Biggest Loser’s Last Chance Workout Freakout Commentary

There is no way I can let Bob’s rampage on last night’s Biggest Loser go unmentioned here.

See, there’s this fat girl in the house who talks. A lot. We’re talking, every time he tells her to jump up on the step she stands there like some southern revival preacher woman saying things like, “I will! I believe in myself! I’m not afraid of this!” But does she actually jump? No. Why? Because Joelle is an attention whore who really likes the camera and really hates to exercise.

Don’t get me wrong, you put me on any reality TV show and I guarantee I will glue myself to the camera man and kiss his butt for the entire show just to get face time. But this is The Biggest Loser. It’s not about getting on tv or earning a life time supply of Jello. This show is about changing your life, and this season is kind of incredible. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many totally dedicated, committed, bust their soon to be smaller butts 24 hours a day people in my entire life.

Except for Joelle.

During the Last Chance Workout, Bob had his team running 30 second sprints on the treadmills. We’re talking six 300 plus pound people doing an all out, kick your tail burst of cardio like they weighed 150 pounds. It is, to say the least, an impressive sight (I guarantee I would have faked a knee injury day one to avoid such torture).

But do you think Joelle is doing it? No. As soon as she gets to 20 seconds, she jumps off. Every. Single. Time. Obviously, the two week torture of training Joelle was too much for Bob, who unleashed the beast and ripped into her like a pregnant woman with a carton of Moose Tracks. I am telling you, I’ve never seen such a satisfying chew out in my life. By the time he spit her back out, that girl would have run the Boston Marathon without uttering a single peep if Bob told her to.

I must say, seeing that makes me glad I’m not a reality TV star. There’s nothing worse than watching yourself three months later and thinking, “Wow. I’m an idiot.” Ouch.


  1. This cracks me up! I haven’t watched the episode yet, but it sounds entertaining and I’ve heard lots about Bob’s freak-out (it was on the front page of MSN, after all.) I’ll have to watch it (I have it DVR’ed) since I’m kinda fond of southern baptist revival type preachers.)

    Oh, and I mis-read the part about a pregnant woman & Mosse Tracks and thought “Bob, would yell at a pregnant woman for eating moose tracks too? That’s terrible!” (trying to think of something to type besides LOL… I’ll get back to you w/ a LMSBO or GUACOMP or something…)

  2. I did love when he got mad at her. And I crack up when she’s muttering things to herself like, “I can do this. Please forgive me. Sweet succotash.” Good times. I liked even better when Damian told her to quit thinking of herself and think of the team.

    And I cried when Jerry left. Stupid 1 lb. disadvantage for poor Dan. Stupid challenges.

    And I love that Jillien said that she loves her whole team, and is like, “That never happens!”

    One more thing. I fully do not like Tara. I’m so angry she got immunity. I know she cheated with her whole 1 pound loss. Stupid immunity.

    Okay. Novel over.

  3. I wonder if a lot of people walk away with that impression, or if they walk away thinking how cool they were and they were wronged by everyone else.

  4. I was flipping back and forth between Idol and Biggest Loser and I did get to see the chew out. Very impressive, especially when Jillien was telling her team that he never gets mad. Guess what I did 22 min on my ellipitcal yesterday! Woo hoo, now I have to do something today

  5. diana banana says:

    someone doesn’t like Tara? I love Tara, in fact I love almost all of the cast…except Joelle of course.

    How much do you love all the mormons running around too?

  6. I was so surprised that Joelle kept getting off. I loved the way BOB lost it with her he is always so composed. She deserved every bit she got last night. The to only lose 2 lbs come on you know she should of got voted off. I know that is not nice but it is true. I have been waiting all day to see what you wrote thanks for not letting me down annie your the best.

  7. annie valentine says:

    *gasp* Barbara! You think Tara cheated? Seriously? I really liked her until right this very second. Now I have to hate her (because you and I are on the same team and we kind of have an alliance).

  8. Forget about that…what about having to stand up in front of MILLIONS with a sports bra and biker shorts and your OBTRUSIVE gut!

    Forget about it!

  9. OK, you’re going on my blog roll, you are just to fun to keep all to myself.

    I love the house cleaning with a friend idea.

    Having been through it seven terrible times I’m feeling you on the disgustingness of potty training. Being in the military is not the only cause of post traumatic stress syndrome.

  10. Hooray for alliances!
    And yes, I’m sorry-but I do think she cheated. You saw how hard she worked in the gym….and minus one pound? Ha! She’s a mean, cheater face.

  11. Now I have to go watch it on the internet!!

    tara huh?? I’ll pay attention!

  12. For some reason, I thought today was Tuesday and therefore completely missed it. Which is awful. I love nothing more than to watch Biggest Loser whilst eating junk food and complaining about how pregnancy is making me fat. 🙂

  13. Are you telling me that I need to get on this season. I’ll think about it.

  14. I really do wish Robin was into the Biggest Loser, because it’s totally my kind of show. Oh well.

  15. YIKES, I wish I had Bob or Jillian following me around and barking at me to “get with the program” Joelle needs to go home for sure. BUT, I think I got a pretty good workout with the remote flipping between Ido, Looser and the BYU basketball game. Shees,h I’m tired.

  16. HOLY FREAKING SMOKES ANNIE –I made your Blog Roll!!!!!! I am so excited. It’s like a Golden Globe for me or something like that. Right now I am dancing around singing “I made a blog roll, I made a blog roll—over and over and over. I am such a Geek.

  17. The freakout was Awesome! I thoroughly enjoyed that episode, but I so wanted Joelle to step over the line when she was offered $25,000. Go HOME, Joelle! I think the only thing that kept her there was the thought of going home to her friend/partner.
    I think I like Tara, though. If I got immunity at the beginning of the week, I would totally water load for the weigh-in. It’s all part of the game…
    I just hate to see people being mean just to get ahead. I hope no one this season is as dirty as Vicky was.

  18. Annie, I missed the freakout, somehow, I was intermittently watching the show, and I saw the end. Glad for the play-by-play!

  19. I love Tara! It’s not cheating to drink some water on weigh in day when you have immunity. It’s smart. It’s a game. I wish there were no eliminations and everyone just got to stay there the whole time and lose and lose and lose. That would be awesome! But apparently the producers don’t think we would watch that show. So…..there are eliminations and the players have to do everything they can to try to keep themselves there. We’d all do the same, right?

  20. I HATE MELISSA!!!!!!!! She is so mean to all the other contestants, her poor husband has to put up with her every day she completely controls him! She does not even care about losing weight she just wants to look good on tv!