Vegas can kiss my…

What a week. Don’t get me wrong, the balmy mid-eighty weather and appropriately smallish pool have been nice. And the maid service? I need it. I want it. I’m kind of addicted to it on so many levels.

But the rest of the week…not so much. From the man I had to save at the pool (he almost drowned in four feet of water–poor guy hit his head and didn’t speak any english. The ambulance and paramedics kind of ruined our afternoon pool excursion) to the sunburn I received as payment (note to self: it doesn’t matter if you’re wearing 50 spf,  if you feel like your legs are frying, they probably are), we would have been safer at home.

And our trip to InstaCare? That’s a whole other post.

We decided to surprise the kids and have dinner at the Rainforest Cafe. Not because the food is any good, but because we thought they’d love the animals. Oh, they loved them, for about seven seconds. Then Rex warped into I’m-terrified-so-get-me-out-of-here mode, complete with lava-like bursts of blood-curdling screams.

To make matters worse, they had placed us smack in the center of the dining area, surrounded by old, non-kid-friendly adults wearing sour, “Well, I never!” expressions on their faces. I  kid you not, that boy was screaming so loudly and the food was so expensive ($9.99 for a kid’s meal) that at one point, I thought I might actually explode into a million pieces of super-cheap, over-worked mommy matter.

And the next time Jason goes to Vegas on business? I’ll stay home and go to the local pool, ignore my laundry, and eat on paper plates. Trust me, it will be just as good. And as for what happens in Vegas? As far as I’m concerned, Vegas can keep it.


  1. I’m sorry you didn’t have a great trip…but at least you saved someone:) Right?

  2. Wow; nothing like making memories, Huh?

  3. I wanna cry for you, except for the fact that you had maid service. So, then I’ll have to just settle for- sorry it was a crappy trip. I’m not a big fan of Vegas. Sweating after I get out of the shower just isn’t fun for me.

  4. Oh, this is great! I mean, in that sucky mom sort of way! My kiddo always screams bloody murder when we eat at Cracker Barrel. Happens every time…don’t know why.

  5. Adam and I tried to go when we were ther, but it was like an hour wait.

  6. You know what Mother would say – this is what you get for bragging about what a great week end you were going to have.

    It’s like a law of the Universe. You should have known better.

  7. Ooohh how sucky! I feel so bad! So really, you SAVED a guy!?! Wow, tell that story, then we can focus on how AWESOME you are and not on what a crappy trip you had!

  8. Yeah, Vegas is alright. Not really my cup of tea, but if you’re going to go at all you must go without kids! Much more fun and no blood curdling screams. 🙂

  9. You might not appreciate Vegas, but the man you saved is certainly saying his prayers of grace for you for the rest of his life.

  10. Laurel Albrecht says:

    LOVED your article this week! I am in complete sync with you.
    I was raised with the knowledge that if I was told to “jump!” I was to ask “how high?” on the way up. Then I was to ask for permission before I could come back down!
    Good for you. You must be a horribly mean mother:)

  11. How awesome that you SAVED A LIFE! I’m sorry that your trip was not so great. =[

  12. hahahahahahahaha

    Welcome back!


    I would say LOLOLOL but I know how you feel about that.

  13. That sucks, so I’m sorry it was that terrible. At least you saved a life, right? Are you going to share the InstaCare story?

  14. That sounds like an . . . adventure . . .


  15. annie valentine says:


    And I left out the night we went to four movie theaters before finding our movie.

  16. NOT a fan of the Rainforest Cafe…sorry, I know this doesn’t help you now! In fact, we didn’t take our kids to Vegas until they were teens! I just couldn’t do it! There’s nothing like a good drowning to begin the day! NICE!

  17. I’m all stressed out just thinking about attempting that same trip you just described. Bless you!

  18. Oh, I just read your column! I loved it. And you are totally right about today’s society. I feel the need to teach an enrichment class on manners. It’s seriously lacking these days. Love you Annie!

  19. Well, Annie, you needed to leave the kids at home with a sitter and just you and your hubby go —dang. Boy, I hear you on the resturant story, my daughter could cry on your shoulder about her stories of her daughter and the troubles she seems to cause at a resturant with old bitty’s . If I was your mom, you could leave those darlings with me , but I work full time, and I don’t really know you and I might beat them. But otherwise——–

  20. I really hope you had some fun down there. Maybe you can get an evening away with just you and your hubby…you know experience another really great dream with a cute old lady or two.

  21. You saved a life! I think that means that you can bask in that and never have to worry about this “good deed” nonsense again!

  22. Well, I must say that reading your blog is a wonderful dose of reality. Last time I was in Vegas I didn’t know I was pregnant with my first yet and was SOOOO sick the whole time.. I thought it was just Vegas making me sick LOL…

  23. Annie, I totally know what you mean, I hate Vegas and I have lived here for 10 years. Too bad I was up in Provo at Women’s Conference, or I could have babysat for you and your hub to go out alone. If you ever decide to come back, I am totally down for that.