Virtual Shopaholics Unite

There are a few frightfully dangerous downfalls to potty training (in addition to the contamination issues). One of them is being stranded in the house. With a credit card. And the internet.

Oh dear.

See, I’ve always believed that the internet could never usurp real live shopping because real live shopping is so absolutely fantastic. I was born to shop. I have actually been assigned shopping angels. Seriously, if you ever need to shop for anything specific on an insanely tight budget, just take me with you. My angels will ensure that we find it. Don’t believe me? Ask around.

Apparently my shopping talent doesn’t end at the mall, it carries over to my laptop. Who knew there were so many amazing deals to be had on things I don’t actually need?

Since I’m locked in the house so much these days with little poopy pants, I find myself surfing dangerous bargain sites like Old Navy,, etsy, Amazon, Overstock, and ebay. I have virtual carts filled to the brim with pointless crap all over the world (wide web). I’m lucky they don’t charge for cart pushing, because I’d be in big trouble.

Pretend shopping works about 90 percent of the time. Fill the cart, sigh a little, and step away from the mouse. But it’s that other ten percent of shopping that gets me in trouble.

Although frankly, who can blame me? I’ve had the same old stupid white duvet cover for SEVEN YEARS. Do you know how sad and wrong that is? And do you have any idea how good the prices at Overstock actually are? Furniture! You can buy FURNITURE!

Is it bad that I know our UPS lady’s first name?


  1. I’m glad it’s a UPS LADY!
    I am a total internet shopper/ cart leaver. Kohl’s is a fun one too.

  2. I shop online all the time too! On Sundays, I always look at Banana Republic and Target to see what new stuff came out.

  3. I love that you know her name! It gets a little embarrassing here before Christmas, since we do most of that shopping online. Every day the UPS guys shows up AGAIN. Never did learn his name, though. I should ask next time. 🙂

  4. I am such an online shopper too. Overstock rocks! We got our bed from them, our 1000 threadcount sheets, even my husbands tungsten wedding ring! All for great deals!

  5. It’s also bad when you get a Get Well card from the manager of the local Eddie Bauer Outlet store! She’s soooo sweet!!! PS–Pottery Barn online will have some great deals too! I LOOOOVE them!!!

  6. what about woot? Have you ever tried that for all your electronics needs? Check it out and good luck with the potty training trials.

  7. I shop all the time online too, but for stuff I really need, you know all that as seen on tv stuff. That is a need not a want.

  8. Oooh, I gave in to the super clearances at jcp this weekend – 8 pairs of pants for hubby and some clothes for me. Uniform pants for the little girls from and ebay. A new purse from ebay. a “got drama?” decal for hubby’s car from ebay. and scads of closed the cart before I purchased, including some $5 skirts from modbe that I’ve put in the cart 3 times and still haven’t purchased because I can’t decide if it’s worth the risk when the pictures suck and I’ve never seen them.

  9. annie valentine says:

    Evitafjord – Ack! I’ve almost bought those darn skirts three times too. Same problem. I think you and I should go virtual shopping together, we’d be such a pair.

    April – Feeling you on the Pottery Barn clearances. Really, they’re cheaper than Macy’s most of the time. I almost bought some gorgous PB bedding, but found something just as attractive at Overstock for a third the price.

    Still kind of wishing I could have afforded the Marigold…

  10. Camille Machen says:

    If you could find me a good deal on a new laptop or new computer, I would erect a small monument in honor of you.

  11. I’ve wondered if potty training is the curse of eve :0

    I love Overstock!

  12. I discovered the joy of eBay this past Christmas. Bought a brand new Nikon D-40 and a brand new Cricut as gifts for rockin’ prices. Must resist going back until it’s birthday shopping time…

  13. I LOVE LOVE LOVE “pretend” shopping (which in my case manifested itself in making fake baby registries that kept getting more & more enormous while I dreamed of actually adopting / being able to get pregnant.) This week, it was The Children’s Place that I was cyber stalking. Luckily, (for our finances) I don’t actually HAVE a credit card so no real damage can be done online. Some of the stores’ shopping carts may start charging me rent though.

  14. Online shopping was made just for me. Really. Some random people were sitting around asking eachother, “What can we do to make Melissa’s life better? OOOOH, how about online shopping?!!!” And there you have it – the birth of virtual shopping carts. You’re welcome. I’m glad I made your life more enjoyable by my huge influence on the web. Also, we never seem to have the same UPS delivery person, or I would also know his/her name. And I would also have to bribe and/or blackmail said UPS person to not share their delivery of my latest buys with my husband. Man, would I be in trouble.

  15. Why does it not surprise me that Kristina P. shops online?

  16. I pretend shop too. I call it eWindowShop.

  17. Oh yeah, online shopping is FUN. I didn’t do any of my Christmas shopping online this year though. I’ve been trying to cut back.

  18. I’m not an online shopper at home – the shipping costs to Brazil rawther take out the fun of bargain hunting.

    But when I’m visiting the States? LOOK OUT.

  19. Just think of all the money you save on plane tickets if you actually had to travel all over the world (wide web) to schlep all that good stuff home.

  20. O.K. I need a 42″ flat screen and a bunk bed in white or honey stain.
    O.K. mark, get set, GO (find me the best deal!)

  21. Camille, I got a fantastic price on a laptop at You have to be fast though and be happy with last years model, etc. I think maybe we need a twelve step here! I leave stuff in my cart until I have time to mull it over. I usually decide I don’t really need it. I think that is a great step towards curbing the impulse purchase. Truth is, you really can save a lot of money shopping online and my husband is the king. You’ll find him at him at and me at Chadwichs or something, looking for the perfect top @ 6.99.

  22. I just laughed out loud…”and, step away from the mouse.”

    Funny stuff! I get suckered into informercials…I know, Iknow. It is sad.

  23. Just have to say, after reading this I marched myself right over to Overstock and bought myself a duvet cover. I realized my bedspread was 7 years old as well. You know it’s bad when DH NOTICES and ENCOURAGES you to get a new one. YIKES!