Today I visited a new lady doctor. It was a guy.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but we move every few years. I also have a child every few years. This means that as far as OBGYN’s go, I’ve kind of been around. I counted today, and this is the eighth OBGYN I’ve had in the past nine years. I might be pure as the driven snow, but when I stop and think about it I realize that eight too many men “know” me.
It was my annual girlie physical, a time well known for it’s awkward moments of silence, and cool, uncomfortable breezes. For those of you who don’t know, I have Polycystic Ovaries so my annual physicals always include an ultrasound to check out the egg cartons.
My new OB is a great doc, I was comfortable with him (but not too comfortable), he was casual in his manner (but not too casual), and I felt like he was warm and friendly (but not too friendly–Heaven forbid).
When he got to the part where we were watching my uterus on the monitor to inspect my C-section scar (man this post has a lot of personal information, doesn’t it?), he said everything looked great. Then he said, “You have a lovely pelvis.”
How do you respond to something like that? A lovely pelvis? As opposed to an average pelvis? He was referring to the monitor, not my you-know-what, but still. And don’t misunderstand, it was a very medical compliment, like he was referring to me as a cadaver and not an actual person with a soul.
I thanked him in a totally startled way, and shortly thereafter left the exam room.
I have to say, of all the compliments I’ve ever received, I didn’t see that one coming. But next time I have a bad hair day, at least I’ll have a lovely pelvis to fall back on.
Ha! I don’t even know what I would say. And I know a lot of women like male OBGYN’s but I don’t think I could do it.
I barely got comfortable with a male massage therapist.
You know I bet he sees all types of pelvis’, and I’m sure a LOT of ugly ones. So when you came in, you were a breath of fresh “pelvis” compared to the other ones he had to stare at all day.
At least he didn’t say your pelvis was breathtaking.
Hi Annie,
Just wanted to check in on you. Again, you are addicting.
I have to tell you when I was your age. I had this physician’s exam a year after a pregnancy and he was the new doc in town. I was completely through breast feeding, of course, the doctor wanted to do a breast exam. No mam! I had to take my top off and hop on one foot. Then change and hop on the other. He watched very carefully for what? I was so naive that I thought it was normal procedure. oh no, my other doctors since say, you should have asked us first about him. nooooo. The doctor retired about 5 years ago and when I see him at the town car shows, I hide behind my husband. Sometimes Steve, my husband, asks me to jump on one foot to make fun of me. I usually throw something close at hand at him (but it’s something unbreakable or worthless–lots of noise) Actually, I’ve statically placed flying weapons. My own Ninja Shuriken versions that I plan to copyright. ewww I hate to think about it all. Do you think he’ll keep a copy of your pelvis for viewing later? oh………….nevermind. freaky. lymi Susan Lazenby
Okay, I thought your story was funny until I ready Susan’s. That’s just….beyond.
Wow! Lucky you. And I thought I was lucky when my doctor told me I had a text book cervix.
You kind of give off an aura of lovely pelvisness. I couldn’t put my finger on it at first, but now that you’ve gotten the Dr’s reccomendation I can totally see it coming through.
This is my second favorite post. My favorite was about your bra being a second purse. Soooo. . . congrats on your pelvis, What a lovely compliment.
My dentist (who is in my ward, no less) recently told me my upper salivary glands produce so much saliva that my teeth don’t stand a chance to develop tartar build-up (I really never have had one cavity). He said, “It’s amazing, you have so much saliva circulating it’s like a mini-car wash in there!” How do you respond to that one, Miss Annie?
Please, let me know because I’ve been so embarrassed I haven’t gone back for 18 months.
Do I really need to if the carwash is working properly and I have no tartar build-up?
I thought for sure I had more, because we’ve moved a bunch and had a bunch o’ babies, but my count is only 5 OBGYNs, including 2 who were just there to catch a baby while on call, and one of which is female, plus a practice of about 6 CNMs, all female. I don’t know which I prefer, male v. female down-there doc.
I’m not changing again though, unless there’s a fluke of nature and I need the OB part again. If that happened, my OBGYN would run the other way.
Ok, the story isn’t nearly as creapy as it was in the email that you sent me but it’s still not quite right. Lovely just seems like a strange choice of word. I can see Deanne’s text book cervix (well I can ‘t see her cervix but.. oh you know what I was saying!) but lovely seems like it might be crossing the line into… well , just weird.
My OB was a group OB all men. Whoever is on call delivers, unless its a scheduled c-section or something then you can pick. Anyways during your pregnancy you meet with each of them at least once you you are familiar with each incase they are the one to deliver. So I’m with you on the too many men know me boat. Plus we’re moving soon too so bring on round two…well once I’m pregnant that is. Also the doctor that delivered my baby told me I had a uterus that my friends would be jealous of. So next time one of my friends is rude I’ll pull that one out 🙂
YIKES! (Both your story and Susan’s.) And here I thought my periodontist was bizarre when he seemed all flirty and said I had the cutest gums.
I knew this was going to be funny the minute I read the title!! What a hoot! You could combine the last two posts and just admit that you are an OB Whore!!
I’m sure people always notice your lovely pelvis but are afraid to say so.
And my great OB/GYN pays some strange after exam compliments. Instead of saying that everything looks okay he tells me in a thick Polish accent, “Beautiful!” Um, thanks?
oh dear, I wouldn’t recommend falling on your lovely pelvis, not only have I heard, mostly from elderly ladies that kind of injury can be very painful, but it could possibly ruin your recently discovered beauty. I mean they say beauty is from the inside and apparantly you are proving the saying correct. Maybe you should consider insuring your pelvis as a back-up back-up?
LOL. I never get complimented by my OB/GYN. I’ve had, “This is very unusual.” and “Have you ever had an abnormal pap smear?” I also know I do NOT have a lovely pelvis. You have ALL the luck.
Really Annie, I loved this post. Probably my most favorite ever. I’m still laughing. Now I know you read Seriously So Blessed too.
I went to a new OBGYN when I was pregnant with my second. The first thing he said when he saw my tummy was, “Wow, your first kid was really mean to you wasn’t he?”
I waited to cry on the drive home.
I’ve been to three Down there Docs. one was a guy and he was new to the practice. it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. but he didn’t give me any compliments so now I feel kinda cheated.
You sid you were craving some male attention…well my dear you got it! Be careful what you wish for…
You really are beautiful on the inside and the outside. Very funny.
Seriously, hilarious. I laugh out loud most times I read your posts. Man, I wish I had a lovely pelvis…or something…I mean even during the breast exam…nothing…well, I have nursed a couple kids, so there’s not much to them anymore…alright, now I’m depressed…I’m going to buy a cute pair of shoes!
I went in for a physical a few weeks ago and the doctor said I was overdue for *that* check-up. So he just did it. My husband was in the room. I’ve never seen him so uncomfortable. I could tell it freaked him out because he was intently studying a copy of Seventeen magazine that he found on the counter.
I wish I had a lovely pelvis.
I just picked up my shirts!! I love my Cold Hands are Hot shirt!! I’m going to wear it everywhere, because I’m dying to have men look at my chest!
“Egg cartons” …. ha!
Still laughing ….
Odd. I happen to have polycystic ovaries too and they NEVER do ultrasounds. Now, I feel like I’m missing out on something important. Oh well, I wish they would just take the whole lot of it out once & for all anyway.
That’s so funny that he said, “lovely pelvis”. 🙂 That is a rather random comment you don’t hear every day. Good to know your pelvis is so lovely. I’m curious what makes it so great? Bone structure? Organ quality?
Annie, I changed my blog to http://www.foughtblog.blogspot.com. Come and visit anytime!
OK, I have to interrupt girl world. My wife’s girl Doc is friendly (but not too friendly) with my wife too. We bumped into him in public, and it was kind of an awkward moment. I tease her about how well he knows her. Is that a bad thing?
my first ever gyno appointment my dr complimented me on my chest. She couldn’t believe they were real. Now after 2 little guys back to back no one can say that but at least I have that compliment to fall back on!
oh I loved this post.
I can’t lay claim to anything but a run-of-the-mill pelvis but apparently, according to a dentist and an emergency-room doctor (separate occasions), I’ve got the biggest mouth they’d ever seen. Gee. Thanks.