I AM A COLUMNIST!

That’s right, you are now reading the words of a soon to be well-known weekly newspaper columnist. Well-known is a relative term here. I don’t actually mean hordes of readers are going to flock to the The Vidette simply to read my stuff, I mean that the few people who actually read it will get to know me really well.

I actually do have some credentials here, a journalism degree isn’t easy to come by. Oh who am I kidding. I went with Journalism because instead of those English Majors who had to write 16 page papers, we only had to write 16 inches. It was VERY EASY to come by. I just never thought I’d actually use it.

But here I am, using using using. Throwing that diploma and my short list of published articles in every editor’s face in hopes that he or she (as it turned out to be) would just publish me already.

Let me tell you, this has been a long hard process. I don’t care how big or small a paper is, editors get dozens of queries a week from hopeful columnists. Anyone who’s ever freelanced or tried to get published knows that as my friend Brandon Mull (popular author of the Fablehaven series) once told me, this industry is designed to keep people out.

(Brandon Mull isn’t actually a personal friend, more like a personal friend of an acquaintance of mine that I got permission to email when I had writing questions and couldn’t find an answer anywhere else on the internet. He’s written back to me both times, however, so I feel that I can safely drop his name whenever humanly possible to make myself look cool.)

Anyway. I have been planning to take the newspaper industry by storm for the past nine months, and in fact only started blogging to see if I could actually write a column and if anyone would ever want to read it. So if you are reading this, YOU ROCK.

And if you live in Washington, specifically the Grays Harbor County area, more specifically East County (serving Montesano, Elma and McCleary), then please subscribe to The Vidette TODAY. No really, myself and My Editor would both wholeheartedly appreciate it. Oh my gosh. I HAVE AN EDITOR.

This is just the beginning. Soon, small weekly newspapers across the country will carry a humorous column about an often overdramatic blond girl and her three or four children and Poor Husband. I will be epidemic! Wait, that might be the wrong word, but it actually fits there so I’ll just go with it.

(PS – You’ll have to wait until after publication to get my weekly article. She’s not going to publish it on her website because then why would anyone buy her paper? See? I’m a MAJOR DRAW. I knew being Miss Grays Harbor 1997 would finally pay off.)