Tiger Woods is in Trooouble…

Lets talk about Tiger Woods for a moment, shall we?

Seriously, is there anything cooler than a guy drooling over his own bicept?

In case you missed it, on Black Friday Tiger Woods was in a traffic accident fifteen feet (or so) from his front door. Not only did he hit a local tree and a fire hydrant, but he also hit his head. Luckily, his wife was on hand with a golf club to smash in the back window of his Cadillac SUV. The report states that she was trying to rescue him from the car.

By smashing in his rear window. With one of his golf clubs.

Funny, but just two days prior to this report, the ever dependable tabloids informed the world that Tiger was having an affair. And according to today’s gossip, just three days prior to the accident, Tiger broke up with his long-time top secret girlfriend (she has 300 text messages to prove it).

Let’s back up just a second. I’ve pulled out of my driveway a lot of times, I’d have to be pretty darn distracted to smash into something I see on a regular basis (with three small children, I have a master’s degree in driving distractions). It would take something really shocking to make me completely ignore the road in front of me. Something like, oh, being chased by an angry woman sporting a golf club.

If I was a police officer (man, I’d be a good cop), I’d ask Tiger why he was driving down the road staring in his rear view mirror the entire time. I’d also ask for the name and phone number of his girlfriend, just to be thorough. (I would not be responsible for accidentally leaking that information to his wife.)

Do you think it’s a coincidence that she used the very thing that supplies their livelihood in her attempt to beat the crap out of her husband? Hey, for a white girl she didn’t do too bad.

when will men learn not to mess with a woman who's given birth?

Frankly, Tiger is just lucky the cops arrived before she had time to run him over with the golf cart after she saved him from the crash.


  1. Yeah, it’s a weird, weird situation. Although the “alleged” girlfriend denies anything has happened.

    Honestly, if it’s on the Internet, I believe it. He’s a manho.

  2. I’m going to hold out on judgment because I’m not very trusting of the media that loves to make a great story and create evidence, but regardless of the whole SUV fiasco, *if* Tiger has really been having any kind of affair, it’s totally disappointing. I lose all respect for these men who have NO respect for the wives and mothers of their children who are holding down the fort while they run around and literally play around the globe. Fame neither justifies decadent entitlement nor trumps holy vows.

    • annie valentine says:

      Since he’s openly admitting that he’s “transgressed” and is sorry to his wife and family, I’m going to go ahead and believe that he’s a chump cheato head who deserves a few stitches in the noggin.

  3. OK, I just read a news article about several women coming out of the woodwork, and it’s another woman with the 300 text messages. He also admitted that he committed transgressions and has let down his values and his family.

    It really makes you think that all men in the spotlight cheat.

  4. Let’s discuss this marriage thing, shall we? First we have Liz from Biggest Loser. Openly admits to having trouble in her marriage, but both she and her husband say they want to work on it, not get a divorce. These are about as “real” and “normal” people as you’ll get.

    Then we have Tiger. He’s got inordinate amounts of money and he’s married to a supermodel. So, the initial marriage problem excuses (money and attraction) are out. Seriously-how is it that this man cheats on his wife–and this other woman is willing to admit to America she has problems but will work on them?!

    I hate rich, famous people today.

  5. Annie Valentine, you are hilarious. Seriously, one funny chick. Thanks for the laugh.

  6. She should’ve smashed him in the head a few times just to drive the point home.

  7. No one says it like you do, Annie.

  8. Such a disapointment. When I heard about it I thought he was drunk. This, I must admit, is much worse. I really liked the guy, too. Why does this always happen?

  9. What a stupid idiot. His wife is a freaking supermodel, and just because he likes his biceps doesn’t make up for his face…ooh DISS! (I called him ugly, I totally did.)

  10. I don’t understand it at all. What is a woman suppose to do to keep her man happy, and not feel as if they have to break out the old nine iron to keep things on the straight and narrow?

  11. I am so dissappointed but it does happen to all of us. Just because you are rich and famous does not mean you have the perfect life. None of us know what goes on behind closed doors. I hope for the sake of the child they figure it out.

  12. Anytime I hear of any guy cheating in the public eye, I hate them forever. I don’t care if the wife forgives or not, he is just scum. Tiger is now one of them. I just don’t get it. Pathetic.

  13. I had to get caught up a little because I’ve been lazy about getting on the computer, but I think your craft room makeover looks amazing! And I think your stick horses are so cute! And I think it’s strange that ladies my age are crushing hardcore on the teenagers also. I understand you…too skinny and too white.

  14. She must not be as good a golfer as he is, or she would have hit some balls off.
    (Sorry, couldn’t resist)

  15. I’m fairly new to your blog and I’ve been thinking about this post for awhile. I think it’s very sad that Tiger Woods and his wife find themselves in this situation. I think it’s too bad for anyone that does – rich, poor, beautiful, average, in the middle. I think it’s more common than most of us realize. The other women in Average Joe’s extra-marital affair isn’t being paid for her text messages though. Thank goodness.

    I hope they can work it out for the sake of their kids. And I pray that I never have an inkling of what she is feeling.

    • annie valentine says:

      You’re right amanda, it’s sad for his wife. I can’t imagine being on the painful side of this kind of situation, on a serious note, I hope she has good girlfriends here in the states and seriously considers leaving him. Serial cheaters rarely change.

  16. Oh man, that is awesome. I love it! I hope she broke the golf club. ROFL.

  17. Ha! You know, even if she wasn’t really chasing him, I do think he had an affair(s). And therefore I have zero respect for him. Period.

  18. I didn’t know the part about the golf club – – super funny. My husband is an architect, which pretty much leaves out any option of me chasing him down the driveway threatening to beat him with something from his profession. I’m pretty sure a roll of blueprints couldn’t break a car window.

  19. This is why I love you, and read you faithfully, because trivial stuff like this matters!!!

  20. I hate men who cheat. I HATE MEN WHO CHEAT.

  21. I think the wife was smart to break out the back window of the SUV….all the farther to drag him through the glass in order to “rescue” him.

  22. Loved that last bit…was totally thinking it!
    And call me naive, distracted, or just plain not really interested in celebrities, but it never occurred to me until Tiger’s apology that it could have been wife *attacking* his car instead of trying to save him from a boneheaded accident. Guess I better renew my subscription to People.
    (And like asking the media to “respect our privacy” has ever worked in the past…)

    • annie valentine says:

      Jessica, he doesn’t get privacy. It’s the opposite of billion dollar celebricy. The one thing money can’t buy…

  23. What a dirtbag. I’ll never get why men throw over hearth and home for (if they’re lucky) 15 minutes. Shmucks.