Motherhood Hangover

The next time I decide to take a vacation, would someone just slap me?

Remember yesterday? My dreams of sweet, loving children, who worship the ground I walk on, making a joyful noise and welcoming me home with clean, open arms? Walking in yesterday, I met their sticky, shrieking counterparts, and they all called me “Mommy”.

They were so anxious to see me, that the June Bug was awake from 2-4:30 am this morning, staring at me. Motherhood is so delightful.

They apparently used up their Good Behavior tickets while I was gone, because if I had sat down to write this post fifteen minutes ago, you would have seen phrases like, “Those little *&%$#” and “Get me the *%&# out of here!”

If I can just get them safely to tomorrow, maybe they’ll have a chance…


  1. My stance from yesterday may have changed. 🙂

  2. Well I read this post and your other post back to back and it was pretty funny to see the spectrum. Kids do that to us of course. You and your getaways…lucky girl. 🙂

  3. See, exactly what I was talking about.

    Sometimes I think I really only enjoy them when they are asleep and I sit by their beds drinking in their cherub-ness and getting all teary-eyed that they are growing up so fast. I don’t know what happens during the daylight though.

  4. Deep breath. Another one. Now, repeat after me: Motherhood is beautiful. I love sticky fingers. I want peanut butter in my hair. I love small arms down my shirt. I adore the words “i hate you” and can’t wait to hear them again. Serenity. Zen. Peace. Good Karma. This is what I signed up for.

    Now reach into the back of the freezer, way back there, grab the Stoli vodka and head for the bathroom with the deadbolt.

  5. That’s what the lock on the bedroom is for, except it should be on the outside and you lock them in.

  6. Welcome home! I’m sorry about the staring but in a creepy-cute way, it’s ADORABLE!!!

  7. I felt just like this when I got back from Girls Camp, I was so looking forward to hugging their little bodies! I had visions of them running into my arms “mommy! MOMMY!!”, instead I got a slap at my outstretched hands and told they weren’t ready to go home. I cried bitterly.

  8. OK I was wondering if you were drunk on vacation…

  9. I’m not going to say that you deserve it for taking a childless vacation AGAIN but…

  10. This is perhaps the most aptly named post ever. Motherhood hangover, indeed.

    It happens to me every Monday.

  11. I have no idea how I stumbled across your blog,..but I’ve spent the last hour reading your posts! 🙂 Halarious! You are my type of gal. Count me in as your newest reader! 🙂