Why You Should Never Name Your Child After a Famous Actor

Harrison (5) needs a stage. The kid could have told me he was Hamlet this morning and I probably would have believed him. 

Last night he slept the last half of the evening in my bed (a bad habit my children have developed in the absence of their father–I’m lonely and like to snuggle so I can’t blame it entirely on them) and I noticed he was coughing quite a bit. #’s two and three both had colds this last week so it was inevitable that Harrison would catch the cough. 

So this morning he wanted to stay home from school. This is our first “My kid is sick and I’m letting him stay home” day. These days make me nervous. I don’t want him thinking a little cough here and there can get you out of coloring, no siree buddy boy, kindergarten is crucial to a person’s academic development. I should know, my sister Jenny practically skipped her entire kindergarten year and look how she turned out?

Anyway, I agree he can stay home. At 8:15 the neighbor kids knock on the door. They wait for the bus at my house on Tuesdays and Thursdays because their mom has class. I usher them in and Harrison runs (runs) into the front room, throws himself on the couch in front of them and starts hacking up a lung, rolling around on the couch like a slug recently exposed to salt. At first I thought perhaps he’d gotten into some asbestos or something when I wasn’t looking, his cough took such a rapid turn for the worse.

That’s when I realized it. He’s exactly like me. He needs a portable stage. 

Of course, there are few things more obnoxious than seeing our own “traits” manifested in our children. I think my eyes got stuck at one point I rolled them so much during the bus wait. For fifteen minutes he moaned, he groaned, he rolled around hacking and hacking and hacking. His throat wasn’t sore before but I’ll bet it is now. 

The second his friends left for the bus he hopped up, sauntered into the kitchen and said, “What’s for breakfast? I’m hungry.” 

Here’s your Oscar kid, now siddown.


  1. “like a slug recently exposed to salt”!! Love that. Drama drama drama!

  2. Hilarious! We have over dramatic little actors in our family too! Lane missed a lot of school when he was younger, but now that he’s almost 12 I’m forcing him to “man-up”. He starts coughing and I give him a squirt of chloraseptic and a cough drop and kick him in the rear out to the bus. Then, I sit at home all day worrying that he’s possibly too sick after all.

    BTW, have I ever told you how much I LOVE Harrison’s name? All your kids have great names, actually…

  3. My kids got into our bucket of asbestos once, now we keep it on top of the fridge.

  4. Hee hee! What a hoot! Both his performance and your entertaining take on it! My Emma is much the same. I worry about that girl.

  5. Aren’t completely non-shy kids fun!!!
    And how mush fun are you going to have with the extreme extrovert, Harrison, and the boy who doesn’t even want his achievements praised? So much.

  6. My favorite memory is of Harrison running down the hallway at church yelling, “Momma, I’m being NAH-TEE!” Glad he hasn’t lost his performance spirit!

  7. Only Harrison.

    Or you.

    Trust me people, the apple DOES NOT fall far from the tree!! I know that comes as a shock…

  8. I will always remember when you asked me to be in a play you were directing. You seemed SHOCKED that I told you I preferred to be in the audience thank you very much! Thanks for letting me be in the audience. There is a place for all of us!

  9. My middle child is also a bit of a drama queen, but then, what can I say? She’s her mother’s daughter.