The Separation Fight

Why is it whenever one of us is about to go out of town, we fight? And to be perfectly honest, it’s not always his fault.

Let me back up a sec. I was in the car with a girlfriend last weekend, and she started telling me about her sister’s marriage, and how wonderful it was. Since I would like to think that my marriage is wonderful/has potential to be more wonderful, I cranked up my listening cap and memorized everything she said.

Apparently, her sister has had a rough year. She and her hubby have a ton of kids, life is crazy, and to top it off they’ve been dealing with her health problems. But instead of kicking at the pricks (or each other’s shins), they’ve grown more tender with one another.

And that was the word she used. Tender.

Something about that word set off bells in my head. I’m loving, I’m affectionate, I’m passionate–but tender? For some really kind of awful reason, when she said that I knew that I’m not necessarily tender with my man’s feelings. And he has them. Feelings. Of which I should be more tender.

So I decided last week to add ” Be Tender with Jason” to my New Year’s resolutions. It lasted six whole days.

On our way to the airport last Thursday I totally picked a fight. Why can’t I just leave and be sweet and be kind and kiss his face and be tender like those other wives? Why do I have to make waves at the worst possible moments? (And why aren’t New Year’s resolutions easier?)

Lucky for me he’s loving and forgiving (most of the time), and despite my sometimes wretched behavior, gets that I’m a work in progress. (Come on, we all know I’m a piece of work. It’s the progress part that counts.)

To make a long story short, I’m home, he still wants me, and luckilly tomorrow is another opportunity to be more tender. And as long as there’s Diet Coke in the house, everybody should be just fine.


  1. I think on the way to airport is probably where I would be the most tender, in the highly likely event I die a horrible, fiery death.

  2. I don’t really do “tender”…. Maybe I need more diet coke? I’m generally in a better mood when I’m caffeinated.

  3. Kristina, “in the highly likely event I die a horrible, fiery death.” HA!

    I kinda, freaking, love my blog friends!

    Great post! With so many boys in my life it’s tempting to be a tough as nails, whips and chains kinda gal. I find that tenderness gets me much further.

  4. I have a hard time with tender, too. My husband knows it. He says he likes my firecracker side. But I’m trying to be more tender because I think he might like that too. At least, I hope he would. 🙂

  5. Yeah, can’t say I have a lot of tenderness…are you saying when he’s sick and laying around the house I should take care of him instead of make fun of him? Okay, good point.

  6. I hide tender until no one else is around. For some reason, I can’t manage to be real soft unless I know there are no witnesses to my “weakness”, even though I don’t think it’s weak. Maybe I need Diet Coke too?

  7. I over-do the tender…I get weepy and clingy and “DON’T LEAVE ME!” and such. I got tender down, baby.

  8. I don’t know if tender is really a good thing, think about what meat looks like after the tenderizer…really? I wouldn’t want to go through life looking like that…

  9. Such a good post, my friend! Yes, we all “got ta, got ta show a little tenderness!!” I’m glad you told me about this post 🙂
    Love you!