Magical Coke

It is true, and if you ever doubted it or refrained from trying it, I pity you.

Coka-Cola Classic has magical properties.

Being the kidney stone veteran that I am, I can tell you that I would rather do anything than pass a kidney stone. I’ve had big ones and little ones, but I swear it doesn’t matter the size. They hurt. Like a mother.

So a few years back (just before we moved to Utah) I felt the beginnings of a kidney stone on the move. One of my girlfriends insisted that I try the Coka-Cola and canned asparagus remedy she’d heard of. Being the desperate believer that I am, I signed on the dotted line and the misery began. The recipe is this:

1 liter of Coka-Cola Classic + 1 can of asparagus with the juice. Drink entire liter of Coke in 2 hours and wash it down with the asparagus.

Sounds easy, right? Trust me, it’s not. In fact, I wrote about it for this week’s upcoming column on Thursday. (Actually, I was having writer’s cramp over the weekend and couldn’t think of anything to submit for my column. So I prayed about it, and what do you think the Lord blessed me with? Kidney stone inspiration. It was the most painful column I’ve ever written.)

But the miracle is that both this time and last, I went to bed with kidney pain–and a body that was more carbonated than the Good Year Blimp–but I woke up pain free. It’s been 24 hours and the pain is still totally gone.

I think this test just goes to show the value of Coke. Anything that has the ability to melt rock must be good for you. This is the second time I’ve singed the stones with Coke and asparagus, and let me tell you, I believe.


  1. In the past year, I have been to three different doctors about kidney stones and not a single one recommended the Coke Classic and asparagus remedy! I am so annoyed; what am I paying them for?! 🙂
    I am trying this when the evil little stones make a return visit. 🙂

  2. No. Way. This is incredible. I’ll remember it if I ever get a stone. (Any magical cure for migraines when you’re very pregnant?)

  3. My dad will use Coke to clean up car batteries. It makes me happy k nowing that is going down my esophogus.

  4. Kind a scarey that people drink it all the time, isn’t it??

  5. I’m glad it worked for you, but even the thought makes me want to vomit.

  6. That’s awesome AND really gross. FOR THE WIN!

  7. My aunt who had kidney stones said she had to stop drinking soda and drink tons of water and thats helped keep them away. But man, I’m pregnant so maybe its just me, but the thought of drinking all that coke and asparagus is making me gag! haha

    • annie valentine says:

      You know, I’m not a big pop drinker and drink gallons of water. But there’s something about this mixture that sizzles them to bits. And for the record, keeping it down is the hardest part. Bleh.

  8. I’m with Mel. I can drink Coke, but the mere thought of asparagus, makes me gag! Luckily, I’ve never had a kidney stone.

  9. Canned asparagus! That’s disgusting! Next time(which I hope is NEVER!) I’ll try a coke chaser with my cranberry juice. The more you drink the more you “flush the system!”

  10. Wow! That’s amazing!…..and weird! I’ve had kidney stones, and they were so awful and I was so grumpy it was scary. I hope yours really are gone/dissolved/whatever that does to them.

  11. That’s both cool and frightening.

  12. I’m not a soda drinker at all, and I think that I might die from all that Coke. But, I suppose if I had to choose between dying from a kidney stone and carbonation, I’d choose the carbonation.

    Glad you feel better!

  13. I think I know why. It’s same reason I drink the Orange Juice for gall stones. The acidity softens the stones. And Coke is acidic enough to each concrete. No joke. I don’t know why the asparagus. Maybe to make it truly disgusting. It wouldn’t be a home remedy if it wasn’t gross right?

  14. The asparagus is there just to make your pee smell (giving the home remedy an air of authenticity to it since many antibiotics also do this) so you will feel better about drinking all that Coke, LoL!!

    Glad you’re feeling better!

  15. Yeah! I think it was your readers prayers- but if you want to give Coke the credit- whatever. I think Coke has redeeming qualities (not as a regular part of your diet) because it was the only thing that seemed to help my stomach problems (never diagnosed) when I was down in Mexico!

  16. Okay I just found your blog today and I think you are great! I just read your breastfeeding blog below and I was laughing so hard! Anyways, I just wanted to say thanks for giving me a little smile for the day. Can’t wait to read more from you.

  17. Ewww.

    • Melissa says:

      I could choke down just about anything if I can avoid the experience of a lodged stone and surgery. Been experiencing what feels like “kidney punches” for a while now. Even Mike Tyson would cry for momma with these pains. Thankfully mine have all been short lived. But I break into a sweat and scream out for about 3 seconds each time. Much longer I would be crying for drugs. Blended asparagus and coke can’t be bad to avoid more of this. I’m in.