The Stupidest Song Ever

I can’t stop thinking about Willie Nelson (thank you Anoop) and his stupid, stupid famous song. “You Were Always On My Mind” is the biggest load of moldy doodoo I’ve ever heard in my life.

“Maybe I didn’t say nice things to you, or treat you very well. And maybe sometimes I made you look really stupid in front of other people and forgot your birthday. Hey, we both know I was always on the road meeting other, younger women who followed me back to my room, and that I suck at personal self-maintenance and hygiene, but hey, feel better; you were always on my mind.

So now that I’m old and wrinkled and ugly, now that all the hippie chicks are women going through menopause, is there any way you’d take me back? Come on, you were always back there bumping around in my weedy brain, the perfect fall-back plan. You can’t hold those other things against me, I was high! But even when I was smokin’ that weed, I was thinking of you, babe.

So how ’bout it?”

Very possibly the stupidest song ever.


  1. *snort* I love that! And I agree–although I’d never thought of that song like that before. I’ll never see it the same again.

  2. Naturally, you’re welcome to feel about Willie and his showerlessness as you will, but I must plug the 80s remake of that song by The Pet Shop Boys (but you may be too young to remember it!)

  3. Yeah–but when you hear Michael Buble sing it—it ALMOST makes you feel bad for the guy in the song. But then yeah—I read you version and I think “What a jerk!”

  4. that or “I’m too sexy”….

  5. I’ve heard that song a thousand times and the meaning has never sunk in . . . . I can only remember the “you were always on my mind” part! Oh dear!

  6. annie valentine says:

    See what I mean? We’ve all been completely snowed. Why must women always fall for jerks?

  7. Are those really the lyrics? Because that makes me question my entire marriage and how much my husband loves me. He has never called me stupid in front of anyone, so I’m obviously not on his mind!

  8. Thanks Mom. And not like I don’t feel this way about ten other songs, but don’t mess with this one. I loved it before I knew any better, and I refuse to think of the logistics.

    So there.

  9. If those are the actual lyrics then, yes. DUMBEST SONG EVER. 🙂

    LOVE the Pet Shop Boys version, though. Even if the words really ARE dumb. (I’ve always thought so, too.)

  10. Don’t hold back. Tell us how you really feel.

  11. Yes its dumb when you put it that way…but it was a step up for ANOOP from Beat It …to you were always on my MIND…

    What kind of message is he trying to send anyway?

  12. Great. Now it’s in my head.


  13. HA HA HA HA HA. That’s funny.

  14. Don’t hold back sweetie, tell us how you really feel.

  15. Wow… I’ve never thought of it that way. Call me crazy, but I always thought there was a certain charm about ol’ Willie.

  16. I was really hoping that you were talking about that Brad Paisley song, “I want to check you for ticks,” but this one is good too. And only after I was rightly an adult did I realize that the song “Every breath you take” is really a script that would result in a restraining order. Great, now I have LOTS of dumb songs “on my mind.” Thanks for that.

  17. I’m 2 weeks behind on watching AI, and I keep getting little tidbits from reading blogs. I need to catch up.
    And I’ve always liked that song. Thanks for ruining it for me! 😉

  18. That whole episode of AI was an exercise in “worst songs ever”. Grand Ole Opry? Really?!

    When are they going to let “current and relevant” singers sing current and relevant songs?!

  19. AMEN! Totally have to agree with you. I think I like your lyrics better than the real ones!

  20. What? You don’t dig the stringy braids? Or is it the red head-dana he wears?

  21. Dang, I never thought of it that way——–I used to like that song, until you brought up all the “stupidness” of it. Just think of someone else singing it –someone really HOT —not Willie Nelson (ick)