hot isn’t a dress size, it’s a mindset”. So true! Even being a size 20, my hubby ADORES me in anything lacy. He loves me for how I make HIM feel. That’s the best part – him loving me because I love him!

  7. And glad you’re back Annie. I was going thru withdrawls. Seriously. I was checking your blog a few times daily to get my fix!

  8. My guy likes that the best anyway… a tee or tank top with lacey boy shorts! πŸ™‚

    But he also loves when I put on one of his button down shirts…

    anyway… nice topic! lol

  9. I loved this post. Especially about keeping the sexy in your marriage and having it be a mindset. Thank you for this.

  10. Thanks, Annie, for this post! After having my 4th baby I never feel like I’m EVER sexy, although thanks to your mom I know I will never tell my husband that! I love the ideas you all gave of stuff to wear….I can still act like a newlywed even if I don’t dress like one πŸ™‚

  11. I only got two pieces of lingerie at my shower, I was SO embarassed, and they weren’t even bad, they were basically slips. Now, I LOVE lingerie, but more along the lines of what you’re saying, not the type you have tie up and you look stupid, something thats flattering and sexy. So fun!

  12. I want to comment, but I don’t think it’s safe as mother will read it. I keep typing, and erasing. Besides, it’s not like we haven’t already talked about this.

  13. Well said! You know, a while ago I actually decided (while walking past Victoria’s Secret in the mall) that lingerie was invented by women with body issues. It wasn’t until AFTER I’d had children and wanted to hide certain areas that I really began to appreciate the beauty of a piece of pretty material that covers me up where I want to be covered and lifts me up in other places, etc.

  14. I still like lingerie. What can I say, he doesn’t mind, new bulges and all. But I think there are some types of lingerie that never should be worn even before you have babies. But I’m a weirdo. I love underwires and tight clothes.

    So did you get Hayley lingerie?

  15. Funny that you post this on the day I went through my drawer to get rid of a bunch of stuff that I never wear. My daughter wanted to know where I got all those pretty panties and why do I never wear them. Besides, if you’re LDS then anything other than the “norm” is awfully sexy. Hanes, fruit of the loom, if it doesn’t hit the knee- It’s HOT!

  16. I just really appreciate the “mindset” comment. Sometimes I think the focus is on the “sexy and slutty” look, and the focus should be on the relationship, enjoying each other. It’s hard to do after children and well…life.
    So keep the focus on each other and the fun stuff is easier to find.

  17. Fun post, Annie. Hope you are recovered from your trip and sunburned center. πŸ™‚

  18. AMEN——–excuse me while I pull that thong out of my butt

  19. I once tried making dinner in something lacey and all I ended up with was an ice cold rear end- definitely not sexy.