Important Statements About American Idol

Five Important Statements About American Idol

1. What is the point of Kara again? I keep trying to remember why they needed a female version of Randy. Tonight I remembered: They don’t.

2. Lil Rounds. Michelle Obama called, she wants her dress back. 

3. Adam Lambert is a psychedelic emo who paints his nails and dresses like a girl. He also just offended the entire Johnny Cash fan base and country music in general. I’m trying hard to pretend that I don’t think he’s crazy cool. Okay fine. He’s crazy cool. 

4. Blind Scott, what are you doing on American Idol? You should (and will) be a rising Christian artist who sings blind praise with your slightly nasally and sometimes flat vocals, topped off with that lovely wobbly vibrato. They are really nice to you, and it’s not because you’re an amazing singer. A little more straight forward constructive criticism could actually help you.

5. Last guy who looks like Michael Buble, you are my new fave ever, right behind Michael Buble, who’s right behind Jason (who usually refuses to sing me a note but is still amazingly hot.)


Comments

  1. This post is like a merger between Simon and Annie. And it makes me want to catch back up on my Idol watching!

  2. oh my gosh – I just did it again.

    This is my husbands account. Will someone remind me to log off and log in as myself next time?

  3. I’m just bummed I didn’t watch last night cuz I heard Randy Travis was on and I have a little bit of a crush on that man.

  4. You hit it spot on. (Except about Adam- he’s just a freak to me. Scary.) But I think they should have hired you instead of Kara.

  5. Adam kind of scares me. He’s got talent, yes, but the execution of it is a little frightening, and a little too dark for me.

    And I like Kara. Her criticism is way more coherent than Paula’s, and I think she actually knows what she’s talking about, unlike Paula. I agree that she and Randy usually have the same opinion, but at least she says it in real words instead of gangsta-wannabe-lingo.

    So we disagree a little, so what? Lucky for you, I didn’t vote. 🙂

  6. I think you should be a judge. I vote for you. I’m just wondering why Paula is still on (and, if Randy knows any other words other than daug!).

  7. Paula is a nutjob, in her slightly cross-eyed, stuttering way. I think she only compliments them because everyone claps if she does. I agree, Scott needs to go, Alexis needs to not be trampy, don’t like Lil’s perfomance *pbtttt*, and I kinda don’t like Adam, too over the top. Anoopdog did AWESOME last night and Matt, the last one, for some reason just gets on my nerves! I love the little warbly one that sang Walkin’ After Midnight. And you know Danny Gokey is way high on my list, actually the top of it. and I agree, why do they need a fourth judge? maybe they’re trying to edge out Paula, that girl is crazy!

  8. Kara who??? I FF’d through all her critiques. She bugs.

    And Emo Boy’s Ring of Fire was totally fascinating in a really freaky kind of way. How could they not mention his amazing (although very, very non-traditional) vocals??

  9. Everyone knows FF means fast forward, right?

  10. annie valentine says:

    Melissa – Please be greenpotato forever. I kind of love it.

    Barbaloot – He’s a little old for you, but who’s counting?

    Steph – Paula’s inability to speak in complete sentences is a given, I should have mentioned that. And to be honest, the whole “we’re in 7th grade” thing she and Simon do is obnoxious and sometimes disturbing. Get a locker, already.

    Jen – We are so sisters. Thank you for validating my opinion about Emo Boy. Now I know I’m not crazy.

  11. Scott irritates me too. Ok fine, he can – sort of – sing but he is, quite frankly, only in the competition because he is blind and fulfills their disabled quota.

    I mean did you SEE the VT thing with him and his weird singing family???

    Nothing wrong with the Christian part but him and his style just do NOT belong on Idols!

    Oi, leave Adam alone, he’s my fav 😉

  12. Yep–you pretty mucn nailed it.

  13. Adam is so effeminate and musical dance theater that I can’t stand it. I’ve learned that I have to listen to him without watching him and I like him MUCH better. But I’m a Danny Gokey fan. I say he takes it.

    And I agree about Kara. I wanted to like her. I really did. But I kinda don’t see the point.

  14. annie valentine says:

    Good point, Melanie. His pipes are wicked like the musical.

    Krandy must go.

  15. A.Men and thank you! I totally agree! I love the way you put everything better than how I would’ve put it! lol!

  16. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. And, Amen.

    Especially the Adam Lambert part. Loved it.

  17. And that Kara girl talks funny. A lisp or something. Barf.