Valentine’s Day: Dud or Dandy? You Choose.

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I felt it was only appropriate that I put up a “How To Have A Good Valentine’s Day Without Even Trying” post.

But let’s face it, it’s a crock. If you want to enjoy Valentine’s Day, you have to say something. Out loud. LOUDLY.

Because men? They’re not so smart when it comes to romance. I’m reading this great book on relationships right now (casually seeking ways to convince my husband that romance still matters to me–he’s a little slow this time of year, but I can see the wheels are starting to turn again) and apparently, once men get married, their brain starts to disintegrate until the only skill they have left is how to use the remote.

This is a tragedy, but there is hope (and I’m not referring to their inability to share the remote).

So, if you’ve got some kind of Valentine’s Day expectations and you know he’s not going to fulfill them, make plans NOW.

I recommend telling him today that if he’s willing to take the first shift and plan the romantic part, you’ll take the second shift and plan the, how should we say, “bedtime” part.

Just tell him you’ll match his efforts, that should get his attention.


  1. I’m not really a fan. We’re going out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants.

    Last year I freaked out because I told my husband to please not get me anything, I just wanted to go to dinner, and he sent me like $60 flowers at work! Which was our dinner budget, so we didn’t do the one thing I wanted to do. I think he learned his lesson. And now I let him get me something small so he can still feel like he’s getting me something.

  2. I feel very ill prepared to handle this right now. Can’t we postpone it?

  3. Snort. If I made that deal with my husband, I’d get the most over the top Valentine’s Day ever. I’ll have to wield that power wisely.

  4. Great idea, that will certainly get his attention.

  5. This year my husband is in Afghanistan . . . but, since I do hold the purse strings in this household, I noticed an FTD purchase that was made on-line! Oooooo now I have the anticipation to see what it is like . . . . .

    And hopefully it isn’t for someone else!!! BAD BAD THOUGHTS!!

  6. I want to do something nice for my husband. but I’m not sure what.

  7. I am missing my hubby. Right about now I could care less that he is an unromantic fool and I will still give him whatever he wants. Good idea though. I think I might try it. We have the entire weekend kid free!

  8. Oooooh, I actually really like that whole “match his efforts” thing…Too bad we’re going to see my sister on Valentine’s Day, maybe we’ll have to make plans the next weekend?

  9. I usually celebrate it with the kids, we call it Love Day. Coming right around Tax Day (you know, for those of us who file the second our W2s are in), we usually have more funds available than at Christmas (until this past year when hubby’s new job has a mandatory savings program that pays out every November right before Black Friday) – so I like to spoil them a little and get presents and have goodies and our favorite dinner. I’m kind of feeling weird this year – with hubby’s new job, he doesn’t have a rehearsal or performance on V-day and we have a date to go see someone else in a show!! Will probably have to kick him out of the house so I can have Love Day with the kids, they’re already asking and he doesn’t get it.

  10. I can’t say that valentines day is a big part of me and my husbands love world, but if we were I agree with trying to get them to realize that there can be lots of romance after years of being together! Well we’ll be spending our valentines day @ the softball fields !!

  11. Match his efforts huh? Not sure I’m ready for that much excitement! I might have to check out a book or something to get some new ideas. 🙂

  12. We just celebrated our 5th year wedding anniversary on the 7th. So, I KNOW nothing is going to happen. 🙁 Plus, how do you top our FIRST V-day together that was in Aruba? Maybe that’s why we haven’t celebrated valentines day since then.

    (Don’t be jealous… was our honeymoon. AND we are so broke, it ain’t funny)

  13. annie valentine says:

    Rachel, girl you’ve got to get me a button.

  14. Good way to “attack” the issue Annie. I like how you take things into you own hands. No time to be subtle if you “want” something from hubby-poo. And SURELY if you say you’ll take care of the , ah, bedroom part……..that should get his attention……..otherwise, you better go looking for a dog RIGHT NOW.

  15. I vote for planning something simple. I think it’s irritating when people go on a V-Day strike – all you have to do is something small and enjoy each other’s company. I just get some new lingere, some tasty dessert and then *I’m* the dessert. Heh heh. Except I need some maternity lingere this year and I have no idea where to look… would I get punched in the face if I tried Lane Bryant?

  16. Annie, I know I’ve got to get you a button. But….(and this may embarrass me) how do I do that? Is it just a picture I email you?

    And as a side note; I haven’t forgotten about that, I just put it aside in my head. Silly me.

  17. Hello I am just a visitor.

    I loved the post and am laughing at a few of the comments. So cute!

    I’m probably the old lady compared to you guys – We will celebrate 25 years this year.

    Let me just tell you ladies that you have to train your man. My friends are so jealous these days and call my husband “The romantic one” but he didn’t start out that way.

    Never EVER tell your husband not to buy you something – you are just setting yourself up for no romance in the future. On these holidays be happy if he goes for it because it just gets better.

    If you have to plan Valentines day make sure you tell him why you planned what you planned and exactly what you like – dinner, flowers, candy, whatever – Men don’t get hints you have to tell them and believe it or not they eventually get it and put it away in their brains. It’s a process…

    Good luck and hope you all have a Happy Valentines Day!

    Annie you are so cute and I love your writing. Thanks for letting me visit:)

  18. Now that’s an idea.

  19. Dang it, I read your advice AFTER VDay. . . Next year I’ll use it though! I’m good at planning the bedtime part and too bad no one plans the romantic part!